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AIBU?

To buy a house I know a colleague wants?

108 replies

Height · 19/02/2016 08:50

I live in a village, this means that the number of properties that come on the market are few and far between, it also means the ones in our price range are even rarer. We have been looking to buy since selling our home 7 years ago.

Before Christmas my colleague put their house on the market and put an offer on a property, in January their buyer pulled out so both properties are on the market. I know my colleague still wants to buy the other property.

Because the other property have somewhere they want to buy, they have substantially reduced the price on theirs. We can afford it now, and would love to buy it, but I feel I am doing the dirty on my colleague. We are not friends but do have to work together.

AIBU to go for this property? Or should I leave it and wait another 7 years for something else to come on the market?

OP posts:

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Sophie38 · 19/02/2016 09:18

Someone else will probably do it unless she will be in a position to offer very quickly, so it may as well be you - and then if things change, say you decide not to move after all, or whatever, you can offer it back to her.

It's difficult but surely if she was in a position to buy it, she would be offering on it anyway? And she isn't, so it won't matter who buys it.

bornwithaplasticspoon · 19/02/2016 09:18

Go for it. If it comes up in conversation and you feel awkward just blame it on your dh (I do it all the time) ... 'dh fell in love with it and I had to go along with him'

HicDraconis · 19/02/2016 09:19

Definitely put an offer in yourselves. They aren't in a position to go ahead, you are. If you don't buy it at the reduced price, someone else will and then neither of you will have the house.

You say you aren't friends but you do have to work together - regardless of who buys which house, she should be professional enough to be able to work with you. You don't have to be besties - and if my bff wanted to buy a house I also wanted to buy but I couldn't, I'd want her to have it (and to come and sit in her kitchen, drink her wine and bitch about her choice of colours :) )

HazelBite · 19/02/2016 09:19

Go for it, with nothing to sell you are an ideal purchaser!

eddielizzard · 19/02/2016 09:26

buy

mrshudson221b · 19/02/2016 09:28

Link to the house? I suppose that would be identifying. And yes buy it.

Cheby · 19/02/2016 09:35

Buy it. But then after getting gazumped ourselves on one property, we gazumped someone to buy our 'forever home' so I clearly have no morals. Or regrets.

Youarentkiddingme · 19/02/2016 09:35

You we this colleague nothing. Certainly not enough to give up your own home.

Put in a offer and the person who can provide the most capital - or may be in your case being end of chain - will be accepted as buyer.

Pseudo341 · 19/02/2016 09:36

Buy it. It's too big a thing to pass up just to avoid upsetting someone who isn't even a close friend.

I'd be inclined to tell her straight up once you've committed to it though. If she decides to hold it against you then so be it, but in a small village she's likely to find out anyway so it's best to just be open about it IMO. It's not like you're taking the house from her, it's a shame she can't have it but since someone else is going to have it it might aswell be you.

manicinsomniac · 19/02/2016 09:36

YANBU to buy it.

But I wouldn't do it. I'd feel mean and would be too scared of the fallout.

But that's ridiculous. As someone else said, someone else might buy it soon anyway.
Unless they're just reshuffling finances and resorting themselves before going ahead again and you would just be nipping in in front of them by a day or so.

If not letting her know where you live is at all a possibility though, I would hide it from her. Is there any way you could feasibly say you didn't know which house she'd been looking at?

UnGoogleable · 19/02/2016 09:37

Unfortunately all is fair in love war and the property market..

Exactly what I was going to say. Buy it, you don't owe her anything, and she isn't even a close friend.

Do you think she would think twice about buying it knowing you're interested? Doubt it.

You have no chain, you're the ideal buyers - the vendor will be delighted!

Good luck!

bumbleymummy · 19/02/2016 09:38

Have you put in your offer yet? :)

zeetea · 19/02/2016 09:45

Cheby gazumping is the worst, happened to us a lot, was it all you!

Buy it. The property market is a dog eat dog world, so get in there with your gnashers out.

blindsider · 19/02/2016 09:46

Frankly if I had been waiting 7 years for a house I would gazump my brother to get it

DartmoorDoughnut · 19/02/2016 09:49

Def buy it if you're able to. The other way of looking at it is your colleague is being unreasonable for trying to buy the house before you when you've been looking for so long

Lonelynessie · 19/02/2016 09:49

I'd buy it without a second thought. Do it!

Marcipex · 19/02/2016 09:51

Go for it, you'd be mad not to.

FannyFifer · 19/02/2016 09:51

Absolutely buy it.

Finola1step · 19/02/2016 09:52

We live in a town that lots of people from London move to. We, like many others, sold our house and moved to new town into a rental. Into a school catchment area that people really want. So we rented and waited for the right house to come up. Along with lots of other people. We finally bought the third house we had an offer accepted on. And we now know many of the people we were competing against. That is just how it goes. It is not personal and you shouldn't make it personal.

It is a house. Bricks and mortar in a spot you like. At a price you like. No big deal.

rageagainsttheBIL · 19/02/2016 09:52

Did you find out about it through her?

Would you be as interested in it if you didn't know She had tried to buy it at a higher price?

Assuming the answers are no and yes you are fine. Otherwise still fine but make sure it's the house you really want.

Katisha · 19/02/2016 09:58

It is not personal and you shouldn't make it personal.

Precisely

MadisonAvenue · 19/02/2016 10:08

I hope you've called the estate agent and put an offer in! If not, do it now!

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WeAllHaveWings · 19/02/2016 10:13

I would put an offer in but only tell them if it was accepted.

It is likely they will be disappointed about losing the house but if they are not in the position to buy it someone else will eventually so it might as well be you. Tell them that as kindly as possible but be confident you are not doing anything wrong.

timemaychangeme · 19/02/2016 10:15

buy it. It's too big a thing to be 'polite' over. We aren't talking about not taking a chocolate you know someone would like here. It's just the way of the world i'm afraid.

314Romaniac · 19/02/2016 10:17

yes, she can't afford it right now, you can.
I agree that you may not need to publicise your new address. Don't mention moving at all (hard I knw)

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