AIBU to have a word with NDN

[fortifiedwithtea]

NDN is a single dad with currently just his youngest dd at home. She is the same age as my DD1. They sat their AS levels this summer.

Last day of the exams I posted in AIBU because the dd next door was having a party and all I could hear was her bf through the wall prefixing every sentencing with "fuck" or "fucking" and my youngest DD who is 12 and has SEN couldn't sleep. I went round and told her I was fucked off with hearing it and that whilst her exams might be over my DD1 had to do Government and Politics the next day. I was generally told IWBU for swearing and for complaining so early on in the evening.

I repeat my youngest child has SEN. She needs to go to bed on time. She needs her sleep. I need her to sleep, after a day of her I really need her to sleep. Living with a child with learning difficulties is exhausting. And the language was really offensive.

NDN DD was very apologetic. They quietened down for awhile. But the party was a sleepover and the night was hot. The party spilled over into the back garden. DD1 couldn't sleep with the window closed because of the heat and with the window open she could hear the noise. She did not sleep very much.

Results day yesterday. DD1 passed all her exams but overall Government & Politics looks to have suffered by her poor nights sleep. Paper 1 - brilliant mark, strong B. Paper 2 Unclassified, bringing her overall grade to a D

AIBU in wanting DH to go and see NDN and have a chat and lay out our my expectations for next years exam time . That there is no parties/loud sleepovers during the exams and have the consideration to wait until the end of all exams not just her own.

I don't know whether the dad knows the sleepover/party happened. I don't think he was there.
I'm not going to speak to him. I don't trust myself to stay calm.

[PurpleHairAndPearls]

Nanny0gg you do realise that lots of people work at weekends, even those that also need good sleep for safety reasons?

[loveandsmiles]

YABVVU

I can't believe you expect your neighbours to live their life according to what is going on in yours - unbelievable

[sugar21]

Jeez I've heard it all now.
Hardly likely that one night is going to affect an exam result much. You either know your subject or you don't.
When I was at boarding school it was silence and lights out at 10 pm but that didn't stop some pupils getting bad marks.
Yabu

[Funinthesun15]

Nanny0gg you do realise that lots of people work at weekends, even those that also need good sleep for safety reasons

About to say that. You beat me to it

[pictish]

It's an 'only on mumsnet' one this!

Only on mumsnet would people advocate someone going round to the neighbours to tell them what they may do in a years time, driven by the belief that their late night party one night caused their daughter to fail an exam.

Gosh.

[Nydj]

I think you should phone the environmental health dept of your council and ask them what the rules are for noise late at night in your area and what you should do if there is a repeat. Ours were really really helpful over a different environmental issue. Good luck.

[Starbrite00]

What's NDN

[dilbert19912]

Next door neighbour, I think??

[Fuckup]

It was unreasonable for the party to go on until 5am on a week night, so yanbu about that. However I highly doubt it had any impact on your dds exam performance and yabu to make that suggestion. For context I found out that my friend had died the night before a university exam and spent the night in tears and shock, perhaps grabbing 40 mins at most of sleep, thinking a fail was imminent and still came out with a first. I know everyone copes differently with a lack of sleep but the impact of one nights bad sleep on performance tends to be vastly over rated.

[hackmum]

Smillassenseofsnow: " A crap night of virtually no sleep would not pull a B down to a U unless the girl has some serious other problems."

The OP must have said three times now that she didn't think her DD was pulled from a B to a U, but perhaps an E to a U, therefore bringing the overall grade down from a C to a D. How many times does she have to go on saying it for people to understand? Is it really that difficult?

[SmillasSenseOfSnow]

The OP must have said three times now that she didn't think her DD was pulled from a B to a U, but perhaps an E to a U, therefore bringing the overall grade down from a C to a D. How many times does she have to go on saying it for people to understand? Is it really that difficult?

Ah, I see. That's not what I understood by the post I saw the OP mention that in. My mistake.

I'm not sure anyone can necessarily blame others for a result being one grade below the expected. It's as likely to be down to the topics that came up in the exam, or simply the OP's DD not preparing as well as she thought.

[hackmum]

loveandsmiles: "I can't believe you expect your neighbours to live their life according to what is going on in yours - unbelievable"

I can't believe that anyone thinks it's acceptable for someone to hold a party till 5am on a week night when they have next door neighbours who can hear it, regardless of whether someone has got exams the next day or not.

I don't know what's worse on Mumsnet sometimes - the stupidity or the nastiness. Or perhaps the toxic combination of the two.