To be worried about being an old mum?!

[ilovevegcrisps]

Tell me I'm being really unreasonable! I feel bloody ancient compared to all the other TTC ladies!

[MetalMidget]

I'm 35 and pregnant with our first, I'll be 36 when he makes his appearance in summer! Never really thought of myself as being old - my mom was just over 36 when she had me (32 when she had my brother), and most of my friends and colleagues have been in their mid-late 30s/early 40s when they've had their first.

It did take us two years to conceive though, turns out I have a wonky thyroid and PCOS!

[MoonriseKingdom]

First at 35, 37 when my second is due. Everyone at my nct and at local baby group is into their 30s and I am certainly not the oldest. Have met a couple of mums recently with grown up children who have just started their second family with a new partner.

It's definitely area dependent. I live in a middle class area of a large Northern town. Round my area most women have careers and have children later. If you go into the town centre or when you go to the hospital you see a lot of younger looking women (early 20s) pregnant/ with a baby. I'd say NCT seems to attract older mums.

[Whatthefoxgoingon]

I had mine in my early thirties. If I had my time again, I would have waited till my late thirties and enjoyed my time as a couple more (more travelling, more luxuries, more sleep!). I was one of the first of my friends to have kids.

[rosy71]

I had mine at 33 & 36 & felt I was on the old side. However, lots of people I know had their first at 35+ so it's not unusual at all. Several of ds2's friends' mums are older than I am. My grandmother was 44 when she had my dad & my aunt was 46 when she had my cousin, so I was positively youthful in comparison!

Having babies in your late 30s/40s is nothing new. Before contraception, women just carried on having babies until they no longer could.

[thisagain]

I had one in my 20's, one in my 30's and one in my 40's. I must say I blended in best in my 30's, but I've never really felt that I've stood out, to be honest.

[hiccupgirl]

Agree with fourage, my DM seemed very old and out of date when I was a teenager and she was 25 when I was born. She and my step dad were very set in the ways and were sliding into early retirement.

I'm the same age now (43) with a 6 yr old as she was when I was 18. I go on the slides with him, play make believe etc and hopefully will not seem so old when he is 18 as my DM did. But if he does think I'm very old and out of date then maybe that's a normal teenager thing?

And even though my DM had me relatively young, I still lost her when I was 20 and she was 45 so having children young doesn't guarantee anything.

[Runner05]

I'll be a month shy of 35 when my first arrived.
If you join the TTC#1 group at least half of the people there are in their 30s and us oldies beat most of the yunguns to conception

[queenoftheworld93]

35 is pretty standard I think! You will be fine.

On the other hand I'm 22 and expecting my first child, feeling like the youngest person within a ten mile radius of the pregnancy boards! I think few people have children this young these days.

[septembersunshine]

I had my first at 26, second at 29, third at 30 and now expecting again (last time!) and I'll be a few weeks away from 37 when s/he is born. I have to say, I feel a little older this time around compared to the other pregnancies but at the hospital (when they were taking booking bloods) the nurses said they often see women in their forties having their first or second. One of my friends is having her third at 42. Don't think about age (I think it's really quite average these days?!!) just enjoy every single minute. I now know how fast it goes. My first child will be ten when this one arrives. She was a toddler just yesterday and now she's nearly ten. I will savour every single second with this baby :)

[thesockgap]

I think it's totally normal these days to be an "older mum". When I was growing up, I felt like a total freak as my mum had been 41 when she had me so she was already in her 50s when I went to secondary school, where most of my friends' mums were still in their 30s. However, these days, it's more normal to be older than younger, if that makes sense?
My kids are 16, 12 and 9 - I'm 42 so I was aged between 26 and nearly 33 when I had mine. Most of the mums in my 9 year old's class are older than me (say 45-50), and can't believe I also have a 16 year old! Plus, for most of those women, the 9 year old is either their only or their eldest child, so I reckon they must all have been upwards of 36 when they had their first.
I must say, I would never have wanted to be an older mum myself - but I think that's because I'm biased due to my own childhood experience. There are plenty of women / couples in my circle of friends who have had their first baby at 40ish, it's no longer an unusual phenomenon!

[fourage]

"I have to say that being saddled with a mother in her 60s in my late teens, being as young as you feel was utter shite. She WAS her age. It catches up."

I had a mother who felt old when I was in my teens. She couldn't climb ladders, run, walk on walls or climb trees. I felt she was terribly old. My Mum had me when she was 25.

It's to do with attitude not age. I am in my late 50s. I go windsurfing with my 16 yo, we go out running and visit the gym together. I can run faster than both her and her 18 year old brother.

[PrancingQueen]

I had DS at 44 - he's now 3.
I'm a single parent too and have been since I told my arse of an ex I was pregnant!
Raised him alone and he's still the best thing that happened to me.
Like others have said, it keeps you young!

[HemlockStarglimmer]

Another old one here - I started to feel really grim the day after my 42nd birthday. A couple of weeks later I was trying to work out when my next period was due as we were going away for a long weekend and that's when I realised I was overdue. She's 11 now.

[YoJesse]

I actually think that your age is the normal. Out of my mum friends I was the only one in my 20s! Doesn't affect friendships though.

[MissRabbitHasTooManyJobs]

You're not too old at all!

I was 25 when has ds so was in the middle range group ( aged 29 ) when he started primary.
I was 33 when I had dd and she started reception last year. I was 37.

The age range is huge and it's the same school. Plus it seems there's been a baby boom here as normally our little primary intake is usually 20-25 and this year were full at 30.

My newest mum friend is 27 and I'm 38, it's not an issue.

Granted, there are more parents younger than me I would say but quite a few older.

My friend is 42 and her dc age range from 1/7/17/24.

Good luck and have fun trying

[liz70]

I was a fortnight off 39 when DD3 (now six) was born. You're not old at all!

[TwoLittleBlooms]

You are most definitely not an old mum! I had my dd2 at 35. We are now considering trying for baby number 3 (within the next couple of years) and I am going to be 37 in a couple of months. I had DD1 at 23 and I have so much more patience (well apart from at 3 in the morning when it is apparently playtime!) this time round. Most of my friends are also in their 30's and just having their first.

[Frecklesfrecklesfreckles4]

I had DC4 a couple of months after my 46th birthday,a week after DC1's 21st birthday. I really hope she doesn't resent having an "older" mum but she will have her siblings for support if DH and I die when she is relatively young. For us, with our family dynamic, it works and I don't find motherhood any more tiring than when I was in my 20s or 30s. I would say the average ageof mums at playgroup is mid to late thirties.

[newmalden]

I've just turned 37 and DS1 is due at the end of July. When I went for my first midwife appointment I asked about the implications of being an "older mother" - the midwife said that pretty much all of the mums to be that she saw were over 35 and it wasn't something I needed to worry about. Really put my mind at rest, so don't you worry either!

[TriJo]

I'm 31 and was the second youngest in my NCT group - most of the others were 35+. MIL had 6 kids starting at age 33...

[NeedsAsockamnesty]

Ive had a baby young, the type of young where they didnt let you be in a bed next to all the respectable mums just incase they catch a dose of the whore (midwives expression not mine).

Ive also done it in my 20's and my 30's and my 40's

By far the most stick out like a sore thumb one was the first closely followed by the second.

The 30's and the 40's are just normal

[G1raffe]

I wished I lived in some of your areas! Where I used to live I was "young" at 30 and youngest in nct group.

Where I live now most will have grown up kids by 49, maybe grandkids... I get called an older mum. It's so area dependent!

[Battleshiphips2]

I've got a 5 week old ds and I'll be 40 in a few weeks. Had my first when I was 31. I feel older but definitely not old. I am the second to last in a family of 8 so my mum was older when she had me. She is the best mum ever! I never thought of her as being older at all when I was growing up. She did more with us than some of my friend's younger mums.

[candykane25]

Oh and my 70 yr mum is way fitter than me, goes to yoga and swimming, is very fashionable, always pours me wine at her house, and fiercely independent.

[candykane25]

39 when DD was born. I call myself an older mum not old mum.
It's mostly pretty cool.
Drawbacks, she might lose me sooner than she would prefer.
But my dad was 25 when I was born and I was 40 when we lost him. 40yrs didn't feel long enough so I think whatever age I die she will wish she had me longer. It's the nature of things.
Perversely and completely unreasonably I don't want her to wait until 39 to have kids as I wouldn't be a grandma until I am 78! But of course I won't be letting her know this.
None of this crossed through my mind beforehand though.
The pros are that I've lived my life completely selfishly and put myself first until 39 so it's easy to dedicate my life totally to her now. Career, house, wish lists and so on have been fulfilled before she came along.