To think I am not posh???

[LadyShirazz]

Our lodger has just informed me that I am "the poshest person he has ever met". Not in a nasty way at all, but at the same time in an entirely genuine one too.

Fair do's - I have the most plummy cut-glass accent imaginable which I hate. God only knows where I've acquired it from, as the rest of the family don't speak anything like this - I can only put it down to having moved around a lot as a child, and therefore never having picked up a particular accent. It's not even one of those "smooth as silk" Joanna Lumley accents either - think more the Queen with constipation (but also shit-faced, so lots of 'shits' and 'fucks' thrown in to the mix too...).

I do speak well and write well. I did go to Cambridge. I do work for a "big name" in The City that is a traditional haunt of the public school types many of them wankers - am new - that's another topic.

But, really, I come from true salt-of-the-earth stock. My mum is a Yorkshire farm lass, and my dad grew up in the slums (true sense of the word there) of the Black Country, and was the first person in his family to go to university (where he met my mum).

His choice of degree (engineering) has afforded the family until it went to shit a fairly "middle class" lifestyle, but certainly not a "posh" one. I went to Cambridge from a bog-standard comp on the basis of my grades (and a lot of hard work) - not my background. I only wish I had a trust fund, but am just working hard, alongside my OH, and caring for my elderly MIL - more or less like all the rest of us. We're okay financially, but by no means rich.

Anyway, surely - if we were that posh - we wouldn't be renting out our main bedroom of our two-bed flat to a lodger in the first place...???

I am definitely not taking this as an insult and am not offended - nor am I intending to cast aspersions on any one from any background at all.

AIBU though to not like assumptions being made on me or my background on the basis of my accent, when a) it's something I can't help and b) actually the very opposite is true...???

[BabyGanoush]

what is posh about diet coke, is this a joke?

The only posh people I know (let's call her Lady X and her DH) only ever have tonic water, or ancient home made elderflower or lime cordial that has gone a bit grey.

Never seen diet coke at polo matches or hunt meets either!

[CorbynsTopButton]

what is posh about diet coke

If you don't know that by now, BabyGanoush, you will never know. Good breeding is not something that can be taught on a web forum.

I don't have a bloody clue either

[ForalltheSaints]

One was born in the same hospital as several members of the Royal Family but one does not consider one to be posh.

One does not consider the OP to be posh either.

[SeasonalVag]

Diet Coke is NOT posh. I think you'll find that most "posh" people wouldn't let their offpring near the bally stuff.

And there's nothing oikier than calling people "posh" either

[LadyWellian]

Doing well at school + lack of regional accent meant I got called 'posh' and 'snobby' as a child/teenager.

I'm not even going to go in to my background as it is irrelevant to the argument.

The fact is that normally if a person calls another person posh or snobby, what they actually mean is 'I am telling you to your face that I have taken an irrational dislike to you'.

While this may not be true in the OP's case, I remain unconvinced that any person who calls another person 'posh' means it as a compliment.

[twirlypoo]

Oh sorry, the diet coke reference was me

I was asking if op had those posho cans of pop with the foil over the top or just regular bog standard diet coke like commen as muck me

[SaskiaRembrandtWasFramed]

I haven't read the full thread, but can some explain the crisps and diet coke thing? I had no idea they were indicators of social class. And what about those of us who don't like either, where do we fit on the poshness scale?

[SaskiaRembrandtWasFramed]

twirlypoo Ah, I see.

[aphrodites]

I can't stand the word, it's such a peasant word, you may as well say 'grander than the considered norm' because it's so subjective and quite often derisory.

[Gwenhwyfar]

"her husband is a plumber and she's a secretary for a packaging company. That's working class."

I don't necessarily agree. If a plumber owns his own business, he would, as a small business man, be considered middle class by many people. Most secretaries these days have degrees, and by the old government classifications are intermediate or C1 workers i.e. part of the lower middle class.
Owen Jones argues in his book Chavs that admin workers are working class, but traditionally white collar workers, even junior ones, have been seen as middle class.

[Dawndonnaagain]

I say 'lavatory', 'what' and and 'napkin'. I enunciate the 't' in moet and I ignore the same in 'valet'. I've just swigged cream soda straight from the bottle...

[FanOfSpam]

Yes, but do you say herb or 'erb?

[LadyShirazz]

Herb. Don't use napkins/serviettes (clearly not that posh). Never drink diet coke (that's for OH - who is chavvier than I, clearly!).

My step-dad of twenty years is "chip on his shoulder" working class. Owns his own accountancy firm and nice home, but grew up fairly poor and still classes himself as working class as he "works".

He's even more deluded than I am!

[Stillwishihadabs]

I love these threads. It's all so subjective. Dh has some cousins who are proper Aristos (no proper jobs to speak of, titles, land etc). Dh and I have proper professional careers, we are both RG graduates we own our house, have that fancy pop in the fridge and care passionately about the dcs education. To the parents at the dc's (state) schools yes, to dh's cousins we are on the breadline.

[Queenbean]

her husband is a plumber and she's a secretary for a packaging company. That's working class.

"I don't necessarily agree. If a plumber owns his own business, he would, as a small business man, be considered middle class by many people. Most secretaries these days have degrees"

He doesn't own his own business and she doesn't have a degree. Nor to either of their parents.

[Crouchendmumoftwo]

Generally, people who use the word 'posh' are not.

[MummaGiles]

People can become posh, even if they had very working class upbringings. My dad went to school in moss side but now he lives in the Cotswolds, having moved there for work c 20 years ago, and his surroundings have rubbed off on him to the extent he calls dinner 'supper' when that used to mean a pre-bedtime snack to him.

[MummaGiles]

I meant people can become outwardly posh!

[catfordbetty]

Don't use napkins/serviettes

It's what you call them rather than if you use them.

[ThereGoesaTenner]

I would say a lot of people around where I live now are the poshest prats I have ever seen. From your post I wouldn't say so, no, but from what you have mentioned, I would, yes. But then you get the ones that try to pretend they aren't posh. It don't work.

I'm from SE London. Pretty much a common cockney. Yet when I moved further up, I had some people say that I sounded Australian!
Some of my family say I talk "posh" but somehow I don't hear/see it. I think it's because I do say certain things with emphasis on the vowels or whatever. I think... Kate Bush (she is from the same place as me), I sound like her maybe? I just don't pronounce my 'T's. Effort.

But still I got asked all the boring, common questions about being from South - and no, I do not use the slang that the "chavs" do - because people just assume you're a certain way because of where you've been, no matter who you are.

[bessarabiantiger]

If you have to ask...

[ouryve]

To me, the issue with "what?" isn't that it's said, but how it's said. It can be said in a manner that clearly expresses a need for clarification or in a "STFU I don't give a shiny shite about what you're saying, so piss off" way.

[BertrandRussell]

"I say 'lavatory', 'what' and and 'napkin'. I enunciate the 't' in moet and I ignore the same in 'valet'. I've just swigged cream soda straight from the bottle..."

One of that list has marked you out as "not one of us"

[FartemisOwl]

Oh for goodness' sake. Why does it matter? And what's so wrong with being 'posh'?
The mere fact that you're referring to yourself as such shows that you have nothing to worry about. True upper types would never use such terminology.

Yes, I too had the sort of education and now live a lifestyle that might be considerd 'posh', but I see it as middle class at best, and I'm fine with it. Why does it matter?

[FartemisOwl]

Unless you say 'tea' instead of dinner or supper. Then you're as common as doggy-do.