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AIBU?

To buy a house I know a colleague wants?

108 replies

Height · 19/02/2016 08:50

I live in a village, this means that the number of properties that come on the market are few and far between, it also means the ones in our price range are even rarer. We have been looking to buy since selling our home 7 years ago.

Before Christmas my colleague put their house on the market and put an offer on a property, in January their buyer pulled out so both properties are on the market. I know my colleague still wants to buy the other property.

Because the other property have somewhere they want to buy, they have substantially reduced the price on theirs. We can afford it now, and would love to buy it, but I feel I am doing the dirty on my colleague. We are not friends but do have to work together.

AIBU to go for this property? Or should I leave it and wait another 7 years for something else to come on the market?

OP posts:

Report

Pipbin · 19/02/2016 10:23

Buy it.
She is going to be someone you know for a few years and this is going to be your home for a long time.

hollyisalovelyname · 19/02/2016 10:24

OP did you find out about the house being for sale through her ?
If so, that puts a different slant on things.
How big is your workplace?
If there are just three of you , you buying the house of her dreams , that she told you about, might be a difficult situation.
We didn't go for a house because friends of ours wanted it - we could have fought it out at an auction- but my parents advised us not to ' no luck would come of it'- superstitious parents.
There were no other bidders at the auction so they got a bargain.

LadyStoicIsBack · 19/02/2016 10:27

Whether they lose their ideal new home is not actually something you can influence either way!

You can't influence the fact that their chain has broken down, and - pretty crucially given you want to buy the house! - neither can you influence the fact that it is now on the market again and WILL be snapped up pretty quickly by the sound of it...

So WTF are you waiting for given you can move (no pun intended) immediately???!

Get your skates on woman and then hurry up back here to tell us all about it

Whitney168 · 19/02/2016 10:29

I don't suppose your colleague would be hesitating in your position ... You're in a position to buy, they're not. If you don't, someone else will. Don't rub her face in it, but crack on.

MitchellMummy · 19/02/2016 10:30

They own a house ... you rent (I think) - fair sport for you to get (back) on the property ladder. Good luck.

MummaGiles · 19/02/2016 10:35

A colleague of DH's bought a house we had offered on. We bought somewhere else, doesn't bother is at all.

CantWaitForWarmWeather · 19/02/2016 10:40

Buy it. We're all in for ourselves. Your life and happiness is your main priority. She'll find another one.

Whotookmyruler · 19/02/2016 10:41

I bought a house that I subsequently found out my friend had put an offer in on (closed bid situation). People get over it. I would not worry.

DecaffCoffeeAndRollupsPlease · 19/02/2016 10:41

If you were thinking of withholding a bonus or pay rise or anything that would affect your colleagues ability to buy a house, for the purpose of buying it yourself - that would be unreasonable. In these circumstances, yanbu, she would buy it if she could, nothing to do with you that she can't - go ahead and make your offer. The house is up for sale, to anyone, she can only bagsy it by buying it herself, and I am sure that if she is a reasonable person, she will view the situation that way too.

SuburbanRhonda · 19/02/2016 10:43

Hoping the OP is on the phone right now making her offer

FishWithABicycle · 19/02/2016 10:45

Don't hold off. Buy it and don't feel bad. If you don't then someone else will and your colleague will still miss out and so will you.

Gobbolino6 · 19/02/2016 10:46

House buying is one of those things that brings out people's true colours...everyone is basically selfish and here it shows.
I expect your colleague will be funny with you about this.
That said, she very likely wouldn't get it anyway.

SwedishEdith · 19/02/2016 10:48

How did you find out she'd offered on it?

TheOptimisticPessimist · 19/02/2016 10:48

Buy it. No question. I'd feel bad about it, but if you love the house then needs must!

Movingonmymind · 19/02/2016 10:53

Yep, go for it. Been in similar situation over house purchase and while a very entitled friend said she didn't mind, she blanked us after and moaned to everyone about how we stole 'her' house. Ffs

Viviennemary · 19/02/2016 10:59

Just buy it. Anybody could come along at any time and buy this house. I don't blame you for feeling a bit guilty but you do have to put yourself first sometimes. If somebody else comes along and gets the house at a knock down price you'll regret it. Put in an offer now. I wouldn't talk to the colleague. Just say your partner put the offer in.

afussyphase · 19/02/2016 11:12

it's not a coat! (where you might reasonably expect to just buy a different coat if there was a colleague you knew was waiting to buy a particularly favourite coat...) Go for it.

FetchezLaVache · 19/02/2016 11:20

If your colleague is sensible, she'll take the view that this house was Just Not Meant To Be.

If she's really sensible, she'll realise (as you did) that the only way to do it in this particular village/price range scenario is sell your own, rent for a while and be a cash buyer.

Don't wait another 7 years! But maybe don't invite her to the house-warming party. :)

Whotookmyruler · 19/02/2016 11:29

The point is your colleague is not in a position to proceed with any purchase? How would you feel if you did not offer and then someone swooped in from outside the area and bought the house.

If you were trying to gazump them I would feel differently - but actually they can't buy this house at the moment?

NameChangeEr · 19/02/2016 11:34

Buy it.

If you don't and it's reduced, someone else will and neither if you will have it. Sales fall through and houses won't wait around for ever.
Please can we see!

SueLawleyandNicholasWitchell · 19/02/2016 11:37

Why shouldn't you have it? Buy it.

OVienna · 19/02/2016 11:43

So, something similar happened between two families at the DCs school...different because they were actually friends though and outright gazumping was involved...things got ridiculous between them, mutual friends asked to take sides. Is there any chance your colleague would think of you as a more of a friend you do? Is she a crazy badmouther type that would be moaning about you in the kitchen for months? I'm not saying don't buy it but maybe 'manage' the situation a bit if your offer is accepted.

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stumblymonkey · 19/02/2016 11:43

Buy it.

Keep schtum. Never invite them round. Never share your address

wickedwaterwitch · 19/02/2016 11:45

This is so British! (That we all get why it could be an issue )

I agree with everyone, buy it!

OhYouLuckyDuck · 19/02/2016 11:50

Go for it. All's fair in love and house buying.

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