Ok I think I probably was. But I'm exhausted.
Dd2 has zero contact with her father (through a court order). She is 5. I don't have much in the way of support from family or friends. I love the bones of her but find her completely fucking exhausting. Because I'm all she has our relationship is very intense and I find it hard to cope with sometimes.
She can't bear it if I talk to other people, for example if I'm sitting talking to a friend she will physically stand in between us and block the conversation, having to tell me something super urgent about shopkins or something, that apparently can't wait. She does this whenever I try to talk to anyone. Same goes for conversations on the phone, she'll go from not wanting to speak to me to all of a sudden having 1001 urgent things to tell me.
Tonight's particular episode - we have been out all day together doing stuff, she's had my full attention. I start talking about bedtime and she tells me she wants to sleep in my bed. I told her no (because she is a complete pain in the arse to sleep next to), I'm tired and just want a night in my own bed without being kicked etc every thirty seconds. So she goes nuclear at this, which started the next power struggle of trying to get her up the stairs. I went upstairs and asked her to come up, after various threats etc she made it, but after cleaning her teeth she claimed to be incapable of walking the last 2 metres to her room. She wanted me to carry her and I said no because I had a bad back. Cue 5 minutes of her screaming at me, so I told her if she wasn't in her room by the time I counted to 3 she wasn't getting a story. She gave me a defiant look, I counted to three, then put her in bed and turned the light off and left her screaming. She's asleep now but I feel like a shitbag.
It's like this a lot of the time. Endless power games and her trying to dictate what happens. Probably quite normal 5 year old stuff but what's hard is the endlessness of it. She goes to school and I miss her, then I pick her up and within half an hour she's driving me nuts. I am studying so even when she's at school I don't get time to myself. I can't think about having a relationship, partly because I'm depressed and not in the right place, and partly because I hardly ever get any time away from her so it's not logistically possible. I've accepted that's just how it is but bloody hell its hard work doing this 365 days a year.
AIBU?
To have lost my shit with dd2?
Littlefluffyclouds81 · 25/10/2015 21:33
My DS is like this.
We get tantrums just like the one you describe, followed by ridiculous arguments. I'll say "do you want a kiss & cuddle?" He'll sulk at me and say "no" then when I go to leave we get "I want a caaaaaaaddle" wails. If I go back to him then he'll refuse again. And it continues. He gets one chance now. And he still hasn't learned.
He has, however, got better in time. The tantrums are shorter and he can be back to chirpy after some time to calm down. But I get the guilt too - but going to him and entering into his game/argument only prolongs the trauma.
However, he hasn't had an experience like the 'kidnap' you describe. Maybe your DDs behaviour runs deeper. Not that this means there might be a better way of dealing with it.
Sometimes I tell myself that DS feels safe to behave so disgustingly. I don't know how true it is, but he doesn't do it for other people (nursery, school, grandma, etc).
You're doing ok as far as I can see. 
Indomitable - 
she does that ALL the time! Drives me insane.
You didn't lose your shit - trust me!
If she's generally a child who is demand avoidant have you thought of giving her choices to get her to co operate? Like "pyjamas on first or teeth first?"
Then carry on as before - "DD you've been given your choice of what first, if you do them now you'll have time for a story" then walk away. There needs be no more comment from you.
Very sorry to hear about the kidnapping. I'm sure this affected both of you. I'm sure being firm with DD is hard great you after that - but is in both your best interests tat you are 
I missed my last oneTomorrow when things are calm you could say to her "When you didnt get ready for bed last night you made me cross and you ended up missing your story! Tonight when you get ready for bed nicely and quickly we will habe lots of time for a story!"
That way you are reinforcing that you did the right thing by ignoring her but that she can do the right thing in future and have her story!
I have 3 fiesty girls and know how tricky they can be!
Good luck
It doesn't sound bad to me...
My 7 yo DS is a bit like this. We think it is linked to belated jealousy over his sister. We have started "us time" where one of us sits with him and does something he wants before bed. It has made a difference.
I appreciate there is only you (so all the time is 'us time').but the act of telling her you are doing something together might help? Could you do the teeth first, so there are less things to battle over?
We.moved DS' shower to the am to remove the stress from bedtime (thanks to a suggestion to helpful MNtters).
I also think with my DS a lot of his/our issues comes from expectations. He expects y to happen and when x does, it really throw him. Could you talk her through the evening, so it is clear what is happening?
Also, I count to 10 with DS, he generally needs that long to process the thoughts and decide whether or not he is going to comply!
I feel for you. It is not nice when they go to bed on a 'sour' note. And doing it alone must be v difficult - you are doing your best - remember that.
Sorry but I think you did the right thing and my son did similar 4wks ago, he was told consequences of not going to the loo /brushing teeth as asked. He didn't listen and I followed through and he lost storytime - cue lots of tears.
The following day was much better, take heart 
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