To shave DD head

[AtSea1979]

Ok maybe shave is a bit drastic but cut it all off.
She's 6, she has an odd, head shaking in bed, to get her to sleep habit.
Her hair is very thick and even at shoulder length (the shortest she can have it and still tie up) and it's completely matted in the mornings. I've tried everything. Plaiting it before bed etc etc but to no avail.
She has lovely hair when it's brushed through but every morning is a battle.
Surely in the 21st century, age of feminism, my DD shouldn't have to have these battles and can just have it cut off like a boy would. Apart from wanting 'Tangled' rapunzel hair or an Elsa plait she would probably want it cropped off too.
AIBU to take DD to hairdresser and get it all cut off?

[IndridCold]

People are really weird about short hair on girls, it really isn't a big deal is that the old girly stereotype peeking through?

This ^

I'm sensing good old-fashioned double standards here. It's ok (in fact it's apparently a good thing) for boys to wear tutus, but god forbid a girl should have short hair!

I guess people will come back at me and say 'Oh, but it's cruel to cut it short if she doesn't want it, she will feel different and be picked on', which is fair comment, and I wouldn't want anyone to cause unhappiness in that way. But my reply is why? There is clearly quite a strong social pressure here for girls to have their hair long, whatever potential disadvantages there may be. Why would you reject other forms of stereotyping, but insist on adhering to this one?

[AloraRyger]

I'm with those saying go for a bob.

My dds had chin length bobs and they looked lovely, their hair looked far healthier than some of the girls at school with long, matted or scraggly hair.

A bob should be easier to manage too.

[Branleuse]

My daughter gets very knotty hair and doesnt like it being brushed. A couple of years ago i told her it was going to be a trim, but got it cut into a long bob, and she still talks about it, hasnt properly forgiven me and its made the hair issues worse. I would love for her to have it short and easy, but its a big deal for her.

[Notso]

I wouldn't get it cut. Especially not as a consequence of not wanting it brushed. If she doesn't like having it brushed does it really matter? Just leave it. She'll grow out of it.

[perpetuallybewildered]

Surely the hairdresser should have looked at your DD's hair before it was washed?

[Enjolrass]

Oh, but it's cruel to cut it short if she doesn't want it, she will feel different and be picked on',

That's 2 different issues though.

The first I think is valid. I feel a child should have the choice of their hair is cut off or not.

The 'being picked' on point is a bit more difficult. I would never discourage dd from doing something she wanted to do. But luckily for me dd doesn't really care what other people think. She was bulked and came through the other side .

If you have a very sensitive child, it's more worrying. The bullying isn't ok and that is what should be tackled. However by that point the damage is already done.

It pisses me off that it's so common to comment on other appearances

[Enjolrass]

And yes these things are better discussed before the hair is wet and washed.

My hairdresser would always talk about what's being done before washing. Especially with dds hair as its so thick and coarse when dry

[mudandmayhem01]

Why is a girl having short hair so awful, some people have very tangly hair, even if dds is thoroughly detangled in the morning it will be knotty by evening. She is into sport, playing, not getting a hairbrush out every hour! ( thank goodness) I would prefer her to have short hair and i always show her pics of beautiful women with shorter hair but she wont budge!

[SeveredHeadsDragOnTheFloor]

I think you are just going to end with short matted hair and an upset small child.

[SeveredHeadsDragOnTheFloor]

Why is a girl having short hair so awful

Because this girl did not want it cut.

[Notso]

All the posters suggesting a bob clearly have no experience of thick, wavy hair.

[GruntledOne]

I suspect if OP's dd really didn't want it to happen there is no way OP could make her. The fact that she is going along with it strongly suggests she really doesn't mind.

[AtSea1979]

Of course it matters. If her hair is matted it'll hurt a lot more when the skin comes away.
Hair dresser not instilling confidence. He keeps saying you don't want it too short it won't look right on a girl.
So going for short, graduated, layed bob this time. Took about a foot off DD hair length at back so far. Can't help but think bob will look old fashioned.

[gamerchick]

No she didn't but sometimes you have to do what's best and little kids don't always know what's best.

I see people are more bothered about a little girl having short hair than the abuse she dishes out every morning sorting it out. I haven't seen one piece of advice on dealing with that but apparently just not bothering to brush it at all as suggested above is preferable to cutting it off. Seriously man!

[Notso]

Why is a girl having short hair so awful?

It's not. Enforcing short hair on a child who doesn't want it is unfair though.

[AtSea1979]

She also doesn't want to wear her uniform, wants to wear a pink bikini and flip flops to tesco in winter, wants to eat cheese on cheese with cheese for breakfast, lunch and tea.

[AtSea1979]

It's a bob, I don't like it but hairdresser keeps telling me it's fine.

[Enjolrass]

My dd is into sport and has long hair, doesn't brush it all day.

What weird thing to say.

Nothing wrong with girls having short hair.

I have very short hair. Everything wrong with being forced to have short hair

[Crabbitface]

Detangle sprays are v. expensive. My DD has REALLY curly hair that tangles and mats. I have an old spray bottle which I washed thoroughly and refill with a squirt of conditioner diluted in water. It works IMO better than detangle sprays and is virtually free. I would also swear by Tangle Teaser brush - we've got the flower one in the pot and it is AMAZING. We have gone from a wee girl who would run a mile at the mention of the word hair to one who regularly brings me her brush to have her hair brushed for fun. They are expensive £15 or so but sooooooo worth it.

[Crankycunt]

So body autonomy only works if a girl wants a short style against a parents wishes or a boy wanting long hair

[NoTeaForMe]

So after all of that you don't even like it now. What about your daughter, what does she think?

[Notso]

Not sure what you mean about skin coming away. Having matted hair doesn't hurt until you try and unmatt it IME.
I have a feeling you will just end up with a matted bob. Has he used thinning scissors?

[mudandmayhem01]

I think those whose daughters don't have hair that is prone to being really tangly can understand the stress it causes. My daughter has long hair, I have wasted hours of my life managing her hair, I respect her bodily autonomy but I wish short hair was a more common and popular choice!