To be annoyed at husband taking twenty minute showers?

[happygoluckylady]

Anyone else think this is unreasonable? Each morning he will stand in the shower for at least 20 mins. I think it's an obscenity given the amount of water that's used. I know I'm not BU....just venting.

[NNalreadyinuse]

Yabu. Do you want to control his breathing too?

It is entirely possible to spend 20 minutes in the shower and not be doing anything other than washing - some people are not quick to wake up in the morning and a long shower is a nice start to the day.

If my dh tried to tell me how long I could have a shower for, I would not take it at all well!

[NNalreadyinuse]

Scarlet, I hope you are joking. Tone doesn't always translate well to type! If a man did that to his wife it would be rightly seen as abusive.

[happygoluckylady]

Hmmm, thanks for all the comments. Maybe I am being a bit over the top about it. He's definitely just showering in there ;-)

[KurriKurri]

20 mins doesn't seem completely bizarre - at least he's clean.

Hour long baths - normal for me - I take a book in with me and have a good soak.

My XH (note X) used to stand outside the toilet when anyone was using it and hammer on the door when he thought they were taking too long - pretty unpleasant for me (especially after I'd had major bowel surgery and my DD who has IBS) he'd also monitor how much toilet paper we were using.


Leave people alone when they are using the bathroom - it's incredibly rude to time people and lay down (your own invented) rules about how long these things should take.

[Alexa444]

Seriously? My hair takes that long alone. A shower takes at least half hour. I can take faster baths than showers and that would really irritate me tbh someone dictating how long I may wash for and I'd probably tell you to to kindly fuck off if you said that.

[Bogeyface]

I think it depends. If you are in a house with one bathroom/loo and everyone has to be out in the morning then I would say 20 minutes is OTT and selfish. Its perfectly possible to shower in 5 minutes, and considerate to do so if you know that other people need to use the bathroom.

Also, if you have limited hot water then its bloody selfish to use it all yourself and leave none for anyone else.

However if there is more than one bathroom, unlimited hot water and no time constraints then I dont think it matters.

[Tigerblue]

Mine also spends approx 20 mins under the shower, as well as 20 mins shaving, going to the loo and whatever else - he calls this quick. I've washed my hair (long), body and used a facial scrub in the shower this morning, dried myself and applied moisturizer and deodorant, all within 15 mins Luckily I shower in the morning so it doesn't affect me, but DD showers in the evening so sometimes we have moans.

[CaptainAnkles]

Twenty minutes isn't that bad. My 14yo can sometimes be in there 45 mins and still forget to wash his hair

[ItsLikeRainOnYourWeddingDay]

Yanbu. I can wash face and body and shampoo and conditioner---- longish hair in the time it takes him to wash his face body and very short hair. He just stands there like a statue enjoying the peace and quiet a long hot shower gives.

Fair enough but when I am then left with 3 minutes to have a body shower and dry shampoo my hair before he goes to work escapes from the baby it's pretty bloody annoying.

[shovetheholly]

YANBU! You can get shower heads that change colour depending on how long a person has been under there - the idea is to be ecofriendly and save water, but it could also solve your problem!

[mumeeee]

I'm fairly quick in the shower and am usually finished in less than 10 minutes.
However I wouldn't say that 20 minutes is a long time maybe slightly longer than average but not an excessive time.
If my youngest daughter is finished in 20 minutes we think that's quick. She often takes at least 30 minutes. 😀

[rubberducker]

My DH does this too. He says it's his thinking time, when he ponders what he's got on during the day etc. Which would be fine, except half the time he takes so long that I have to be in and out within 5 min despite having long hair to wash. There have also been numerous occasions where he's spent so long in there that he's used all the hot water (not an easy feat bearing in mind the size of our hot water tank!)

Long showers are fine if they're not impacting on anyone else in the house.

[FeckOfffCup]

My DP does this too. He's openly admitted he just likes standing in the warm water, it gets on my nerves though, it's such a waste of water.
I'm five minutes in the shower and I have fairly long hair. I can wash my hair, body wash, and shave my armpits and legs in those five minutes.

[Fluffy40]

I can have a bath in half that time!!

[SeaLionsOnMyShirt]

YABU. I'd love it if my DH took 20 min showers, unfortunately it's more like 30 mins I could understand it if he had any hair to wash....

[ouryve]

If he needs that long a soak, he's better off having a bath. It'd use much less water.

[Pinkheart5915]

I take 20 minute showers sometimes longer , I love long showers.
Dh can be in and out in 10 minutes

[Letustryagain]

Yep, DH uses the shower for 'other activities' due to mis-matched libidos. However, that only adds a minute or two and when we're paying £90 a bloody month for water (DH showers twice a day, I shower once a day and DD showers 3 times a week - she's 6), I think I have a right to be a bit peed off that he spends too long in there. So OP, YAdefinitelyNBU!!!

[DrDreReturns]

He's having a wank.

[JennyOnAPlate]

I only take 15 minutes on days I wash/condition my hair and shave my legs. Fuck knows how anyone would fill 20 minutes!!

[FeckOfffCup]

He's having a wank

see, I thought that for ages but DP insists he isn't and I believe him as if he was he would just say, he's not shy about it

[whois]

Oh, you wouldn't like our house. DP takes about 30 mins and I need a good 15 mins to wash and wind down at the end of the day.

[Seeyounearertime]

if i was in the shower having a wank for that amount of time i really don't know what i would do with the spare 19.30

[Jengnr]

Having a wank surely doesn't take 20mins? Unless he's romancing himself with a bottle of wine first?

[DrDreReturns]

Having a wank surely doesn't take 20mins It might be a slow, sensual one.