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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Running a marathon without a tampon. Does it 'break the stigma of periods'?

328 replies

ArmySal · 09/08/2015 10:25

www.dailytelegraph.com.au/news/nsw/kiran-gandhi-ran-the-london-marathon-without-a-tampon-in-a-bid-to-break-the-stigma-surrounding-womens-periods/story-fni0cx12-1227475480183?

When I first read the story I was open mouthed through revulsion, to be honest, but after reading the story I understand (to a degree) the point she was making.

AIBU to think 'fair play' to her? As said in the article, it highlights the fact some women don't have access to sanitary products, something I hadn't really thought about before.

OP posts:
Lweji · 10/08/2015 14:43

If you had the galloping D&V you (hopefully) wouldn't run a marathon knowing you were going to shit yourself.

Menstrual blood is not the same as feces.

She got blood stains on her. So what?

Lots of men in contact sports get bloody and nobody calls them.disgusting.

fourtothedozen · 10/08/2015 14:52

I didn't notice there was a stigma over periods either. Not my experience. Everyone I have met seems pretty relaxed about it.

IKnowIAmButWhatAreYou · 10/08/2015 14:54

Menstrual blood is not the same as feces.

No, but it's hardly champagne is it? I wouldn't expect a man to run a marathon bleeding either.

Lot's of women get bloody in contact sports & no one calls them disgusting either - not sure what your point was there TBH?

MiaowTheCat · 10/08/2015 15:33

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Bambambini · 10/08/2015 15:37

I think there is still a lot of stigma, disgust, shame and embarrasement on the subject - as this thread shows.

Lweji · 10/08/2015 15:49

No, but it's hardly champagne is it?

And nobody is asking anyone to drink it. Nor sweat, which is another perfectly normal, but not champagne, secretion by runners.

The point about male contact sports, beautifully pointed out it also applies to females, thank you, is that other type of blood is not considered disgusting. Nor similar to feces.
And while it's not expected that anyone would run with a bloody injury, if that happened it wouldn't be considered disgusting nor similar to having shit themselves. They'd probably be hailed as heroes for persevering.
But menstrual blood is compared to shit and considered disgusting. Not really fair.

Lweji · 10/08/2015 15:51

Miaow Grin
?

Mrsjayy · 10/08/2015 15:54

I read a post on facebook which said its indulgent and proves no point to anybody i was nodding in agreement with it. Its not brave it makes no sense and i dont know why she would do it. There is no stigma to periods its not brave its a bodily function like pissing we dont let urine run down our legs

Notagainmun · 10/08/2015 16:50

It is a bodily fluid regardless and I don't wish to see other people's running freely,male or female. I really don't understand how it will help those who don't have access to sanitary protection.

AuntyMag10 · 10/08/2015 17:00

It was a pointless exercise, all people are thinking is how disgusting and not the message she wanted to convey. I don't want to see it either.

sugar21 · 10/08/2015 17:09

Pointless. No one wants to see period blood purposely on display. Basic hygiene is normal, being a twat is not. An outfit or message stitched on to a runners vest would gain more attention.

fourtothedozen · 10/08/2015 17:18

I think it's worse than urine. It doesn't matter if it was flowing from her vagina or a dripping bloody nose.

People are understandably cautious about spilled blood, particularly since the days of HIV. Hepatitis can be spread by spilled blood.
Places of work, schools etc have safety procedures in place to deal with blood spills in a safe way.
Menstrual blood is no different.
It makes me uncomfortable having someone bleeding in a public place and I don't care which part of the body it's coming from.
All this feminist stuff is a red herring. ( forgive the pun)

mybloodyhell · 10/08/2015 17:38

NC for this, but regular. (I am sure some people will be able to identify me, but please don't out me if you do, you clever people!).

I think I understand what she was trying to do, and I don't find it disgusting.

However, I do have big problems with the equation of menstruation with femininity. The reason being that I have had my life torn apart by menorrhagia.

Yes, menorrhagia. It's normally an annoying but relatively minor condition right? I can't tell you the number of women who have helpfully told me that they also had it and it 'wasn't that bad'. I'm sure it wasn't in their case. But in mine, it has been devastating.

I began to bleed when I was 32. It started with very long periods - lasting up to 14 days, which were really heavy of the start. I didn't think that much of it, but when I went on holiday to New York, I asked the doctor for something to stem the bleeding. I was given a big dose of hormones, but I bled right through. I think that was when I realised something was wrong.

By the age of 34 I was bleeding every single day - yes, every day without remission. For three days, I would get something that was worse, resembling the start of a period on steroids. In this state I would go through a super-plus tampon and the largest pad every 30 minutes, day and night, getting up over and over again to change. When I went to the loo it was like a scene from a gory horror movie.

Outside of those times, I could suddenly flood at any time. Imagine there's a tap in your fanjo, and it can just be turned on, releasing loads and loads of blood. You have literally seconds to get to a loo before you start leaking all through your tampon, your pad, your clothes. I couldn't go anywhere more than a minute from a toilet. Country walks were impossible, flights were impossible, even a picnic in the park was difficult.

It started to affect my work. I tried to work from home for a while, but my boss (a misogynist old school wanker) was having none of it. I was doing quite well in my career, but I couldn't travel on trains any more due to the mess that it would create. I would have to leave meetings repeatedly without any warning because I would feel myself suddenly flood. I had to carry spare clothes and handfuls of period gear everywhere I went.

Exercise was an impossibility - I went from being a hill runner to struggling to climb a flight of stairs, breathless, weak, and exhausted. Sex - forget it! Worst of all, because of later complications I lost my chance to have a child.

Didn't I realise what was happening and see a doctor? Dear reader, I went back to my GP dozens and dozens of times and was repeatedly told by patronising dictors that I was 'normal', that this was 'part of being a woman' and 'very common'. I changed surgery. This time, I got stuck in a loop of endless testing for STDs (5 tests!!!). And then the same thing. I explained how much I was bleeding, but they would not believe me. I explained that I wanted a child but couldn't have sex, that I was desperate, that I knew that my fertility would be falling and that I might have problems if something wasn't done straight away. They told me that I couldn't get pregnant 'if I was stressed' and told me to listen to a relaxation CD.

In short, they did nothing. Not even a blood test.

One day, I was trying to climb the stairs at home and I collapsed and my heart started racing. I ended up in A&E and I was told that I had been on the verge of a heart attack because I was very severely anaemic. It was only then that I managed to get a referral to see a consultant.

The problem was fixed within 6 months. The problem turned out to be a huge fibroid which was so awkwardly placed that it was causing constant bleeding. I had three rounds of surgery to remove it. But my life remains in tatters. I still have nightmares about the constant bleeding. My confidence is shattered, I still have no job, and no chance of having a family.

I have every sympathy with the campaign to give more women access to sanitary products. Just don't tell me that bleeding is what makes me 'a woman' or that it's an essential part of my femininity that I need to accept and enjoy!!

lastuseraccount123 · 10/08/2015 17:42

i like what she did. i really admire this new young generation of women, they're pushing the taboos even further than mine. You go girls!

Bambambini · 10/08/2015 17:44

I doubt she set out to have blood visible to others and to make a point. I wondered if it just happened and then refused to apologise and have folk shame her so just took control and brassed it out. I think people do relax the rules on being nice and clean and polite when it comes to sports, especially those more extreme sports that can really push you to your limits. Like the lady earlier who won her race with blood visible or Paula Radcliff stopping to pee mid marathon.

ChwatFeechers · 10/08/2015 17:54

Paula Radcliffe crouched for a shit, not a pee.

drudgetrudy · 10/08/2015 17:56

Mybloodyhell-I had a less severe but similar experience. From the age of about 52 to 58 I was bleeding constantly-large clots etc. I was put on progesterone to regulate it and I managed to work knowing I could make my period start n Friday afternoon and I wouldn't be able to go out till Tues. Sitting on bin bags and bath towels. Would any medic believe me? NO. It was only when I had a blood test for something else and my hemoglobin levels were so low they wanted to admit me for a transfusion that I got a gyneae appt and my "fibroid uterus" was removed. They still wanted to check it wasn't a stomach ulcer when I knew perfectly well what it was.

What did a work colleague ask me when I went back to work after the op? -"Do you feel less of a woman?"

Periods are a bodily function like any other-not something to be either proud of or ashamed about. FWIW-I didn't find this stigmatising just a "bleedin' nuisance".

hackmum · 10/08/2015 18:00

mybloodyhell - what a shocking experience. It seems extraordinary that the doctors wouldn't listen to you. What is wrong with these people? All they needed to do was refer you to a gynaecologist. Not difficult.

jenenberry · 10/08/2015 18:08

I admire her in a way.

Having a period 'accident' is seen as being really shameful and something to be avoided at all costs.
Having an accident is something nearly every woman dreads, but it shouldn't be like that.
Periods happen to most females - and for a large part of our lives, so why should we be made to feel shame if sanitary protection lets us down and we do have a leak? (and lets face it, it's happened at least once to most of us, maybe more)

So I get why she did it.
I wouldn't have been so brave.

mybloodyhell · 10/08/2015 18:48

drudge - the more I pluck up the courage to speak to other women about it, the more people I find who have had similar problems. I think it's something that can be really quite devastating and traumatic and we don't talk about it in public much, so we don't really have a 'template' for understanding it or for demanding help. I've been thinking about trying to do something about both those things. If I can just get my confidence up a bit, I might give it a go.

hackmum - as drudge said, I didn't feel like they really believed me, or understood the severity of it. I know that 'heavy bleeding' is somewhat subjective, but I think that level of bloodloss isn't really normal or OK. I could tell that they were sceptical when I said how many sanitary products I was using. The STD loop is a particularly awful one to get stuck in. They kept insisting that the bleeding must be caused by an infection, and even when every test kept coming back negative, they just kept testing over and over again. It made me feel even more ashamed and humiliated. In the end, I went to the GUM clinic at the hospital, burst into tears, and a shocked consultant tested me for absolutely everything, then sent my GP a rocket of a letter telling her to stop testing me for the same thing over and over again and to refer me. It didn't work, though Sad.

80schild · 10/08/2015 19:06

It is gross seeing dried blood no matter who it belongs to but I am really pleased she did it and it's not just because she highlights that there are some people in the world who don't have access to sanitary products but also because she has got people talking about what is normal and what isn't.

There are so many people in discomfort out there who have been told by clueless (and probably male) that there is nothing wrong with them when there probably is.

I think it is only women who have never had problems who can't appreciate what she has done.

drudgetrudy · 10/08/2015 19:09

Yes-its the not being believed and taken seriously mybloodyhell I wasn't ashamed of the bleeding-just being treated like a silly menopausal old bat when I was ill. Being older I was spared the STD checks. Obviously still plenty of room for feminism.

Mrspeterrabbit · 10/08/2015 19:15

I note she said she did this "to fight oppression". Irritatingly pretentious and such a first world response. Fight oppression by helping out at a women's crisis centre/ donate to a charity helping women in the developing world. Don't not wear a tampax while voluntarily running 26 miles.

lastuseraccount123 · 10/08/2015 19:34

i like the idea of it reducing stigma - esp. for those of us with v. heavy periods. I recently biked home and bled through my pad, through my pants and bike shorts and onto my bike seat. I don't think anyone noticed but who knows

fourtothedozen · 10/08/2015 19:45

I must be missing something. What stigma?