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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not sell a potentially £million plus property for £200,000?

507 replies

InheritanceDilema · 10/04/2016 20:34

Got a really sticky situation and need some advice.

FIL has died and Dh and BIL have inherited his house and small holding. We are not local and do not wish to live there. It's BILs dream to live there and he wants to buy us out and will happily pay us half of the £400,000 valuation of the small holding inc the house.

There are eight acres of land and I genuinely believe that planning permission could be got. The fields are in the middle of a village, so surrounded by built up areas/houses on all sides. Obviously if planning permission was gained the value of the land would be a lot more.

Bil has no interest in planning permission or making any money. He wants to live in his childhood home surrounded by goats, chickens and gooseberry bushes living a River Cottage dream. Dh doesn't want to rock the boat and doesn't know what to do.

I know if we did sell it we could put a thing on the sale saying if BIL did in the future get planning permission we would be entitled to more money. But I know BIL wouldn't ever seek planning permission. He won't even consider only having some of the land and planning permission for the rest of it. He wants a couple of ponies and says he needs all the land. I don't want to kiss goodbye to a considerable amount of money just to keep the peace.....we're not that well off. BIL owns 4 houses and already has a fantastic pension as well as rental income and his current house is worth half a million. We're in a terrace with no other houses and while £200,000 is a lot of money i don't think it's fair that BIL expects us to let him have his own way.

OP posts:
Ouriana · 10/04/2016 21:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

idontlikealdi · 10/04/2016 21:16

I think you're being grabby, sorry. What does your du actually think?

FirstWeTakeManhattan · 10/04/2016 21:16

I don't want to kiss goodbye to a considerable amount of money just to keep the peace

If Dh decides he is happy with what BIL is offering then that is very much his decision

Let's see which one of these two somewhat conflicting statements is realised then.

Well don't worry then OP. It's between your BiL and your DH, so stop fretting about your lost millions.

idontlikealdi · 10/04/2016 21:17

DH!

Original poster
InheritanceDilema · 10/04/2016 21:17

enrique. BIL won't entertain anything like that. He wants to make improvements to the house and land which he says he's not prepared to do unless he owns it fully. Ditto he is not prepared to buy the house unless he can buy all the land. He's making it very clear he wants to buy everything.

OP posts:
MisForMumNotMaid · 10/04/2016 21:17

Do you or bil have DC? Is one option that the next generation get to keep some sort of interest in hike in value of the property if sold.

Its quite common to see retention clauses in properties sold if development opportunities are exploited.

zoemaguire · 10/04/2016 21:18

Another one who doesn't think you are being grabby. The development potential of land is part of its value, and one valuation by somebody picked by bil is clearly not enough either morally or, it seems, legally. As for the back story, I think it is highly relevant. Your bil didn't exactly cover himself in moral high ground by his behaviour towards his brother - accepting a 20k gift from his father in order to buy out his brother is pretty crap of him IMO. I wouldn't be so certain about the purity of his motives this time round. Get proper advice!

Original poster
InheritanceDilema · 10/04/2016 21:18

Yes, kids on our side and BILs.

OP posts:
FinallyFreeFromItAll · 10/04/2016 21:19

You are being extremely grabby. It is not worth over a million. It is worth 400,000. You can put a claw back in for if planning was ever gained and thus the value actually was higher. I don't blame bill for not wanting to get planning and you have no place in getting all uppity about it.

Tbh you should be grateful that you are getting 200,000. Your DH's parents could have left it a to a cats home if they wanted - you have no automatic right to receive anything.

FirstWeTakeManhattan · 10/04/2016 21:19

This is not just her husbands inheritance it is family money that their children will also benefit from

But if the OP pisses off the entire family to grab whatever she can, then the DC might miss out on a harmonious extended family life. How about the DC visiting the farm where their grandfather lived? Seeing the house stay in the family and being used to pursue a dream?

Is it only the money that matters?

MizK · 10/04/2016 21:20

I'm sure your PIL would rather their home be lived in and treasured by one of their sons than have a DIL insist upon getting every last penny out of the property, even if that involves causing a family rift.

You do sound like you are being greedy. As you say, your BIL isn't fleecing you. He wants his parents home as it is, to use and to live in. It means something to him. Forget potential land value. It's not going to be realised unless you force the issue.

Enjoy and be grateful for your share of the inheritance.

Original poster
InheritanceDilema · 10/04/2016 21:20

zoe. Yes, I thought BIL was sneaky last time. And by the way I never voiced this thought to anyone. Never even hinted at my thoughts to Dh.

OP posts:
Fishface77 · 10/04/2016 21:21

I see your point op.
I would look out for my own too. No it wasn't your dad and it's not your brother but surely a decision like this should be made as a family? You and DH are a couple therefore your opinion counts.
Maybe I'm mercenary too but hey ho I've been burnt too many times. Done the right thing too many times and took the "higher ground" too many times. Because of this and the decisions I've made my family have missed out on a comfortable existence. We live from day to day. Wage packet to wage packet. And that's my fault for trying to be the better person.
Yes £200k would make a big difference but half a mill would make even more so I'm with you.
Is your bil rather disingenuous? Could he have a hidden agenda? I'm sorry I haven't read all the replies but I had to post first.

NotDavidTennant · 10/04/2016 21:22

Reading between the lines, it sounds like you don't consider your BIL to be trustworthy. Do you suspect he is spinning you a line and wants to develop it himself?

CoyRoy · 10/04/2016 21:23

I think you've gotten a really rough time. I'm not due any inheritance, but if I were, I'd hope DH would help me with any dilemmas such as this, especially as I may be grieving and not thinking straight. Hoping for another £300k is not greedy when such an amount can really enhance your lives and those of your children. That would allow one parent to stay at home if they so wish, or get the children lessons in piano or whatever. Why should one brother get more? What if OP's DH is a soft touch and always being done over by his brother. OP is married and I think DH's money is hers too.

OTheHugeManatee · 10/04/2016 21:23

You could argue for a covenant to be placed on the land giving you mr family a percentage of the increase in value if the land is developed. I think that's reasonable. But anything more than that YABU, sorry, and look a bit grabby.

Creampastry · 10/04/2016 21:23

Speak to an estate agent and see what they say. You'll need 3 quotes surely for probate.

I don't think you're being grabby.

Guiltydilemma · 10/04/2016 21:23

You have to remember that most mumsnetters don't like or think anyone that has a bit of wealth is reasonable. In nearly all cases most mumsnetters will consider you as grabby! #jealous

MiniCooperLover · 10/04/2016 21:23

BIL is intending to buy you out and THEN he'll get planning permission for the land ???

PegsPigs · 10/04/2016 21:25

I can see with the history of being shafted you don't want to be in that position again. I don't see you as grabby; I see you as covering your back.

I know it's likely to cost you but perhaps it might be worth taking legal advice?

FirstWeTakeManhattan · 10/04/2016 21:25

God. Without going into identifying detail, we've got inheritance issues about millions sloshing around. Loads of interested parties, loads of 'I deserve more'.

It makes me sick. I've made my position clear. Stop fighting over fucking money. I would rather not get a bloody penny and have everyone happy, sharing their happiness, and enjoying life.

Grabbiness doesn't half bring out the worst in people.

Ouriana · 10/04/2016 21:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

shazzarooney99 · 10/04/2016 21:25

I think you are being very grabby, take the money and run and thank yourself lucky you are in that position.

BlueJug · 10/04/2016 21:25

I understand OP.

Can you agree to rent it to BiL and if and when it is sold get it valued with PP and spit the proceeds?
Could you put it into a trust and BiL can pay the trust rent for the duration and when it is sold split the proceeds?
See a lawyer.
See a professional valuer - not an estate agent a proper valuer.

You are not mercenary or greedy. No-one here if given the chance to have £1.5m in their pocket would give it away, (= kids education, hospital care if needed, holidays, a nicer home for you and kids, care fees for a parent....). Money = a nicer life

I have heard many a story when something relinquished out of the best motives is later cashed in by someone else.

(My own Mother was given £50k for an asset left to her by my dad. Six months later it was sold to starngers for over £3m. So much for sentiment and doing the right thing. Now that I am struggling and my mother's care costs are escalting I feel even angrier about that.).

You can do the right thing - and be fair to both brothers.

FirstWeTakeManhattan · 10/04/2016 21:26

#jealous

Oh, do grow up.

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