To buy a house I know a colleague wants?

[Height]

I live in a village, this means that the number of properties that come on the market are few and far between, it also means the ones in our price range are even rarer. We have been looking to buy since selling our home 7 years ago.

Before Christmas my colleague put their house on the market and put an offer on a property, in January their buyer pulled out so both properties are on the market. I know my colleague still wants to buy the other property.

Because the other property have somewhere they want to buy, they have substantially reduced the price on theirs. We can afford it now, and would love to buy it, but I feel I am doing the dirty on my colleague. We are not friends but do have to work together.

AIBU to go for this property? Or should I leave it and wait another 7 years for something else to come on the market?

[bettyberry]

Buy it. If the colleague really really wants the house you could sell it to them for a much higher price

[SquinkiesRule]

Do it. Make an offer before neither of you get it.

[ElsieMc]

Just buy the house. Years ago, we bought ours by sealed bid and a work colleague kept asking me what our maximum was. I wouldn't tell her because I felt it not just nosy and intrusive, but I had a bad feeling about her. Turns out her brother had also submitted an offer. I just held my nerve and if I got it, good, but if not well there would be others.

We did not submit the highest offer, but were living in rented with cash. Turns out colleague's brother had lied about his house being sold and was going to rely on a bridging loan. He would have got in a terrible mess because I bought from the Diocesan Board and it took us nearly six months to finalise matters because they had a meeting if you asked a question.

[SweetAdeline]

Buy it. But expect her to be unhappy about it. You know a lot about her situation for just colleagues. I wonder if she would consider you friends/confidantes. Also don't get upset if she gets an offer through on hers and gazumps you, presumably if she sells she'd be able to offer the original price.

[ChatEnOeuf]

Go for it! I want to see the house

[PittedOlive]

I can't believe this is an AIBU. Why wouldn't you put in an offer? Your colleague can't proceed at the moment, which is unfortunate for her, but in no way your responsibility - I can't believe anyone would wibble so much about this!

I live in a village too, and while we were renting, we wanted and tried to buy a lovely old house in the same village, but another offer was accepted (and we bought a soulless 1970s house). Obviously, it's a small place, and I see the purchasers of the house we loved all the time, as it's about fifty feet from where we live now, but what am I going to do, punch them?

[Sparklycat]

Buy it! You don't want to rent for another seven years!

[PitPatKitKat]

Hmm, we were in a similar position once (DH's former colleague, still friends, still worked in same professional area). It was a small town, not a village, so better property turnover, but not hugely.

DH talked to her and she said go for it, so we did. But he wouldn't have done anything if the conversation hadn't gone that way (and also he got the feeling she genuinely meant it). He would have been wary of reputational damage/losing a work contract in the future otherwise.

But it was a very close knit community, in which we were both incomers, even though he had been there for over a decade, whilst she was born and bred in the next town, so higher up the totem pole than us in some local people's eyes (and there it was very much like that there).

I think in a village, your address will be obvious, whether or not your colleague officially needs to know it.

So I would say proceed towards doing it, but be careful how you go about it so feathers aren't too ruffled, especially if you suspect that the reason that you are party to all this knowledge is that she is secretly hoping you will buy her house so they can buy their dream place... If it's a commuter village where people really don't know one another it's totally different than a close knit community.

[lalalonglegs]

Put in an offer but don't be surprised if your colleague gets an offer on her house soon and tries to get the house herself. Get a solicitor lined up this afternoon so you can start on the paperwork immediately and reassure the seller that you are serious.

[ExitPursuedByABear]

I trust you have put an offer in by now?

[Height]

To answer some comments

I knew about the house before colleague mentioned it as registered with all agents and on websites etc for alerts.

Colleague told the office (8 of us) about the offer and subsequent collapse so not to me personally. Commented on which house - we all knew anyway as either live in or around village and everyone knows what's going on anyway especially property.

Colleague's house much smaller than what we are both looking for but we weren't initially competing because a) we have been looking longer and b) their budget is larger than ours hence why they went for this property and although I was aware of it wasn't considering it.

I wasn't expecting the property to take such a drop (otherwise I'd have put an offer in), I think it's only cause they are so set on their next house they have "left" this one mentally and just want shot of it.

[whimsical1975]

You would be silly to let this go... we can never predict how things will pan out in life, for all you know your colleague or her partner could get a job transfer, or decide to move abroad, and they move out of the area anyway. If you had deliberately not offered on the house because you didn't want to upset her, and something like this happened, you'd be kicking yourself.

The time is right for you and not right for her. That's life. A house that's more suited to her may well pop up when she's in a position to purchase.

[PitPatKitKat]

That's all very interesting...do you mind if I ask whether you have some kind of social connection to the vendor also? Also I'm assuming this, but can I just double check that you're not in a system with a mechanism something like a a note of interest?

I ask because I would be tempted to think through whether something like this would work...approach both your colleague and the seller, and, alongside explaining a lot of what you've explained here (you've been renting for a long time, her house is too small for you otherwise you'd consider that, you're only thinking about his house due to the price drop, but you don't want to step on her toes/cause bad feeling wither) arrange something like this:

You and your colleague mind if you set a date in the (not to far) future- this is the cut off point for her having an offer on her house. If no offer by that point, you are free to make an offer yourself.
You then both approach the vendor and explain this situation, so they know they will have a buyer by a certain date (so they can go to the epopel they want to buy a house from etc).

However, I would also think through whether:

1. Doing something like this would make your colleague do something like aggressively cut the asking price on her house to attempt to meet the date
   
2. Would the vendor try to get you both to engage in a price war (although, maybe explaining that you are only in the bracket for the house because of the drop might forestall this)
   
3. Will the vendor withdraw the house from the market or go back to being able to wait for a higher price if their dream house also falls through.
   
4. Whether the connections you have to your colleague and the vendor are strong enough to facilitate this kind of arrangement
   
5. Whether you have anyone you can trust who knows either your colleague or the vendor better than you do.
   

Or a simpler way would be to try to find out a little more about the situation of you can, and then set yourself a time limit (e.g. if it's not sold by x date, then I will make a move).

Good luck.

[PegsPigs]

So have you put your offer in yet??

[Duck90]

To be honest and thinking about it. This doesn't sit easy with me. You have to live in the small community, work with her and amongst your colleagues who have heard her talking about this house. Its my personal thoughts, but I would feel buying the house in these circumstances would leave a bad taste. But I can over think things.

[blindsider]

Duck

You have over thought this. The OP has been looking for 7. Years, this house is on every web site. Her colleagues has had a failed purchase of it, it is now in OP's price bracket.
Just make an offer

[Duck90]

Blindsider
I probably am, but...to me, it seems underhand. I believe treat people as you want to be treated yourself.

if demand for this property, which meant a 7 year wait, was so high then it would already be purchased.

[Redglitter]

If the OP doesn't put an offer in chances are someone else well. Seems pointless for them both to miss out

[sleeponeday]

if demand for this property, which meant a 7 year wait, was so high then it would already be purchased.

Nope - she says the price has been substantially reduced because the seller's found a property they really want, so they've dropped the asking to secure a quick sale. OP can offer a quick sale - colleague can't.

I think you'd need to be bonkers to pass up on a house just not to offend a colleague, when it is now a bargain and someone else would jump at it instead so neither of these families will benefit. It's very plain that the seller is not prepared to wait for the colleague to find another buyer because the price has been slashed so as to entice someone else. That being the case, the OP should put her own family ahead of anyone else. After all, the colleague has a bigger budget, so would find it easier to buy something else anyway.

[BlueFolly]

Wow, this really is unanimous! Yes, buy it.

[StitchesInTime]

Duck I can't agree that this would be under hand.

If the OP was planning on gazumping her colleague, that would definitely be underhand. If the colleague was in a position where they could actually put an offer in (e.g. if they had a buyer lined up for their house) then OP putting an offer in too could possibly be seen as underhand.

But the colleague isn't in a position to be able to put an offer in. And the house owners presumably aren't prepared to wait for her to find another buyer, as they've reduced their price for a quick sale. The colleague's as good as lost the house already, even if OP does nothing.

[ThroughThickAndThin01]

I agree Duck. It deosnt sit easy with me either. House buying is the ultimate in emotion - you look at houses, you offer, it's accepted, in your mind you have moved in and are living the dream life. Then this is taken away from you,,and the person who is your colleague, and possibly friend - who heard you talking about this dream - has just stepped into your dream and swiped it from under your nose.

Of course they may be more generous than that in nature, but they may not. I think the OP should be prepared for a more difficult relationship. The very least I would expect if I were the colleague is some sort of a conversion from them making me aware they were interested in buying the house.

[blindsider]

Also there is no guarantee that it is only you and your colleague interested in it, you will feel pretty silly if someone else sneaks in and buys it. You can always sell it to her if you are feeling really bad (at the price she first agreed )

[ReginaBlitz]

Tbh it sounds like you just want it because it's the only thing available not because you love it. I wouldn't want someone's cast off forever home wouldn't feel right find your own.

[ProfGrammaticus]

Regina don't be daft, every home is "someone else's cast off" unless you buy a new build.