To think this isn't something to brag about?

[FuckSanta]

Acquaintance has posted pics on FB today of her 5 year old daughter. Apparently she's "so proud" of her daughter for being "so brave" while recovering from having 10 teeth removed due to decay (the kid lives on junk food and Coke). Surely this isn't something to brag about? I'd be mortified if my child needed such treatment due to parental neglect!

It's only Facebook at the end of the day. On the face of it, it does appear a bit weird but, I suppose everyone has different motives

Lost a large majority of my childhood and adult teeth due to a condition in my childhood, have to wear uncomfortable false teeth that really hurt when I eat, it's not due to poor dental hygiene or shit parenting all the time. Great being judged though..

It is virtually impossible to avoid sugar and if your children have problems with enamel formation/were premature/you were sick during pg at the time when their teeth were forming, then the weaknesses on their teeth will make them more vulnerable to decay from a normal diet. There will be other kids, drinking fruit juice and yes, eating the odd mcflurry, whose teeth will be utterly unaffected simply because their teeth are stronger. Kids with good teeth are not necessarily blessed with better parents, they often just have less vulnerable teeth and it isn't fair to judge parents who may be doing things exactly the same way as lots of others, just because their dc teeth are more vulerable.

And the thought that some busy body with a half arsed protection training would be told that severe dental decay was a marker for neglect, and use that to report me to Social Services absolutely terrifies me

I can understand why, an issue gets touched on at a course sometimes spread over 3 mornings or 2 days or something like that then all of a sudden you end up with a none specialist professional in a unrelated field thinking they have the knowledge to asses neglect

At the very least you get them pop up on threads like this saying things like "it is a red flag/neglect" often they go a little further and make several posts all implying the neglect line but when they come out and drop the 'I learnt it on my course' clanger they of course insert the word could instead of is,

At worst you end up with someone who sees a childs teeth and with no other knowledge starts mentally preparing a case, all of a sudden that day you got stuck in traffic and had to ring the school to let them know you were running 4 mins late and that time your kid got toothpaste on their school jumper and you didn't notice until the end of the day along with loads of other tiny little things that nobody at all would even raise an eyebrow at anybody else's child experancing, with your child turns into supposed evidence.

And no ive never been on the receiving end of it but ive wasted a fuck load of hours dealing with people who have, you can tell without being told what's in the local training for which ever venues by the referals that come through over the following months, I'm glad im out of that aspect of the job now because it's soul destroying watching abuse free families suffer long term effects caused by idiots because of course if those families decide to stop using the establishment that refers them that's another fucking "red flag" and if they stay it's unusual for the establishment to not cause ongoing issues.

A lot of people on a lot of courses could do themselves a huge service by asking the trainers about combination indicators and why isolated indicators are not in themselves indicative of anything.

I also posted a picture of my child after having her teeth removed. because to me, she looked beautiful and I WAS PROUD OF HER. is that ok with you, OP?

if you really can't see the difference between being proud of your child for getting through a horrible experience, and being proud of what caused that horrible experience, then you are hard of thinking.

my youngest child needed surgery because she injured herself on something that was completely my fault. I was proud of her after the surgery and told everyone how brave she was. Obviously thats not the same as me saying i'm proud that im an idiot who caused my child an injury through not thinking. its not that difficult a concept to see the difference, surely?!

Always amuses me at how wonderfully tolerant and non judgemental most posters on MN seem to think they are and totally blow it with the way they speak to other posters they don't agree with!

I don't think i'm wonderfully tolerant or non-judgemental. I judge people who are too dim to see the difference between two completely unrelated concepts. i admit it.

My Dd had 5 milk teeth removed. Her milk teeth were shit. It had nothing to do with diet, unless you include breast feeding. Luckily, they were replaced with the whitest, straightest natural teeth ever. I like to think it's her reward for the time the dentist had to pin her down when she was 4.

I cannot imagine being thrilled as a child, if my parents put up pictures for all their friends to see, of me recovering from dental surgery.

I do think that's weird. If my parents were proud of me, they could tell me in words, just as the majority of parents did, pre social media.

I also think there is a lot of minimising of the impact poor dental health has.

I used to see a lot dental extractions and sadly, even total clearances where I used to work. Yes, we had a significant proportion of children with sensory issues around toothbrushing due to special needs, but the vast majority were due to diet and oral hygiene.

I think if some posters on here spent some time on a dental list in a children's hospital, they would understand what a massive problem this is an exactly what condition some children's teeth are in and they don't get that way from the odd night of not being brushed.

As for severe dental decay requiring social services, a child having a total clearance will certainly need some kind of input in terms of advice with regards to diet and speech and language therapy.

I saw a four year old having every single tooth in their head removed due to dental decay (no SN issues either). A child in that situation needs more than likes on Facebook.

I have five children with the same diets for the most part.

I have two who have had fillings at a young age. They seem to take after their father. Bad teeth no matter how well they look after them.

My others have none and neither do I at the age of nearly 35. I don't look after mine any better than those with fillings do I'm sure. I live on pepsi max so I must have super strong teeth.

So when people judge others for having children with decay I feel like crap because it's not my fault. DS 14 is having a general for a complicated tooth removal next week.

My son had some teeth removed due to decay he is also severely autistic with learning and I struggle to clean his teeth he also has a rare chromosome disorder which make his teeth more prone to decay but you know judge away

What does this have to do with anything posted so far? The OP was judging a !other who fed he children crap and was responsible for the child's tooth decay.

I think it's terrible OP and I'd be mortified if it were one of my children.

Im glad that it's an acquaintance of yours and not a 'friend'
Sock amnesty puts it way better than I ever could.
Anyone would think you'd only posted in the sure belief that we'd all join you on your judgmental high horse.

I don't know why people are being so disbelieving... it is not at all uncommon for dental decay to be rampant in poor areas with children needing multiple extractions just as OP has described. If they spend their early years sucking juice, sugary tea or soft drinks from a bottle, they will exactly grow rotten teeth. This is entirely different to dental decay in children who have a disorder, as anyone in child welfare or dentistry knows full well.

This thread is ridiculous and very fucking judgy, dental care has changed since the majority of posters were young.

My children had teeth removed under GA. I am from a family of people who have SHIT TEETH, we are middle class, visit the dentist regularly, do not feed our children crap, my children brush twice a day with electric toothbrushes, they use mouthwash, and yes, they do have treats at the weekends, but they do not regularly eat sugary food. And I am aware of hidden sugars.

The dental protocol has changed since the 1970's when it was more common to fill baby teeth, now, if a tooth needs to be treated, it is recognised that all teeth with any decay will be removed at the same time so we have scenarios where a child is sedated and multiple teeth are removed.

I'm still unconvinced that this is the best method, I can see the reasoning as fillings can be traumatic for children and ultimately useless as baby teeth are not retained.

However, I am not a dentist.

And neither are the majority of posters on here, it's always nice when you can bathe in the salty snack of righteousness tough.

Fill your boots though judgers.

And do you know what? It's utterly rubbish to be judged when your children have SN, it's wearying, it's so tedious.

Worry about your own children.

Fuck worrying about anyone elses.

Veryproud my half arsed training wouldn't cause me to report anyone to SS simply because of tooth decay . I did say the image was a lot more extreme , so all teeth completely rotten in a much younger child . There would be questions asked and rightly so , there may well be mitigating circumstances , but where there aren't I would say the childs right to be pain free and not be limited in their speech and development overrides the parents wish not to feel judged . It may be that they haven't been able to access dental care ( NHS provision can be shocking ) , perhaps they are on the bones of their arse and cant afford new toothbrushes and toothpaste , perhaps they just need a bit of education . Not asking though doesn't help the child and their welfare is paramount surely ?

MrsDeVere

Not only in poor areas, but there's a strong correlation.

www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/half-children-tooth-decay---5366196

www.nhs.uk/news/2014/11November/Pages/does-being-poor-make-your-teeth-fall-out.aspx

The analysis on the NHS website concluded that

               "[While] in the oldest group, a huge difference between richest and poorest (based on current income) has opened up, and the unadjusted marginal difference was nearly eight teeth." This is the figure that made most of the media headlines... These findings are likely to represent a broadly accurate picture of the state of oral health in the UK and how it is related to various measures of income inequality."

We've had chats about birth defects, grommets, tonsils, deafness, ASD, ADHD, allergies, speech therapy, lip ties, chicken pox, scarlet fever etc at the school gate.

Well clearly they're all wrong to discuss it with you.

What if their standard of care in one of these situations isn't good enough for you? Another judgey thread so you can feel superior?

What is so odd about her posting that she's proud of her dd on FB? Why is it odd? People post about their kids all the time on it.

It's not the posting that she's proud, it's the photo of the kid's sore and swollen gums and face (she's quite obviously feeling battered) that bothers me the most, I think. And the laughing about the now banned foods.

Oh FFS. You're being ridiculous now. There are hundreds of photos of me with my medically rotten teeth. I'd think it weird if there weren't. But they weren't splashed all over FB !!!!