To get frustrated that my friend doesn't seem to get that not everyone is well off like she is?

[MagazineAddict39]

I have known my friend since secondary school. She is fundamentally a nice person but, having married a rich man several years ago, she has become very judgemental about others and doesn't seem to get that not everyone is rich! She wasn't brought up in a poor household but they weren't wealthy either, just standard for the area in which we lived.

Obviously as she is married to a wealthy man she has a huge house with a pool, lots of luxurious holidays, a full time nanny, a personal trainer, lots of gorgeous clothes etc.

Which is great, but she is then very judgemental about those who don't have those things. For example the other day her Facebook status was along the lines of "Having children doesn't hold me back, I still travel, dress up, and do things that I want to do. No excuses for not doing these things". Well 1) she has the money for travel, and by travel she means 5 star hotels round the world, she can dress up and look great as she has posh clothes and expensive shoes and goes to a top hairdresser, plus she has the nanny full time so of course she can go off and do as she pleases.

She is also always doing statuses about how she would not wear cheap shoes, that kind of thing.

And now she is pregnant with baby #4, which as with her other 3 she is having at a private hospital. Brilliant, I don't blame her. However she is being extremely snooty about NHS hospitals saying she is glad she is having her baby at a nice place and that she would hate to be in an NHS hospital as they are full of germs and she'd have to share a bathroom with others. Which are fair points but it's not nice of her to repeatedly point these things out as obviously private antenatal and birth care is not accessible to many.

Like I said, she is a nice person, and I think she just lives in her own bubble, but I really do get frustrated about how she does not seems to think that everyone has the same circumstances as her.

[BathtimeFunkster]

whilst women tear into each other for their lifestyle choices the men are just...getting on with it and not giving a shit.

Yeah good old men, just "getting on with" enjoying all the wealth and power they take as their due, maybe doing a bit of raping and sexual assault, possibly beating or killing a partner.

They're not the worst enemy. It's other women, the nasty bitches.

[hmcReborn]

Talk about wilfully misreading the intent and meaning behind a remark!

[Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost]

She's married to a rich man, so married into money. Not earned through sheer hard work and determination. I bet she's the type of sahm who calls single parents who don't work.
Nice person, more like judgemental arse hole of a snob whose clearly forgot where she came from.

[Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost]

Who's not whose

[Pythonesque]

Haven't read the whole thread, but ...
Years back when I was working in London I heard some serious horror stories about private hospital maternity care and what happened if things went wrong (which will happen in a proportion of labours no matter what, which is why you need to monitor and decide when to look more closely and / or speed things up or intervene). NHS neonatal care very much having to "pick up the pieces" of things that should have been better managed. No-one I knew would have gone to a private hospital for delivery under any circumstances.

[Crazybaglady]

To me, it sounds like she doesn't really belong anywhere and is desperately trying to for in/ feel superior somewhere.

She probably experiences snobbery from other wealthy couples who either see her as a disposable asset to her husband or 'my yacht is bigger than your yacht' type competitiveness among them so is being boastful as a way to fit in better with them

At the same time has a bit more difficulty with her old bunch as they may not be able to go on holidays as much or with her, have other commitments such as work or family so she tries to make herself sound more busy and important.

I've met women like her before. One was a close friend who I met through our children. She has married an incredibly rich businessman with a penchant for the white stuff before we met. She was thrown into a wealthy lifestyle and she was incredibly boastful about her houses, holidays, lifestyle, clothes ect. None of it was her own money and she made the assumption that people were poor becuase they didn't talk about money. She was quite taken back when she found out that I come from an astronomically rich family, because I'd never spoken about it to her and have always worked and been prudent. It wasn't my money so wasn't mine to boast about.

Her husband ended up getting a bit carried away with the white stuff, they ended up bankrupt and lost everything, and it turns out he's physically abusive to her too.

[DeoGratias]

In fact in terms of birth safety particularly for second and further babies with no obviously complications my safety list is

1. Home
   
2. Good City NHS hospital
   
3. Private hospital

[Badders123]

Ha, I'd love to demolish the patriarchy, but...you know....I'm quite bit busy?
Do you really think men care if their children are bf or ff? When they are weaned? What sort of nappies they use?
No.
And they certainly don't judge each other for it.

[BathtimeFunkster]

Ha, I'd love to demolish the patriarchy, but...you know....I'm quite bit busy?

Busy reinforcing the patriarchy by making misogynistic comments about how a woman's "worst enemy" is other women, because they are such a bunch of bitches.

It really is extraordinary claim that the worst thing that happens to women is being judged by other women.

Yes, forget all the ills visited upon women by men - forget the rapists and the abusers and the murderers, the men keeping women out of positions of power, making it so hard to prosecute rape that it is pretty much legal unless you extremely foolish or unlucky.

No, the enemy of women is other women who think breastfeeding is important.

[sparechange]

She sounds desperately insecure
The old adage 'money talks, wealth whispers' seems appropriate.
I wonder if she feels like a bit of an outsider amongst her husbands crowd and is overcompensating by being so braggy and gauche?