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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be worried about being an old mum?!

104 replies

ilovevegcrisps · 25/03/2016 20:09

Tell me I'm being really unreasonable! I feel bloody ancient compared to all the other TTC ladies!

OP posts:
needanewjob · 25/03/2016 20:53

Thanks ladies this is making me feel a lot better

hazeyjane · 25/03/2016 20:54

I had my first at 37 and 3rd at 41.

To be honest I am completely unaware of how old/you by friends are! It was my friends 50th birthday the other day our ds's are the same age (nearly 6) - I only know her age because it was 'a big birthday'!

iseenodust · 25/03/2016 20:55

Not old. I had turned 39 by the time DS arrived. A whole bunch of my friends (known since mid 20's) had children between 35-42yrs, all pregnancies went well & no IVF between them.

BeardMinge · 25/03/2016 20:55

Nobody in my nct group was younger than 35. I was almost 41 when DD was born, just started trying for no. 2 at the grand old age of 42. Mind you, I live in a particular part of London where fortysomething pregnant women seem to be the norm.

My mum was 39 when she had me, and my sil was 42 when she had my nephew.

I've only been referred to as dd's granny once so far and, tbf, my roots did need touching up at the time!

GizzyBoo · 25/03/2016 20:57

Currently 33 weeks and baby is due the week before my 40th.
You're not old Grin

stubbornstains · 25/03/2016 20:57

Ha OP, you spring chicken! I'm 42 with a 9 month old. But there are lots of threads in Conception for older women. I was on the "old birds" thread for over 35s, which came to a fairly abrupt end when the majority of us got pregnant in a short space of time Smile.

VocationalGoat · 25/03/2016 20:58

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

peachlife · 25/03/2016 20:59

Just had my first - she is 7 weeks and I am 37. I was the oldest of the 7 ladies (sorry!) at our NCT group - but only just. All the Mums-to-be were in their 30's. Doesn't worry me a jot!. I have been lucky enough to have the right baby at the right time for me - and that will be just the same for you I hope. Enjoy Smile

Tiggywinkler · 25/03/2016 20:59

I've just had DS aged 32 and was by far the youngest in my NCT group.

Age is just a number!

Birthgeek · 25/03/2016 21:01

First baby I caught was delivered by a 43 year old first time mum :)

I rarely support mums who are under 35, but that may be my particular demographic..

Earlyday · 25/03/2016 21:03

How old you feel depends on the age of the other mothers around you.

I live in a city and most people around where I live don't even start thinking about having babies until at least 30 - and many are 35 or anything up to 40 with their first. I was 30 with DS1. Currently pregnant and will be just turned 37 when I have this one. It feels like a perfectly normal age to be having a baby when others around me are too.

My DP is from a small town and his sisters had children in their 20s so I feel quite old compared to them. I think they view me as on the old side too!

Alasalas2 · 25/03/2016 21:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

guthriegirl · 25/03/2016 21:08

43 when I had my second. Have made friends with lots of mums. Most are early thirties but don't feel particularly out of place. All my close pals had their kids late 30s/ early 40s. Don't feel old but do look a bit more tired than I did pre kids Grin

StealthPolarBear · 25/03/2016 21:08

Goodness me I feel like a teenage mum!

Mousefinkle · 25/03/2016 21:09

I'm almost definitely youngest mum out of DS class's parents. They're almost all (I'd guess) late thirties- mid forties, he's six. So I wouldn't worry at all. No one bats an eyelid, perfectly normal.

SoThatHappened · 25/03/2016 21:10

Well my mum was 45 when I was born. If it comes to it I wont be following suit.

Having a pensioner mother of 61 when I was 16 was no fun at all and yes I noticed very much the generation gap at that age.

Pedestriana · 25/03/2016 21:10

Congratulations! You're still young. I am a fair bit older than you and have a 5 year old. It's exhausting, but great.

CatThiefKeith · 25/03/2016 21:11

I was almost 38 when I had dd. You'll be fine. I think I appreciate her more for being older.

Fingers crossed for a bfp soon. Thanks

angelicjen · 25/03/2016 21:13

I am 37 with a 7 month old and most of the mums I've met are the same age. Apart from my body feeling a bit battered I'd say it's the perfect age to do it :)

PacificDogwod · 25/03/2016 21:14
Grin

I was 37 when I had DS1, 44 a few weeks after DS4's birth.

I don't feel old and I don't have any regrets simply because the alternative to having my children late in life would have been to not have children. And that was never in My Plan - I feel very very lucky.

It has recently occurred to DS2(12) that I am older than many of his friends' mothers and he goes on and on about how OLD I am (his bolding, not mine Grin) that it had now become a running joke in the house. So, I am OLD and he is CLUELESS (my bolding!) or whatever other put-down I can think of.

It is what it is.
There's no arguing with biology, but being where I am now I'd not change a thing. Although I do feel outnumbered at times…

Good luck!

PacificDogwod · 25/03/2016 21:16

I think it simply IS exhausting to look after a baby/toddler, whatever age you are.
I am rather certain that I would have been a lot less patient if I had had children earlier.
Although if life had panned out differently, no doubt I would have TTC a bit younger, but hey ho.

shazzarooney99 · 25/03/2016 21:18

Omg at having a baby at 45, yikes.

jayho · 25/03/2016 21:22

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

29 with dd, 41 with ds1, 45 with ds2, currently 52, lone parent. It's fine, pregnancies and deliveries straight forward and I'm an 'normal' (not superfit) person.

I get tired but not overly. Sometimes I find it difficult to connect with other parents at school but in terms of parenting, it doesn't really impact. I'm a bit of a 'wise owl' to most mummy friends. I'd done it once at 'sensible' age and got back in the game at 'silly' ( my descriptions)

Late 30's/early40's does seem to be the new normal.

I also have a full-on career, we manage. I adore the small ones, bigger one is now a very useful babysitter Grin

Brummiegirl15 · 25/03/2016 21:23

Blimey you are a spring chicken!!! I was 39 when I had my DD

sleeponeday · 25/03/2016 21:27

35 when I had DS; 40 DD. And there is a mum at the school who had her son at 48.

You're not that far outside the norm these days, I think.

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