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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think swimming lessons are the biggest rip off ever

74 replies

thinkingmakesitso · 02/10/2015 21:27

I have two dc and they seem to be so far behind their peers at swimming. One is 8 and the other 6 and they are on stages 3 & 1 respectively. Both seem to be stalling and I just hate the way I seem to spend so much time in a sweltering leisure centre, exhausted having rushed home from work to watch them half- heartedly pittling about in the pool. The alternative is to spend half the weekend doing the same. And that is without mentioning the expense...

DS1 in particular hates it and kicks off pretty much every fucking week about going. He does all that is asked of him in there, but just seems to be getting nowhere. Ds2 doesn't really focus, despite the numerous conversations we've had, and just seems to float around.

They had no lessons for 6 months last year after my marriage broke up and I was worried about money, and it seems it has set them back massively, though they've been back at it since spring. There is huge waiting list for one-to-one lessons and I don't think I could afford the amount we'd need anyway. I know I should take them more at weekends, but we have so many other things to do at weekends it is really hard to fit it in.

I may be over dramatic, but swimming seems to take up a large chunk of our leisure time, and should be taking up more. Will the end never be in sight.

OP posts:

sandgrown · 03/10/2015 00:15

I never learnt to swim as my parents could not,swim so never took me. When we went with school I just about learnt to do a width but I really envied the confident swimmers. In all my holidays I never had the confidence to swim anywhere I could not touch the bottom. At the age of 50 I took myself for lessons and have improved so much. I was determined all my children would learn to swim and they are all very good swimmers. They were able to go to the pool with friends without me worrying too much. I definitely think it is worth the effort.

ohtheholidays · 03/10/2015 01:11

Does they're school provide any swimming lessons at all?

All 5 of our DC have done swimming with they're schools,the primary and secondary.

We never went in for paid swimming lessons for the children,they all learnt quite early on just by splashing and playing about in a local pool with me and they're Dad.I know you've said you can't swim,do they have grandparents,an auntie,uncle or maybe a family friend that would help out and take the children swimming once a week?

Years ago my Mum used to take some of my nephews and nieces swimming once a week and I'd go along to help out,a few of them learnt to swim that way.

TheNewStatesman · 03/10/2015 02:04

It sounds like you are frustrated with the situation because it's just not quite working for you.

Some group lessons are indeed pretty rubbish and the kids may learn next to nothing.

My advice:

Just take a break for a couple of months and catch up on all the things that you have been missing out on.

And then put them in for some private lessons--an intensive course. Ask around to find an instructor whose approach is what you want.

It sounds like you as a family are not interested in Serious Swimming and all the bloody strokes, you just want them to be able to do one stroke well and be safe and strong in the water. Sounds good to me. Get an instructor who will drill them efficiently in one stroke and get them good at it. They can always add in other strokes later on, IF they are interested.

Once they have made some progress this time round, just go with them at least twice a month (does not have to be every week IMO). And do another short burst of private lessons every now again--once a year, say.

Sighing · 03/10/2015 02:55

I definitely recommend an intensive course to get them keen / noticing their own improvement. My youngest (7) had a year of lessons, with little change to her confidence (would not jump in would not put her face in the water -cried about lessons). Two weeks on holiday with our own pool and she's a different child. She loves her lessons and is trying to help another child who will not jump in to overcome that fear.

Neddyteddy · 03/10/2015 03:21

Go for 1:1 seriously. Your kids will need a limited number of lessons only and will make super fast progress.

Once they are stage 4, they all seem to swim together at the same time in lessons. So group lessons at level 4 are ok. Stage 1 2 3 require kids to spend most of the lesson waiting for their turn and very little time actually being tutored.

PenelopeChipShop · 03/10/2015 06:39

I feel for you OP, I think maybe the quality of lessons varies a lot tbh...

I just have one DS at the mo and he's only 3 but I take him on my day 'off' work and I have to agree the level of time and hassle involved for 30 minutes' splashing about is questionable. I was blaming myself for not having taken him to those Aqua Baby super-expensive underwater photography thingies from 4 months old, but I think actually it's just surprising how long swimming takes to learn.

We're still in the under 3s 'baby' class even though he's over 3 and I can't wait for him to graduate so I don't have to go in the pool!

I think you should be nice to yourself and maybe focus on another hobby for a while if none of you are enjoying it. You're having a tough time at the mo, still adjusting to being a LP - you can't do everything. Just relax a bit, make sure you're all enjoying your leisure time (as far as possible!) rather than getting stressed out.

noeffingidea · 03/10/2015 07:00

I learnt to swim after 9 group lessons. I loved it and had an aptitude for it.
One of my children just never really learnt although he had 30 lessons with the school. He refused further lessons. He hates it, doesn't see the point ,and never goes anywhere near the water.
Swimming may be a 'lifeskill' but most people are never really going to get to that level anyway. I swim regularly, you see plenty of people who can swim but would they be able to swim to safety in a real life situation? Probably not.
I would just leave it if they hate it.

Ledkr · 03/10/2015 08:34

I have never paid for a lesson in my life.
My five were all swimming without aids by 2.
All I did was start them early and go often.
We are lucky to have a beautiful open air pool near by so summers ate spent there, the little pool is shallow enough for them to stand up in from toddlers at the shallow end and I think that is how they all learnt to swim.
It's all about frequency and confidence I think.
Dd is 4 and swims around 20m now.

Kampeki · 03/10/2015 08:39

My dd is not a fish by nature, and swimming did not come easily to her at all. She made very little progress in group lessons, week after week. However, I think 1:1 swimming lessons have probably been one of our best investments ever. It's fantastic to see how much she has come on since we started these.

Hissy · 03/10/2015 10:17

So their dad only sees them on Sundays? If he could make time to be a parent during the week, perhaps he could take over the swimming duty?

Otherwise if you have school holidays off, then absolutely get them into an intensive class for a week and see how they improve.

You should learn to swim yourself too, then you'll be able to take them on holidays to pools and supervise them in the sea.

I know you're still reeling from the split, but you can do this parenting lark. Make your ex do more of his share.

You could use help in term time, you have the school holidays covered, which is usually the tough but.

Eva50 · 03/10/2015 10:19

We ditched the lessons for ds3 and he and I joined a gym with a pool which cost little more for us both. I haven't yet seen the inside of the gym but we go one night after school and a Sunday lunch time. He also gets a free sports class one night a week. We also go every other day in the school holidays and occasional wet Saturday's. If you could afford it then it's well worth it.

Hissy · 03/10/2015 10:19

Cancel the classes until the summer, then book intensive classes. Use the time in the mean time to learn to swim yourself. Get their dad to look after them while you do this for you.

I have swimming lessons myself and as a single parent with a useless ex I really enjoy the me time. It's the first I've had. ds is nearly 10.

ItsAllGoingToBeFine · 03/10/2015 10:28

DD has group lessons and she is progressing albeit incredibly slowly e.g. she has now jumped in independently from the side, and will now put her face in the water. TBH I feel incredibly self conscious swimming, and if I'm with DD I get freezing cold because I can't go for a proper swim. And DD loves swimming. So its just easier for me to pay the council a wee bit to take her swimming for me

I do think swimming (along with riding a bike) is an important life skill though. It's a social thing, just one of those things that you assume that everyone can do.

WeAllHaveWings · 03/10/2015 10:57

The biggest different I saw with 1-1 lessons was they spent time in the water with him showing the correct technique for each part of the stroke (including breathing) which is nigh impossible in a group setting with the instructor standing out the pool. When ds does front crawl his arms bend correctly and his hands enter the water smoothly whereas a lot of dc taught in group lessons slap the water. Proper technique makes ds's swimming look more effortless.

MumOfTheMoment · 03/10/2015 11:20

My dc are currently on course to fail their 4th block of stage 4 lessons. They are both excellent at front crawl and back stroke but can't grasp breast stroke so keep having to repeat. The block of lessons costs £96 for the two of them so it has already costs me £400 and they aren't going to make the grade this time (am on poolside now).

It annoys me as they could have be improving their stamina and technique for front crawl but are being held back doing the same things purely based on a ticky box chart that they struggle with two elements of.

They both love swimming and are desperate to pass but I am considering pulling them out, however I can't really stretch to the 1-2-1 lessons (£££) but would like them to actually progress at something.

and

So I agree with you OP.

starlight2007 · 03/10/2015 12:01

The thing about swimming is firstly yes it could save their life...

As they get older it restricts opportunities..My DS goes to an inflatable session for over 8's ..If he couldn't swim 50 meters he wouldn't be able to go.. Same with a sailing opportunity through cubs.

It does sound though like your lessons aren't working OP...Have you looked for schools of swimming around you.. My Ds was in lessons in local pool which I moaned about every week. I moved him elsewhere and he is in a group of 1:4 with a teacher in the water.. Massive difference ..I noticed the progress in the first lesson. They are slightly more expensive however I now feel at least I am paying for him to learn to swim rather than improve just because he was in the water once a week. I would also enquire about 2 :1 that may reduce cost.

BoffinMum · 03/10/2015 12:30

I think the reason 1:1 and parental coaching works better is because people are constantly adjusting the children's movements physically. Just barking at them from the side is a bit scattergun and I think that is why it takes forever to learn.

FWIW as a kid I could not manage to learn in lessons at all. When I was 10 I went to a new school and they had an ex-army swimming instructor and he had me swimming lengths in a fortnight. I went on to be really good and swim for the school. I am still to this day not sure how he did it but I am very grateful to him.

BoffinMum · 03/10/2015 12:31

Captain Buchanan, he was called ....

summerainbow · 03/10/2015 13:55

Have you through about learning to swim your self?

pointythings · 03/10/2015 15:31

Badly run group lessons are indeed a rip-off. It also sounds as if your kids aren't keen and engaged and that doesn't help either - but it could be that the reason they are not engaging with the lesson is because the lesson isn't good.

My DDs learned to swim in group settings, but we were lucky enough to have a pool with a really excellent group of teachers. People were coming from well out of area to attend at our local pool and going on long waiting lists, that's how good they were. We did also take the DDs swimming every single Sunday without fail, for fun and for practice. I do appreciate how much harder that is as a single parent though.

My DDs could comfortably swim 400 meters at three different strokes (breast, crawl, back) by age 6, so good lessons really can make a big difference.

I hope you find a solution that works for you.

AlPacinosHooHaa · 03/10/2015 17:13

Op going against grain I also think forget about them for a while, then save up for 1 on 1. think about what level you want them to get too and they will get there much quicker one on one and more fun for them too .

I hate swimming I, I feel sorry for your dc being made to do it! let them take a break.

reman · 03/10/2015 23:53

if it is important make the time.

It is well worth it.

BackforGood · 04/10/2015 00:11

YABU to proclaim that "swimming lessons are the biggest rip off ever".

Yes, it probably seems like a big chunk of your budget each month, but in terms of 'value for money' I think swimming lessons have only been second to Scouting, in my dcs lives. The things they have been able to do, because they are confident swimmers, is endless - kayaking, sailing, rowing, stand up paddle boarding, wind surfing, surfing, pioneering over water, rafting, water park/fun pools ..... just 'going swimming with their mates'.... hours of fun on holidays over the years. Now, my eldest two are eraning twice what they can earn doing shop work or waitressing, by working as lifeguards.

However, if you are asking for advice / what other people do.....

Mine all learnt to swim with a swimming club. They had teenage volunteers in the water and it helped enormously with focus and attention and visible demonstrations (modelling what the teacher was trying to explain), and the ratios and advice and safety concerns, etc.,etc.
The lessons were an hour, but thoroughly enjoyed by all as they played games and did fun stuff like jumping in, all amidst the learning of techniques.
It also cost less than the council run ones.
Might be worth investigating in your area?

wiltingfast · 04/10/2015 00:33

Fgs, if your child is actively kicking against the lessons you are wasting your money. To learn they need to want to learn. Otherwise they will just fart around the pool and learn nothing.

If I were you I'd leave it at least 6m before trying again.

If you can afford to bring them on a holiday in the meantime where they have piles of fun in the pool, even better

If not maybe buy some books which feature swimming.

Don't fret about learning yourself, my mum still can't swim. Didn't stop me! Key is CHILD wants to swim.

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