To think this isn't something to brag about?

[FuckSanta]

Acquaintance has posted pics on FB today of her 5 year old daughter. Apparently she's "so proud" of her daughter for being "so brave" while recovering from having 10 teeth removed due to decay (the kid lives on junk food and Coke). Surely this isn't something to brag about? I'd be mortified if my child needed such treatment due to parental neglect!

[FuckSanta]

I didn't actually make any statements about rich or poor. The mum that I was talking about works hard in an administrative role but admits she has no idea how to cook. She lives on takeaways and cider and so she's not cooking for her kids either. I don't know about dental hygiene. My DD is a total fruit and chocolate monster so we're quite careful with her dental hygiene (and dried apricots are basically nature's fruit gums). She DD seem to have inherited DH's good teeth rather than mine though!

[PortiaCastis]

Yes it was the same kind of thing the other day when someone started a thread asking what are council types.
Goadiness to the extreme, why do people think they are better than others? I suppose money talks but I was brought up not to look down on others otherwise I'd have an almighty fall

[PortiaCastis]

I'm poor my dd is 17 and doesn't have any fillings now or in her baby teeth. I did not let her drink cola from a bottle or call her Chardonnay or have her ears pierced. She has very good teeth so do I. We are poor because her Father left us and things have been difficult. I am poor but I don't wear kappa trackies or smoke or drink.
Stereotyping is hurtful and the media love to demonise us because we don't have spare money.
My dd has what I can give her so I taught her to clean her teeth and floss. She has no issues whatsoever and did not need braces.
Do not judge people by the amount of money they have, that's very shallow

[NNalreadyinuse]

Because wealthier people can afford dental care to fix their children's teeth at the first sign of problems and poor people are stuck with often shoddy provision from the nhs. It's not because richer people are intrinsically better parents, feeding their dc fewer sweets. I am getting fed up with the assumption that being poor equates to being stupid or lazy or just generally crap at life.

[JerryFerry]

MrsD yes I will stand by my poor areas comment. I don't expect it to be popular but it is accurate. Dental decay is far more common in areas of social deprivation than in affluent areas.

[ImNotThatGirl]

I agree with the sentiments of "a 3 hour training course and they think they're a social worker".

[NeedsAsockamnesty]

No NN of course it does not but people always pay far more attention to how poor people parent and when other families fuck up they are far more likely to have excuses handed to them on a plate, and families with better incomes can avoid a lot of attention by using paid for treatment where they may have access to more reactionary fixing methods or staff far more willing to deal with it

[liinyo]

I have 2 DDs. Both had their teeth checked and brushed regularly from infancy. Both breastfed until about 12 months. Older one was not bothered by sweet foods at all in infancy and had awful teeth requiring several extractions and much attention. Younger one was v sweet toothed and ate as much sugary stuff as she could get (not much at home but would never decline anything offered when visiting). Now in her twenties she has never had a filling. Some people just have stronger teeth than others. It is not just down to diet and oral hygiene.

[NNalreadyinuse]

I am uncomfortable with the notion that it is poor people who are sending their kids to bed with a bottle full of juice and a handful of haribo. Poor does not equal stupid!

[NeedsAsockamnesty]

I know you do MrsD and I have seen before that you always ask the question and usually get the raisey eyebrows look followed by the lovely statement "don't special needs children deserve the same protection as other children"

I have also figured out that you are intelligent enough to keep asking it because the vast majority of the time children with SN's obtain the same protection by having professionals involved who have a decent understanding of the needs they have due to the SN not by some base line criteria.

Yes if someone is not qualified enough to make a valid decision then reporting is the answer but report what you actually see what you actually have knowledge of don't appoint yourself as an investigator and use fluff on your referal if you wouldn't report or inc something in a referal if it was the naice family down the road then don't if it's the lone parent a few streets away. (And that bit was not aimed at you Mrs D)

[Waltermittythesequel]

Sorry, I'm confused. What is it you have a problem with exactly?

Because first it was the dc's diet, now it's the photo.

[FuckSanta]

My cousin's daughter knocked her front 4 top teeth out when she ran into a post aged 3. She's still gorgeous, but her mother didn't put a photo on FB of her with a mouth full of gauze.

[FuckSanta]

Oh FFS. You're being ridiculous now. There are hundreds of photos of me with my medically rotten teeth. I'd think it weird if there weren't. But they weren't splashed all over FB !!!!

[FuckSanta]

It's not the posting that she's proud, it's the photo of the kid's sore and swollen gums and face (she's quite obviously feeling battered) that bothers me the most, I think. And the laughing about the now banned foods.

[Waltermittythesequel]

We've had chats about birth defects, grommets, tonsils, deafness, ASD, ADHD, allergies, speech therapy, lip ties, chicken pox, scarlet fever etc at the school gate.

Well clearly they're all wrong to discuss it with you.

What if their standard of care in one of these situations isn't good enough for you? Another judgey thread so you can feel superior?

What is so odd about her posting that she's proud of her dd on FB? Why is it odd? People post about their kids all the time on it.

[herecomethepotatoes]

MrsDeVere

Not only in poor areas, but there's a strong correlation.

www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/half-children-tooth-decay---5366196

www.nhs.uk/news/2014/11November/Pages/does-being-poor-make-your-teeth-fall-out.aspx


The analysis on the NHS website concluded that

"[While] in the oldest group, a huge difference between richest and poorest (based on current income) has opened up, and the unadjusted marginal difference was nearly eight teeth." This is the figure that made most of the media headlines... These findings are likely to represent a broadly accurate picture of the state of oral health in the UK and how it is related to various measures of income inequality."

[frumpet]

Veryproud my half arsed training wouldn't cause me to report anyone to SS simply because of tooth decay . I did say the image was a lot more extreme , so all teeth completely rotten in a much younger child . There would be questions asked and rightly so , there may well be mitigating circumstances , but where there aren't I would say the childs right to be pain free and not be limited in their speech and development overrides the parents wish not to feel judged . It may be that they haven't been able to access dental care ( NHS provision can be shocking ) , perhaps they are on the bones of their arse and cant afford new toothbrushes and toothpaste , perhaps they just need a bit of education . Not asking though doesn't help the child and their welfare is paramount surely ?

[HoundoftheBaskervilles]

And do you know what? It's utterly rubbish to be judged when your children have SN, it's wearying, it's so tedious.

Worry about your own children.

Fuck worrying about anyone elses.