wibu to keep my 9 year old off school after late home?

[FarterChristmoose]

Hi my 9 year old son went on a school trip on Wednesday, they were supposed to be home at 5PM but they got stuck in a motorway crash and didn't get back to school until 10.45. My husband then drove 2 of his friends home to save their single mums having to come out so late with younger children. DS eventually got to bed at midnight and was up at 7 for school. He usually goes to sleep at so lost 4 hours sleep. He was so tired, lots of tears so I kept him off and he went back to sleep until 9am then rested all day.

At school today his teacher took me to one side and said she was disappointed he didn't go school and everybody else did.

Wibu to have kept him off? Hes still very tired today!

[TreadSoftlyOnMyDreams]

Didn't he sleep on the bus at all ?

I'd have sent him in, a bit late if I didn't have to be at work.

[WishICouldThinkOfACoolUsername]

In some schools I know of, there is a rule where if a student is absent for no "good" reason in that sort of situation then they aren't allowed to participate in the excursion the next time. I think YWBU - in addition, the school would possibly feel that you had exacerbated the situation by dropping off the other children (which was very kind) when you obviously already know your own DC was going to struggle with tiredness.

[HanYOLO]

Going against the grain and I would say YANBvU, you are the best judge of what your DC needs for their well being. I probably would have let him have a bit of lie-in and taken him in after lunch - if it were affecting him that badly and if my working life allowed me to.

[Gobbolino6]

I understand why you did it, but at 9, I'd have taken him in.

[Alisvolatpropiis]

I think ywbu

[Whatthefreakinwhatnow]

Good grief, one late night isn't going to kill him! Would you let him have the day off for a cold too?!

By the time he got to schill he would have woken up a bit and be fine.

My DD1 would never have a day off school for this. She's part of a big event in March in London, expected to arrive home at midnight- she'll be in school on the following day. She can then have an early night if she needs it to catch up.

[verite]

We had a very late journey back recently due to flight delays. Got back at 3.30 am and my 5 year old had not fallen asleep until we got in the car at 2.30! I let him sleep in the morning and took him in at about 11. I don't really think there was any need to keep your son off after he woke up.

[ConesOfDunshire]

It would have been reasonable to allow him a lie-in. Was there a reason why you couldn't have taken him in mid-morning?

[Jibberjabberjooo]

Why didn't you just take him in later?

[ChazsBrilliantAttitude]

I would have sent him in late. No need for him to miss the whole day.

[SevenOfNineTrue]

YABU. Your son needs to learn and cope with the fact that you don't always get a good or a full nights sleep before school or work.

[upthegardenpath]

I don't think you were totally unreasonable, but maybe he didn't need to miss an entire day.
My 8 yo needs her sleep and is grumpy as hell if she doesn't get enough sleep on a school night.
In the past, after a bad night, I let her sleep in and took her into school later than usual. I also 'phoned the school beforehand to let them know she'd be in a little later than usual. I'm talking after morning play, so at about 10.30am.
They were fine with that as it has only ever happened twice in 3 years.

[AnotherEffingOrangeRevel]

Nah, YANBU.

We've all got screwed up priorities around here. Sleep's much more important than a day of school.

[TheSecondViola]

If he was crying and sleeping half the day after one not particularly late night, I'd be thinking about a drs visit, because that is not normal.

[EdithWeston]

I'd have taken mine in at the usual time, but warned the teacher of the potential consequences (in my individual child) of disrupted sleep, and ask to be rung to collect if not coping with the school day.

If your individual child needed to sleep in, fair enough. But after he'd woken spontaneously at 9ish I do think he should have gone in for the rest of the day.

[DanishBlue]

YABU, he is 9 not 9 months old. All the kids were tired, the teacher would have expected less from them as a result, they would all have been whiny together at school, you have reinforced the attitude that it is OK for him to be precious and not to have adapt to external situations and be a little bit uncomfortable.

[NewLife4Me]

YABVU children should be in school unless ill or told not to go, what would happen if they all had stayed off.
Sometimes mine weren't home till gone midnight if working, she still has to be in school as they expect them too, and they start at 8.30.

[cannotlogin]

so....the teacher got into school at 8am (possibly earlier) and was on duty till 10:45pm. Presumably you expected her in school the next day?

[MoMoTy]

Yabu and so silly to do this. Also you made him seem a bit precious that he needed a full day to recover. Why didn't you just take him in a bit late. It's not like he was recovering from a bout of illness to have treated him that way.

[InternationalHouseofToast]

DS's school has recently had a choir concert and got home at 11pm. The children were allowed to come into school late, to arrive in morning break. If your DS was awake at 9am, he had no need to be resting for the remainder of the day and should have gone into school a bit late.

[NotMeNotYouNotAnyone]

Yabu, he had 7 hours sleep, he would've coped once he got there

[Notso]

I wouldn't have done this, though I might have let him sleep longer and maybe been a bit late for school if he was still sound asleep at 8:30 for example.
I assume he didn't sleep all day long so an early night would have sufficed.

[BetterthanEE]

At our school.they would have said 'let them sleep in, but have them here by lunch time' they did it a couple of times over Christmas with late trips and productions.
I think ywbu to keep him home the whole day, especially as he was up at 9.

[madmotherof2]

I think unless there was a reason that a lack of sleep would cause problems then I would have just taken him in a little late

[Goingtobeawesome]

I feel a bit sorry for the OP. She wanted reassurance and had been told she is silly.