To think I am not posh???

[LadyShirazz]

Our lodger has just informed me that I am "the poshest person he has ever met". Not in a nasty way at all, but at the same time in an entirely genuine one too.

Fair do's - I have the most plummy cut-glass accent imaginable which I hate. God only knows where I've acquired it from, as the rest of the family don't speak anything like this - I can only put it down to having moved around a lot as a child, and therefore never having picked up a particular accent. It's not even one of those "smooth as silk" Joanna Lumley accents either - think more the Queen with constipation (but also shit-faced, so lots of 'shits' and 'fucks' thrown in to the mix too...).

I do speak well and write well. I did go to Cambridge. I do work for a "big name" in The City that is a traditional haunt of the public school types many of them wankers - am new - that's another topic.

But, really, I come from true salt-of-the-earth stock. My mum is a Yorkshire farm lass, and my dad grew up in the slums (true sense of the word there) of the Black Country, and was the first person in his family to go to university (where he met my mum).

His choice of degree (engineering) has afforded the family until it went to shit a fairly "middle class" lifestyle, but certainly not a "posh" one. I went to Cambridge from a bog-standard comp on the basis of my grades (and a lot of hard work) - not my background. I only wish I had a trust fund, but am just working hard, alongside my OH, and caring for my elderly MIL - more or less like all the rest of us. We're okay financially, but by no means rich.

Anyway, surely - if we were that posh - we wouldn't be renting out our main bedroom of our two-bed flat to a lodger in the first place...???

I am definitely not taking this as an insult and am not offended - nor am I intending to cast aspersions on any one from any background at all.

AIBU though to not like assumptions being made on me or my background on the basis of my accent, when a) it's something I can't help and b) actually the very opposite is true...???

[LadyShirazz]

It's also quite hard to change your accent, as someone mentioned up thread.

I end up sounding like Ali G.

Can't stand hearing my voice back on either!

[TondelayoSchwarzkopf]

Yes it's relative. You're the poshest person he's met - and compared to most you are quite privileged. Having a parent who was the first in the family to go to university doesn't make you Waynetta Slob. See Carole Middleton.

I'm the poshest person at Haven Holidays Trecco Bay and the least posh person at the Groucho.

[Cookingongas]

But it is! You are the poshest person he has ever met. You may not be relatively posh in your own opinion, you may not be posh in other peoples opinion, but- to your lodger- you are the poshest person he's ever met. That's his truthful opinion.

[WorraLiberty]

It's not hard at all to change your accent if you're telling the truth about truly hating it.

Of course you'd change it, or at least tone it right down.

[BertrandRussell]

"When you drink tea do you hold out your little finger?"

BecUse if you do, you are sooooooooooo not posh!

[eurochick]

How many types of vinegar do you have in your kitchen? This is key.

[profbadbride]

The fact that you are agonising over whether or not you are posh marks you out as aspirational middle class

Such things simply do not occur to the genuinely posh. Pimms o'clock, anyone??

[Corygal]

Does being 'covered in cat hair' make you posh or common?

[Butkin]

OP I wouldn't have you down as posh from what you've said - just smarter than the other people he knows. Going to Cambridge just means you were intelligent and probably got your decent job on the back of your qualifications. Most of the nobility I know don't speak with particularly cut glass accents in fact quite the opposite. Have you ever heard Princess Zara speak?! They all have a good education, great manners and confidence but the one thing that doesn't count is money - it, alone, doesn't make you posh at all..

[cleaty]

I don't think going to cambridge just means you are smart. It does mean you are posh. You may be very smart as well as posh

[Liomsa]

Yes, the people I know who are apparently most embarrassed by their 'plummy' accents (but are incapable of changing them) are middle class. The upper classes haven't really noticed there's any other way to speak, and educated proles like me are used to unconsciously code-switching depending on the professional/social situation.

[profbadbride]

Corygal That depends on how you answer the following question:

"Good heavens, you are covered in cat hair. Is your butler on holiday?"

Do you respond:
a) "Oh yes, I don't know where I am without him. He's a treasure. A treasure!"
b) "How did you know I went to Butlins on holiday?"

Results: a =the right sort of person, b=frightful oik

[HaydeeofMonteCristo]

I am posh.

(except not really)

[Theycallmemellowjello]

Child of a professional, Oxbridge grad, and City worker = posh to most people. Without a doubt you are upper middle class. I get that you didn't go to a fancy school and have non-posh grandparents, but this describes many of the London intelligentsia, who certainly constitute an 'upper class' even if they're different to the traditional aristocratic upper class.

[FanOfSpam]

What is the effing point of your post? It bored me to death and I have merely concluded you needed some attention tonight. I hope your lodger is a Syrian refugee.

[TondelayoSchwarzkopf]

FanofSpam = so posh it hurts.

[WorraLiberty]

I hope your lodger is a Syrian refugee.

I have no idea why that ^^ actually made me laugh out loud!

[Only1scoop]

Spam

[BlackeyedSusan]

now from where I am sitting, walkers are posh crisps... aldi own brand crisps here.

walkers taste best though

[WorraLiberty]

I love Walkers

It's nice to have a couple of crisps with my bag of air.

[nauticant]

You don't necessarily sound posh to me OP. More like the run of the mill middle class person who's a bit too fixated on class.

[JugglingFromHereToThere]

I think you're a bit posh OP
Like me you're probably broadly middle-class
I don't try to narrow it down more than that personally
I'm happy under a wide umbrella

As in the two Ronnies sketch most of us will be more posh than some people and less posh than others
The English are known for their obsession with class and I have to agree that class indicators are intriguing
I think there's a gap in the market for a book examining such things given the national intrigue.

One thing in my family is that my DParents seem to want to appear as posh as possible whereas I rarely care what others think in this regard
Whether this makes them posher than me as they are forever putting their best foot forward and making stealth boasts to back this up, or I'm actually posher because I'm more secure and care less I haven't quite worked out yet. My DM can be a bit Hyacinth Bucket

Also thinking there are so many other important spectrums in our lives - from financial security to mental and emotional well-being. DH and I were discussing the other day whether his cousins who've done well for themselves on the career ladder were now upper middle class, or is there a sense in which we're always within the class we were born into and grew up in ? Perhaps we can mainly influence class for our DC rather than ourselves?

[Gwenhwyfar]

""middle class" or maybe "professional" - two very different things than traditionally "posh"."

Sounds like you're upper middle class, which many people would consider "posh". Poshness isn't confined to the upper class.

[Justaboy]

Having worked with a member of the royal family once, only a minor one and some of the nobility, they just don't sound that Posh if at all!!

[SiobhanSharpe]

Young poshos don't sound that posh these days, I think they tone it down in an effort to sound cool. Or 'street' or whatever. Meh.

Even the Queen sounds a lot less posh than she used to, her vowels aren't nearly so strangled.

And third generation royals (Harry, Zara) seem to just have generic southern accents, rather than old-style RP.