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AIBU?

WWYD - how honest would you be?

64 replies

chelle792 · 06/05/2016 09:33

Someone I know and am relatively close with has asked that I look over an application. We both have backgrounds in the same industry. I've read it and it's just not right. She's been applying for jobs and not getting anywhere.

My honest opinion is that it needs scrapping and starting over. I don't feel that there's really anything appealing in the letter. It doesn't highlight her good qualities and although she outlines her experiences, doesn't relate them to the person specification. She won't get a job with this letter.

She's already really stressed about her contract coming to an end with nothing to move on to and has been to the doctors because she is struggling.

Do I either make a few changes and tell her good luck, knowing she won't get anything or tell her that it needs majorly reworking and potentially make her even more stressed?

The deadline for the application is Monday

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RaeSkywalker · 06/05/2016 10:07

I'd definitely tell her- I've done this recently with a friend. Good idea from WhyCant about using your 'boss' as a way to feed back. I'd meet her in person to discuss it if you can.

She obviously knows that something is wrong which is why she's asked for an opinion. Hopefully that means she'll be receptive to your advice!

RaeSkywalker · 06/05/2016 10:08

Just seen your update. Just say you've talked to someone who hires in the industry then?

Bearsinmotion · 06/05/2016 10:15

I had this. I had a member of staff on a fixed term contract looking for work when it finishes. She has been fantastic, I have been really impressed by her, and she gave me her CV to look over.

It was awful! Didn't reflect her skills at all. I showed her a copy of my CV and explained why I had done it the way I had, bring out the bits of experience that correspond to the job ad, get rid of outdated / irrelevant qualifications, neatly formatted.

Writing good CVs is hard, especially when you don't have much practice..

GruffaloPants · 06/05/2016 10:16

Tell her. You can be diplomatic. Just say something like "I'm not sure the way it flows works - it's not really highlighting your talents. Why don't we meet up on Sunday and I'll suggest a new draft"

LikeASoulWithoutAMind · 06/05/2016 10:18

It doesn't highlight her good qualities and although she outlines her experiences, doesn't relate them to the person specification.

I agree with pp this would be a great place to start. "You have loads to offer but you're not selling yourself enough. Tricky to do it for yourself, isn't it? Would you like me to have a go?"

You could perhaps offer to show it to a "friend" who recruits in the industry and feed back their comments.

Roseformeplease · 06/05/2016 10:20

Shit sandwich:

You are such a great person, and perfect employee, you deserve a good job.

This application letter is not showcasing your experience and who you are.

You and I have always worked so well together. Let's start from scratch and show them how foolish they would be to ignore you again.

lalalalyra · 06/05/2016 10:25

Could you not soften any criticism with a "God X, you are brilliant at X/Y/Z... I know you don't like bigging yourself up or bragging, but these folks need to know how ace you are at blahblah..." So you are saying she's very very good, but just isn't selling herself enough (something loads of people do).

AnotherCiderPlease · 06/05/2016 10:34

Why would anyone else in your family need to know that you've helped her with her CV?!

chelle792 · 06/05/2016 10:36

I can do it thankyou all for giving me the confidence! I'm not 100% sure of her strengths as she's pretty negative about what she does but she's bound to have loads! I'm going to make some stuff up, be super nice to her and work with her on this one.

Might have to be done over the phone as she lives a fair distance away but hopefully she will get a job out of this!

OP posts:

chelle792 · 06/05/2016 10:37

another even if no one else knows it'll be another thing she can kick herself with she's asked for help and I'll be as supportive and sensitive as possible. It is awesome though that this latest job is in my area!! Very excited about that!

OP posts:

Eva50 · 06/05/2016 10:38

"You are so awesome and so lovely and have had some amazing experiences and your application just doesn't shout that out."

And you can offer to help her re write it. I'm sure she will be grateful and the rest of the family don't need to know.

ExtraHotLatteToGo · 06/05/2016 10:42

If it's other people that are the problem - then there is no problem, just agree not to tell anyone. Sure, then you don't get the credit for it within the family, but I'm sure that won't bother you.

MrsJayy · 06/05/2016 10:48

I think you should be jolly but honest say something like oh lets give employers what they (need) want to see in and then you are not jabbing at her confidence

chelle792 · 06/05/2016 10:50

extra I def don't want or need credit. I've had nearly two and a half years of therapy to break away so don't buy in to my families philosophies!!

I've drafted an email. How does this sound....

Hey,

Your letter highlights how many amazing experiences you've had, especially with the ...... abroad. I'm wondering if maybe it could be made more obvious (to the idiots reading the letter) about how those experiences have developed your skills. I bet you developed so many skills abroad/working in the Midlands that others won't have and if we can link those tightly to the person specification they've provided it'll be like an idiots guide to why they should employ you!

I was given some really good advice by a ..... when I was a student. The person checking through cv's etc will literally have the person specification next to them and tick off the requirements as they go. If you can literally go through each bullet point in order and give examples where you meet that then it will make there job really easy rather than having to hunt for that expertise.

Do you fancy sitting down on the phone Saturday evening or Sunday morning to go over your letter in some detail? It'd be really good if we can showcase all of the amazing skills you've developed while having your difference experiences.

Lots of love,
Chelle

OP posts:

ShinyShinyShiny · 06/05/2016 11:15

That sounds great, I think the advice about tailoring your application to the person spec is really good.

Believeitornot · 06/05/2016 11:17

I would be honest and have done this before with good friends!

Believeitornot · 06/05/2016 11:19

I would shorten the email and be a bit more blunt but that's just me!

AyeAmarok · 06/05/2016 11:34

I think you need to be honest, otherwise you're not helping her at all!

Divathecat · 06/05/2016 12:25

I would rewrite it, present it back to her and say something along the lines of this is more what I would be using.

I had this happen to me when I asked someone (who owns their own recruitment company) to look at my CV and rather than rewrite it or help me to do so just slated it, when feeling low in the job market that was the worst thing that they could have done tbh.

Divathecat · 06/05/2016 12:27

Just seen your update, personally I would just rewrite it, send it back to her and wish her luck, she might feel defensive if going through her letter and picking it apart?

Winterbiscuit · 06/05/2016 12:27

Definitely agree with being honest. She's asked for your help and you wouldn't be doing her any favours if you weren't. I'd make a few small changes to your message:

Your letter highlights how many amazing experiences you've had, especially with the ...... abroad. I'm wondering if Maybe it could be made more obvious (to the idiots reading the letter) about how those experiences have developed your skills. I bet you developed so many skills abroad/working in the Midlands that others won't have, and if we can link those tightly to the person specification they've provided, it'll be like an idiots guide to clear why they should employ you!

I was given some really good advice by a ..... when I was a student. The person checking through cv's etc will literally have the person specification next to them and tick off the requirements as they go. If you can literally go through each bullet point in order and give examples where you meet that, then it will make their job really easy rather than having to hunt for that expertise.

Do you fancy sitting down on the phone Saturday evening or Sunday morning to go over your letter in some detail? It'd be really good if we can showcase all of the amazing skills you've developed while having your different experiences.

Lots of love,
Chelle

MrsHathaway · 06/05/2016 12:45

Could you send her a suggested total rewrite to discuss on Sunday?

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LaurieLemons · 06/05/2016 12:54

Just rewrite it for her! Then send it back to her and ask if there's anything you've missed. No point beating around the bush and writing it together.

Allbymyselfagain · 06/05/2016 13:00

She's asked for help. She can accept your feedback or chose not to but the only way you'll know it to offer.

chelle792 · 06/05/2016 13:43

Thank you all for your help today, really appreciated. I'm going to sit down and do it with her because I know nothing of her experiences/philosophies around stuff and would need to know all of that in order to rewrite the letter myself. She needs input but I'll start over with her on the phone saturday.

I'll make sure I'm tactful and positive - it'll give her a chance to think about all the things she does well so hopefully will give her a boost. Just keeping my cool at the minute though as I haven't had a thankyou for looking through it or for offering to help

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