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AIBU?

To be peeved at DH and DS going out this afternoon.

83 replies

redgoat · 17/01/2016 20:13

I've not been well. I'm a terrible patient so this may be clouding my judgement.

DH and DS watched the football here. As soon as it was finished, got DS to put his jumper on and said they were popping out. Wouldn't say where they were going. (He uses a stupid phrase similar to ' to see a man about a dog'.

They are still not back. DD is upset (and now in bed). I know where they are. They've gone to s local sporting fixture (the joys of being able to check payment pending on a joint account lol).

I'm pissed off. DD was initially worried (she's 8) and now upset they didn't take her. So am I. I wouldn't have wanted to go (I'm not well) but why the fuck not just say and take her?

OP posts:

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AnchorDownDeepBreath · 17/01/2016 20:47

They've just phoned to say they are on their way home and can I make DS a sandwich.

This would be hilarious, if it wasn't so tragic. It's like a line out of a terrible sitcom.

He buggered off out with one of your children, refused to tell you where he was going, presumably didn't check in at any point, and has now called to say that they are returning and you can prepare food?!

Tell him to fuck off, and learn how to be a decent human. If your DS wasn't with him, I'd lock him out. Who on earth does he think he is? Are you usually his skivvy?

I'm gobsmacked that he thinks this can ever be okay.

ProcrastinatorGeneral · 17/01/2016 20:48

Sunday evening and just finished? Ice hockey by any chance?

Your husband sounds like an utter dick.

Soooosie · 17/01/2016 20:48

What reason can he have to exclude DD

BathtimeFunkster · 17/01/2016 20:49

Bringing DD up to be the same.

He's not.

Leaving her at home like a little woman while he takes her brother to see a sport she likes

redgoat · 17/01/2016 20:49

No. He's normally very lovely. I'm the one that goes out more. It's the lack of information abs thought that's pissed me off here.

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SirBoobAlot · 17/01/2016 20:53

Agree with Bathtime.

BastardGoDarkly · 17/01/2016 21:03

That's exceedingly twatty, if DH wanted some time with DS one on one, he'd first talk to me, then DD about what they were doing, and what he was going to do with her and when.

He's been an arsehole to his daughter and to you.

I bet your DS was a bit as well.

redgoat · 17/01/2016 21:10

Haha. Procrastinator. I was trying to be subtle but yes, that's the sport. They're home. He's been given a piece of my mind. He gets why I'm annoyed and has accepted he should have told me. He'll be apologising to DD too.

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Eminado · 17/01/2016 21:15

Glad you have resolved but just out of interest, what did he have to say for himself?

I hope he feels bad because he should - that was mean.

RivieraKid · 17/01/2016 21:19

I do pick DH up on his everyday sexism whenever it rears it's head

Does it rear its head a lot?

hugoagogo · 17/01/2016 21:22

MrsTerryPratchett that was so depressing

redgoat · 17/01/2016 21:22

He started to try and justify it and say I'd been shit stirring by telling her where they were but (almost thankfully) a good few years ago he had a right go at me for coming home from a night out with the girls quite a few hours later than I'd said I'd be. He was really angry at the time saying about worry and emergencies yada yada.

I just pointed that out to him that he'd been quite right to have been angry all those years ago and that he's out of order for doing that to me now. And worse, he's excluded his daughter from something he knows she likes. I said a few more things but stayed calm and measured. He couldn't argue it. He knows he was in the wrong.

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Zucker · 17/01/2016 21:25

He actually accused you of shit stirring with your own child against him? Is he 12 and does he actually like you?

LottieDoubtie · 17/01/2016 21:27

Can I just clarify you are not 'a bit feisty'

On account of you not being a horse.

You were rightly pissed off and assertive with him. I hope you get an unreserved apology from him in the morning once he's had time to consider. If you don't I don't think I'd be letting this one drop.

redgoat · 17/01/2016 21:28

Yes he does. He was trying to deflect blame from himself because he knew he was in the wrong. It doesn't mean he's abusive. Just that he's been an idiot today.

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Eminado · 17/01/2016 21:29

"He started to try and justify it and say I'd been shit stirring by telling her where they were"

So it was deliberate?!

BathtimeFunkster · 17/01/2016 21:31

But why was he so mean to his daughter?

That kind of sneaking off to exclude is a type of bullying.

How hurt and left out she must feel to know that her father sneaked off with her brother to something she would have loved.

I genuinely can't get my head around a parent being so nasty to their own kid.

clam · 17/01/2016 21:48

Strip this one down and what are you left with? Your dh thinks that it was OK to just take his son to watch ice hockey and not his daughter, even though he knows she enjoys it.

How's he going to explain that one to her?

pootlebug · 17/01/2016 21:53

I'm assuming he wanted some one-to-one time with his son, and will be taking his daughter to the ice hockey next home game. And telling you where the fuck he is going.

TendonQueen · 17/01/2016 21:54

Agree with everyone else that this was unfair and unnecessary. And I hope they both made their own bloody sandwich when they got back.

Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost · 17/01/2016 22:07

I'd make a sandwich for your DS. He's only 11 years old. Just a child. Theres no blame on his part. Your DH I'd be telling him to make his own sandwich. Married or not. You're not his fucking skivvy. I'm sure he knows his way to the kitchen. I'd also be having a very long conversation with him as well about making more of one child than the other. That's very poor form.

DeAtHnOtE · 17/01/2016 22:10

But why did he leave your DD out?

Everyone has a few choice arsehole moments, it happens. Thinking you're being funny when you're not, not thinking etc. But leaving one child out of something they like is just horrid.

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RB68 · 17/01/2016 22:13

So he snuck out and knew he was doing wrong by not telling you properly, involved his son in colluding with him, finally phoned or got his son to phone as he was chicken, there was then the expectation to make a sandwich as he had not fed child while out. Really he is grown up?? and yes you get next weekend to yourself while he sorts out kids, plans something all together as a treat etc. As to making it up to his daughter he needs to think on that one and come up with a solution himself

StayWithMe · 17/01/2016 22:17

My main concern is the example he's setting to your son. Don't respect your wife enough to say where you're going and don't treat your daughter as an equal. At eleven years of age he's certainly l enough to follow his father's example.

SuperCee7 · 17/01/2016 22:19

I don't see the big deal? Surely it's nice for your OH and son to have some one on one time? As long as DD gets some too.

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