To be peeved at £80 class kitty demand by class rep??

[Mrbrowncanpoocanyou]

I am pretty annoyed by this. DS is in an independent school and we can just about afford the fees. A demand was sent for £80 quid per child (10 kids on the class). £800 for gifts for teacher, TA, gifts at Christmas, flowers as a thank you after the class nativity seems ludicrously exorbitant. I would much rather buy our own presents but I feel as if I will end alienating myself and ds if we don't pay. There was no mention of it being voluntary. I don't know if this standard in schools?

[scarlets]

I would just say that I'm doing my own thing Christmas present-wise.

I'd probably offer to donate a fiver towards the nativity flowers, but only because I quite like this idea, knowing how much effort goes into organising school plays. Christmas plays are one of my fondest childhood memories - I loved the rehearsals and the evenings themselves - so I've a bit of a soft spot!

[Pythonesque]

Agree absolutely with above comments. Perhaps suggest that a school-wide parents association should be fundraising if they want larger sums? ...

[AliceAnneB]

Are you in London? It seems to be a fairly common amount at independent schools for
gifts but if you want to do your own gifts I'm sure the class rep won't mind. Would it cover gifts for the whole year including end of year for both teacher and TA?

[Caprinihahahaha]

It's nonsense. I've had children attend 5 different independent schools in expensive Surrey and never been asked anything approaching that amount.

I have declined to contribute for the last few years as there seems to be a high proportion of class reps who want their child to be the one to hand over a bunch of flowers and incredibly dull gift.
I ask DD if she wants to get a gift and if she does then we gets something she chooses. Last time she wanted to get a gift for her pe teacher instead. I thought that was nice as the pe teacher does all the Saturday and evening stuff but, not being a class teacher too, rarely gets anything.

[Mrbrowncanpoocanyou]

Thank you all for your responses. I feel you gave me a good insight across different school settings.

[DoJo]

I would be inclined to approach the teacher and ask if they were aware that this was going on - I'm sure they are not, and perhaps they might be in a position to reign in this batshit crazy overzealous class rep before they start to create problems for everyone.

[LyndaNotLinda]

Surely the idea of clubbing together to buy a gift is to cut costs for everyone rather than buying ridiculous lavish presents? I agree with not saying sorry but just saying that you're organising your own thing.

[Therewasanoldladywho]

Jesus. I'm glad we've decided to home-ed. This is absurd.
YANBU at all!

[KatieLatie]

Not common (DS is also at an independent school) - is it a particularly posh posh independent school (one of the top London ones?).

At Christmas and end of Summer term, class rep organises a card and a collection (people contribute what they like or not at all) and people also give their own cards/presents (or not). It is completely up to the parent.

Generosity is great, but it should be individual choice.

[MrsSchadenfreude]

Surely the correct MN response to this should be "Are you on glue?"

Never been asked for anything approaching this much. Was asked to contribute £10 once towards heaadmaster's retirement present (£5 per child) as they wanted to buy him a chair that he coveted.

I don't do gifts for teachers, unless they are utterly fabulous, and then they are very personal - eg a bottle of Champagne and a Jubilee mug saying "Sixty Years A Queen" for DD1's very, very camp maths teacher who was retiring. (I knew him very well, and knew this would go down well with his sense of humour.)

[Tomatoesareyum]

At our independent school it's £45 a year and that makes me feel sick but I reluctantly join in

[Viviennemary]

That is a totally excessive amount and unnecessary whether people can afford it or not. I'd refuse. I agree it sounds like a figure plucked out of the air by some rich kid that has no idea of thevalue of money.

[BoffinMum]

This is nonsense and certainly not typical for the sector. Presents are not normally expected and when I worked there the most valuable present I was given was a bottle of entry-level champers by the (two) children of two very well-to-do lawyers. Any normal teacher would be happy with a nice card and a poinsettia if you want to make a gesture. £3 towards a bunch of flowers after a play when the teacher has given up extra time to help the children might be reasonable as well.

[BoffinMum]

I think some people have lost all sense of the value of money, by the way.

[ilovesooty]

I'd tell them you're doing your own thing and take this demand to the head teacher. I can't imagine why he or she would condone this.

[LIZS]

We paid £5 a time at prep, now we might give a bottle. I have heard of secondary teachers being given iPads though.

[Mrbrowncanpoocanyou]

Thanks. Good to know I'm not the only one who thinks it is bonkers.

[peppansalt]

ridiculous. My DC are in an independent school and we have never been asked to contribute money. Everyone does their own thing

[WorraLiberty]

That's an absolutely ridiculous amount of money, although it's not actually a demand is it?

I would politely decline and just get on with buying my own gifts if I wanted to.

[Kent1982]

I hope this is not out of term but when did this whole gift buying start its rediculous. In my job I do get gifts throughout the year from individuals I've helped but I feel uncomfortable with it as I'm actually doing my job and don't feel I deserve a gift for doing my job the best I can. That's what I get paid for. I also feel guilty people spending money on me. I love a nice thoughtful card more than anything never mind the gifts. I would be happy with a no gift policy.

Personally I think it's a rediculous culture of buying gifts for gifts sake it's even getting competitive. Obviously major reasons are an exception like retirements competition wins.

[Scholes34]

My goodness, what are they thinking of buying?

[Waltermittythesequel]

Is it £800 for one teacher???

If, at the start of school, I was asked to donate €80 and that would cover presents for the year for a few different people I'd say fair enough as it would save me the hassle of trying to find presents.

[Alfieisnoisy]

Blimey that's a huge amount.

I always got a little something for DS's teachers but he is autistic and I know how hard they work with him,

£80 is ludicrous though.

[catfordbetty]

A card made and signed by the children for teacher and TA plus a bottle of wine each from the parents is plenty, IMO. Next year, OP, volunteer to be class rep yourself and offer to get it all sorted for £20.