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AIBU?

WWYD - how honest would you be?

64 replies

chelle792 · 06/05/2016 09:33

Someone I know and am relatively close with has asked that I look over an application. We both have backgrounds in the same industry. I've read it and it's just not right. She's been applying for jobs and not getting anywhere.

My honest opinion is that it needs scrapping and starting over. I don't feel that there's really anything appealing in the letter. It doesn't highlight her good qualities and although she outlines her experiences, doesn't relate them to the person specification. She won't get a job with this letter.

She's already really stressed about her contract coming to an end with nothing to move on to and has been to the doctors because she is struggling.

Do I either make a few changes and tell her good luck, knowing she won't get anything or tell her that it needs majorly reworking and potentially make her even more stressed?

The deadline for the application is Monday

OP posts:

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chelle792 · 12/05/2016 15:28

Interview is Tuesday and it's not far from my house so she's coming to stay Monday night. I hope she can act confident in the interview! Although she's now decided this area isn't manageable as it's too expensive she's right but she should be fine on her wage

OP posts:

magicstar1 · 12/05/2016 13:39

That's great...well done.
I had that conversation with my old boss surprisingly. He was getting no interviews, even though he's highly qualified. I redid his cv and he got some straight away. It was just worded badly and too long.

FinallyHere · 12/05/2016 13:37

Well done, both of you.

I am eternally grateful to the person who helped me with mine. Im supposed to be good at this stuff, but just couldn't see it for my own CV. Just like you,my friend didn't push the fact that it needed a total rewrite, just concentrated on examples of what i could do differently. I'll be for ever grateful....

HighDataUsage · 12/05/2016 13:21

Well done, it's always good to be honest in situations like this and it has benefited her. So the next stage is to help prepare her for the interview stage. I googled '10 hardest interview questions' and worked through those.

www.theguardian.com/careers/interview-help

Winterbiscuit · 12/05/2016 13:12

Fantastic!

AyeAmarok · 12/05/2016 12:02

Great news! Well done both of you!

sunnyoutside · 12/05/2016 12:02

Aw this is a lovely thread. Being honest without being mean is so important and it really comes across how much you care and how much you think of her. I hope her interview goes well

LikeASoulWithoutAMind · 12/05/2016 12:00

Yay! That's brilliant news OP. Well done

chelle792 · 12/05/2016 11:55

So glad I was honest as she's had so many rejections!

OP posts:

chelle792 · 12/05/2016 11:54

So I have an update....
I ended up spending most of Sunday on and off on the phone to her. We reworked the whole thing.

I've just had a text from her and she's been invited to interview!!

OP posts:

JuneBuggy · 06/05/2016 17:27

Everyone needs a critical friend from time to time. She's come to you for help and you think you've found the issue.

Could you write one for her, suggest she submits that and see how she gets on? People are often really rubbish at seeing and verbalising their best qualities, especially in applications / CVs / interviews!

EarthboundMisfit · 06/05/2016 17:21

Tell her! I can't see much to lose and a lot to gain. I'd be thrilled if someone helped me with that.

PirateFairy45 · 06/05/2016 16:06

Be honest so as she'll get a job

chelle792 · 06/05/2016 13:43

Or agreeing to help, rather

OP posts:

chelle792 · 06/05/2016 13:43

Thank you all for your help today, really appreciated. I'm going to sit down and do it with her because I know nothing of her experiences/philosophies around stuff and would need to know all of that in order to rewrite the letter myself. She needs input but I'll start over with her on the phone saturday.

I'll make sure I'm tactful and positive - it'll give her a chance to think about all the things she does well so hopefully will give her a boost. Just keeping my cool at the minute though as I haven't had a thankyou for looking through it or for offering to help

OP posts:

Allbymyselfagain · 06/05/2016 13:00

She's asked for help. She can accept your feedback or chose not to but the only way you'll know it to offer.

LaurieLemons · 06/05/2016 12:54

Just rewrite it for her! Then send it back to her and ask if there's anything you've missed. No point beating around the bush and writing it together.

MrsHathaway · 06/05/2016 12:45

Could you send her a suggested total rewrite to discuss on Sunday?

Winterbiscuit · 06/05/2016 12:27

Definitely agree with being honest. She's asked for your help and you wouldn't be doing her any favours if you weren't. I'd make a few small changes to your message:

Your letter highlights how many amazing experiences you've had, especially with the ...... abroad. I'm wondering if Maybe it could be made more obvious (to the idiots reading the letter) about how those experiences have developed your skills. I bet you developed so many skills abroad/working in the Midlands that others won't have, and if we can link those tightly to the person specification they've provided, it'll be like an idiots guide to clear why they should employ you!

I was given some really good advice by a ..... when I was a student. The person checking through cv's etc will literally have the person specification next to them and tick off the requirements as they go. If you can literally go through each bullet point in order and give examples where you meet that, then it will make their job really easy rather than having to hunt for that expertise.

Do you fancy sitting down on the phone Saturday evening or Sunday morning to go over your letter in some detail? It'd be really good if we can showcase all of the amazing skills you've developed while having your different experiences.

Lots of love,
Chelle

Divathecat · 06/05/2016 12:27

Just seen your update, personally I would just rewrite it, send it back to her and wish her luck, she might feel defensive if going through her letter and picking it apart?

Divathecat · 06/05/2016 12:25

I would rewrite it, present it back to her and say something along the lines of this is more what I would be using.

I had this happen to me when I asked someone (who owns their own recruitment company) to look at my CV and rather than rewrite it or help me to do so just slated it, when feeling low in the job market that was the worst thing that they could have done tbh.

AyeAmarok · 06/05/2016 11:34

I think you need to be honest, otherwise you're not helping her at all!

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Believeitornot · 06/05/2016 11:19

I would shorten the email and be a bit more blunt but that's just me!

Believeitornot · 06/05/2016 11:17

I would be honest and have done this before with good friends!

ShinyShinyShiny · 06/05/2016 11:15

That sounds great, I think the advice about tailoring your application to the person spec is really good.

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