Advice with fat comments

[balls2DWall]

I get on really well with my sil. she intimidates me slightly as she is so slim and pretty but very nice girl. however, her kids (4 and 6) constantly say to me "have you a baby in your tummy" and when i say no they say "then why are you so fat?". she brushes them off and says don't be rude to the kids but thats it. aib overly sensitive? i am "fat" so they are not wrong though i teach my son that the word "fat" can hurt people's feelings. my weight is a big issue for me and knocks me every time i hear these kids say it.

[UnashamedMOB]

I'm not sure it's right to say such young children are being rude. I am pg, and my 4 yr old yesterday asked me if a friend also had a baby in her tummy. I said no, he said, well why is her tummy so big then? I just said, well people are all different sizes. That is the first time he has ever commented on anyone's size, and I don't want to get into a whole discussion about how it would be rude to mention to her, I think it's better to just not make a big deal of it, so that he accepts that people come in different shapes and sizes and it's not something to be surprised about. Same as I do with people's skin colour on occasions when he's asked about that. I don't think I'd be able to explain what is rude about mentioning it without making it into a bigger issue than it is. It's just natural unprejudiced childhood curiosity.

[Lurkedforever1]

As a one off children aren't rude for making personal comments, but 4 & 6 are old enough to understand we don't continue to do so if it's hurting someones feelings.
Dd once spent a long time looking round when we were at the supermarket checkout before announcing loudly people came in silly colours. She did expand to explain she thought people should have stripes/ spots/ patches/ patterns/ markings etc like animals, because being just white, brown or red (one woman) wasn't very pretty.
Which is very different to not intervening if she frequently quizzed the same person on their monotone colour.

[LittleGwyneth]

It's horrid :( I had that happen to me when I was baby sitting (aged 17, size 10/12, really fit!) and it still ravaged my confidence.

Bear in mind that kid's perceptions of all sorts of things can be warped - I asked a five y/o how old she thought I was the other day and she said 40 (I'm 24).

[Gottagetmoving]

I wouldn't take offence if a child that young said that to me.
Children comment on what they see and it is not rude. You cannot get angry about a child being honest, you just have to explain why sometimes people get upset if you call them fat.
They were not saying being fat is bad,..or judging. It was a comment from curious children. As adults we should be able to deal with it.

[meadowquark]

I also wouldn't take as offense. I am fat by the way and I have a niece who has said this to me in the past (not meaning bad). I felt uncomfortable but explained myself (because I just had a baby ) and that's was it. No rudeness intended but we have to educate children.

[squoosh]

For them to ask you once is fine, kids can be bluntly honest. For them to constantly ask is extremely rude and they should be firmly put in their place. Even if you're the one who has to do it.