ExH refusing to give DC medicine

[StonedAndDethroned]

My DD has recently been diagnosed with ADHD. She has always had ADHD type behaviours (impulsivity/hyperactivity/lack of concentration).

She is 8 years old. Her father and I separated when she was 3.

The paediatrician has prescribed medication, after observing her in school and seeing her in the clinic. This is a tapered dose, so starting off at 10mg once a day then after two weeks, increasing to 20mg, then reviewed. this is to minimise side effects.

She started this two weeks ago, and was due to increase the dose today.

BUT

She spent five days with ExH who has refused to give it to her, so I now can't increase the dose after five days of no meds.

ExH and his GF claim that ADHD is a "toxicity issue" and that medicating her is "dosing her up"/"drugging her" with "toxins". They keep telling me that I need to cut all wheat, sugar and dairy out of her diet as that will make her better but I cant find any evidence or studies that support this, plus I am on benefits so it would be a very expensive experiment. They haven't tried this with her themselves.

What can I do? AIBU to take him to court? Or AIBU to not attempt this diet that ExH and his GF want me to? I feel so bullied by them that I honestly don't know if IBU.

Background
He was invited to the medical appointment but didn't attend.
He told me a few months ago that if I was overwhelmed and was unable to care for her (I'm a lone parent of three DC) then she would have to go into care as him and his GF couldn't cope with her. (They now claim that she is impeccably behaved for them but she always cries when she comes home and says that she has been in trouble)
He has recently cut his contact with her by 40% (due to work commitments), but will still have her every two weeks so will be able to repeatedly disrupt the tapered dosing by not giving it to her for a few days.
School have said that even with pre-tutoring post-tutoring and 1 to 1 support that DD is not retaining anything.

[StonedAndDethroned]

Brekekekex - it was the consultant who said to break the capsules open. There's little grains inside which are slow release themselves apparently.

I should do a paper/email trail.

I'm just so frustrated that he's not listening to reason and that he is using this as another opportunity to bully me, create conflict and cause me stress and anxiety.

I have a number of a good local family solicitor from another SEN parent, I'll be contacting them later for advice.

[Brekekekex]

Stoned - that's great, I hope you weren't offended by what I said. So many people aren't aware that the capsule can influence the effectiveness of the drug but I was torn as to whether to mention it! Your ex sounds like a controlling, lazy PITA

[GoblinLittleOwl]

Oh dear, this is the last thing you and your daughter need.

I can understand her father's concern about the use of these drugs, but as he refused to come to the consultation or discuss it realistically with you, this disruption of a medically prescribed course of drugs can be construed as child neglect and would provide grounds for restricting access.
(This happened with a father who refused to allow his daughter to wear her hearing aids; fortunately he eventually saw sense.)

Discuss this with the consultant ASAP and put everything in writing, dates, times, father's words, girlfriend's 'advice' etc. I would imagine the consultant will want another meeting, invite the father, in writing; if he still refuses to attend, pursue the issue via a solicitor.

[PregnantAndEngaged]

You can get a prohibited steps order (I think there is a new equivalent to that now, but it will do the same thing) which basically prohibits them from withholding medication. YANBU to do this; your child needs this medication to improve her condition and if they keep withholding it that's only going to set her back.

[TheFormidableMrsC]

I agree with PregnantAndEngaged...a prohibited steps order may be your most immediately available option. Speak to your solicitor about it when you see him today. This is a fairly simple process and everybody knows where they stand because the law says so