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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be worried about being an old mum?!

104 replies

ilovevegcrisps · 25/03/2016 20:09

Tell me I'm being really unreasonable! I feel bloody ancient compared to all the other TTC ladies!

OP posts:
cocochanel21 · 25/03/2016 21:28

I had Dd1 at 15 so I has definitely the youngest in my baby groupSmile

I had Dd2 at 38 she's now 4mths all the mum's in the baby group this time went to school with Dd1.

I feel really OLD.

Greengardenpixie · 25/03/2016 21:28

I had my last at 43. Most mums at the nursery are about my age. I was very young when I had my first. I prefer it being older tbh. I think as a young mum, I was all over the place in my head! I am way more sensible and not concerned with going out with my mates etc. I also have way more life experience. You are young anyway!!! compared to me

rugbychick · 25/03/2016 21:29

I had dd at 40 and 4 months. I'm not denying it's more tiring as an older mother, but I have a lot of life skills to offer

ilovevegcrisps · 25/03/2016 21:29

Brilliant, coco :)

One of my friends had her DD at 16 (they're both amazing!) - it's strange how such big gaps can come out of women's fertile years! I'm ten years older than my friend and if I have a child, he or she will be ten years younger than friends DD!

OP posts:
MissElizaBennett · 25/03/2016 21:31

Well, I'm 36 with a 10 month old, and I'm about the youngest in my NCT group. I don't regret being a slightly older mother for a moment - if anything, I feel I have more time and patience to give now. Go for that BFP!

PacificDogwod · 25/03/2016 21:32

It is not that long ago that women had a baby a year from whenever they got married until menopause put a stop to that - I am very glad I had a bit more of a choice in the matter!

ilovevegcrisps · 25/03/2016 21:34

I'd be ok - no one will make an honest woman of me Grin

OP posts:
MotherBeauty · 25/03/2016 21:37

I had my son at 36. I find that I have more patience with him, am more easygoing and definitely far more energy! At the school playground, yes, the other mums are younger but in no way do I "stick out like a sore thumb".

If anything, having had my son at 36, it has kept me fitter in body and younger in mind!Smile

SoThatHappened · 25/03/2016 21:43

Does a 36 year old need a child to keep them younger in mind?

At 36 you're becoming an old codger and set in your ways....really? I'm as young in mind at that age as I was when i was 21.

teatowel · 25/03/2016 21:43

I know someone who has 4 children . She was 40 when she had the first one and 47 the last.

FirstWeTakeManhattan · 25/03/2016 21:43

I barely know anyone who had a baby before their mid-30's!!

I started at 36 and now have DC3. You're not old!

Jelliebabe1 · 25/03/2016 21:47

I love! I've got twin Baby girls, I'm 41! It's how you feel not how old you are! I had a brilliant pregnancy and people are envious of how I'm Coping/managing. So don't give it another thought. Yes I'd have loved to have them earlier but hey, shit happens

SoThatHappened · 25/03/2016 21:51

It's how you feel not how old you are!

This may be true in your 40's now as that is still young. I have to say that being saddled with a mother in her 60s in my late teens, being as young as you feel was utter shite. She WAS her age. It catches up.

Asleep in the chair by 9pm. Grouchy about being woken up. Can't drink tea beyond a certain time or she'd be up all night.

She was very much her age. Not fair to saddle a teenager with that IMO and I wont but to each their own.

VocationalGoat · 25/03/2016 21:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

guthriegirl · 25/03/2016 22:08

Mmm. Think you're being a little emotive with words like ' saddled' So that happened. I would hate my children to feel that way about me at any age. My parents are now in their 70s and are still very much up for a party. More so than when I was a teenager and they late 40s were still working full time. We have no way of knowing how we will be at any age. Ill health can strike at any time and some people do cope with ageing better than others. If life had gone exactly to my early 20s plan I would have had children much younger. It didn't and I didn't. Oh well. As you say different strokes...,,

BlurtonOnKites · 25/03/2016 22:16

I'm 24 with DD1 whose 5 months and I'm always the youngest by far at all the baby classes and groups I go to. I stick out like a sore thumb. Most people are mid thirties I think and quite a few are 40+

Don't worry about it, there's pro's and con's whatever age you have them. We're skint and it's interesting what pp are saying about patience because mines shit.

Lilipot15 · 25/03/2016 22:25

I live in a small town and I am definitely one of the older mums at 39. So much so that when I come across another mum who looks my age or older I sort of gravitate towards them. But at the end of the day it doesn't really matter, one of my best "mum friends" is 12 years younger.

VoldysGoneMouldy · 25/03/2016 22:26

I'm 25 this year, and DS is turning 7. I'm easily the youngest mum on the school run.

There is no right or wrong time. There will be mums feeling the same as you, or the opposite as you, or worried about countless other things. You're not old. And hey, even if you are, you're still awesome!

queenoftheboys · 25/03/2016 22:28

I had my first at 38, fourth at 43, and now 15 years later I can say that I was definitely a better mother - more patient, more confident and more content than I would have been 10 years earlier. I'm pretty average amongst school gate mums too, and I don't think my age has scarred any of my children for life!

And I've never been able to drink coffee after a certain time because I'd be up all night - that hasn't changed since my twenties and I'm fairly confident in saying it's a matter of complete indifference to my children!

Xmasbaby11 · 25/03/2016 22:29

I was 35 and 37 when I had my dc. I was the oldest out if my nct friends but generally have many friends who've had children later. I'd like to think it's common now to have babies later. My mum was 39 when she had me. I always felt she was an older mum and all her mum friends were 10 years younger. I never intended to leave it late but the time wasn't right until mid thirties.

BARB060609 · 25/03/2016 22:37

First time poster here, wanted to comment as this is relevant to me, I am pregnant with my first baby which is due in July, and I will be 37 in April. A lot of friends my age have teenage children, but there are still friends from my year at school having them now so I think mid to late thirties is very normal these days to have children.

Ideally I would have had one 5 years ago but it just didn't happen according to plan. I am over the moon now and certainly don't feel too old, if anything its made me think more about looking after myself more even after the baby is born and being healthier which will probably make me feel younger anyway. Hooe I am not boring anyone with this x

calamityjam · 25/03/2016 22:38

I was 31 when I had ds he is 8 now and I am one of the youngest mums in his class. Not many of them realise that his older brother is 20. I was most definitely the youngest mum in his class at school and felt very self conscious at school runs.

Vanillaradio · 25/03/2016 22:42

You are really not old. I was 37 when I had ds, now 39 and contemplating ttc again. I know a lot of mums similar age to me and older including one who had twins at 47!

CornishDoll82 · 25/03/2016 22:47

Around here I'd say average age is 36/37 and plenty in 40s. A girl on my NCT is 29 and she massively stood out!

Greengardenpixie · 25/03/2016 22:51

I have to say that being saddled with a mother in her 60s in my late teens, being as young as you feel was utter shite. She WAS her age. It catches up.

That is your mum. Not every person will be like that at 60!!! Sorry you had such a shit childhood but it does not mean that others will be the same. My mum was older and was also brought up with my gran. I never felt that way about either of them. It never crossed my mind.

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