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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Because everyone loves a wedding thread....

82 replies

choccywoccywoowah · 10/07/2015 08:56

I went on a hen do a few weeks ago to Spain. The only people who could attend were the bride, mother of bride, mother of groom, myself and one other woman. So not even any of the bridesmaids/sister/best friend etc.

The other woman was miffed (but didn't make this known to the bride) as she received her invite on the hen do which was only to the evening. She thought that seeing as she was one of the few who made an effort to attend the hen do abroad, it was a bit off to invite her only to the evening.

I assume bride wanted to keep numbers down as they are friends and get on well from what I saw on holiday.

Who is BU?

OP posts:
QuiteLikely5 · 10/07/2015 09:04

If she was that annoyed then she didn't have to go to Spain.

The point is cost is what mostly lies behind these disputes.

It's not intended malice.

Original poster
choccywoccywoowah · 10/07/2015 09:06

We received our invitations on the actual hen do so she didn't know she was only invited to the evening until she got there.

OP posts:
ghostyslovesheep · 10/07/2015 09:07

Erm lets get this right

Bride has hen do in Spain
For a weekend
Friend pays to go
Is only invited to spend one evening with the group

Blimey of course the bride IBU

PuntasticUsername · 10/07/2015 09:10

You mean she received her evening invitation to the wedding, right?

Collaborate · 10/07/2015 09:10

The bride IBU. If you have a wedding abroad, you should invite everyone to the whole day. Unless of course the other woman lives in Spain, round the corner from where the wedding is taking place, and there are others also just coming to the evening do.

JustThisSideOfSane · 10/07/2015 09:10

Bride was massively unreasonable and very rude!

Collaborate · 10/07/2015 09:11

Of course the friend should decline the invitation.

ghostyslovesheep · 10/07/2015 09:12

Ahh she only had an evening invite to the WEDDING! Oh in that case no the bride was not unreasonable

Original poster
choccywoccywoowah · 10/07/2015 09:13

Sorry let me clarify. Hen do I Spain. Wedding on uk. Received our invitations to the wedding on the hen do which friend was only invited to the evenings. She was then annoyed as she was one of the very few people who had taken the time and expense to go abroad for hen dom Sorry!

OP posts:
IamtheDevilsAvocado · 10/07/2015 09:13

Just rude, rude!!

Raised by wolves!

Original poster
choccywoccywoowah · 10/07/2015 09:13

Damn auto correct!!

OP posts:
derxa · 10/07/2015 09:14

She assumed she would be invited to the full wedding and went to the hen do. Actually I feel really sorry for her. If the bride wanted to keep costs down why did she go on a bloody expensive trip to Spain?

Only1scoop · 10/07/2015 09:14

Why on earth did she give out a B list invite to her on the hen do Confused

Bride sounds really popular Smile

nottheOP · 10/07/2015 09:15

The bride is BU.

Collaborate · 10/07/2015 09:15

She still doesn't have to attend. Whether she's BU depends on what invites other friends similarly close got.

IamtheDevilsAvocado · 10/07/2015 09:16

PS suspect it's how you view your hen do... I would only want close pals and family@ hen ... ie those who would be invited to the wedding...

Obviously this bride viewed it as a free for all....

ArgyMargy · 10/07/2015 09:16

Choccy it was perfectly clear in your OP! Hilarious how people have misread & posted degrees of U! But I do think it's a bit weird to hand out wedding invites at a hen do! The bride IBU.

ZaZathecat · 10/07/2015 09:16

The bride was U.
Doesn't sound much of a fun hen do though - I'd rather spend it in a local pub and have all my friends there!

NerrSnerr · 10/07/2015 09:17

I think that's rude. I would have bumped her up to a whole day invite if she'd made the effort to come to the hen do.

Only1scoop · 10/07/2015 09:17

And ffs the only other invite she had to give out was yours surely

Unless she has B listed her own mum and mil to be.

I would have been so upset by that being handed to me there. After Id probably paid a few hundred quid and made her very sparse hen do slightly more exciting

JinglyJanglyJungleBigGameTours · 10/07/2015 09:18

The bride was BU!

LaurieFairyCake · 10/07/2015 09:21

The whole thing is just shit

  1. Overly expensive hen do abroad
  2. Giving out wedding invitations on said hen do

Just tacksville

SisterMoonshine · 10/07/2015 09:21

Woman thought they were better friends.
Bride should have altered her invite before she gave it.

nilbyname · 10/07/2015 09:21

The bride was incredibly crass and ride! I am cringing for her!

She gave everyone their invites on the hen do?! What was it, a bit like deal or no deal, let's see what you've one?!Confused

I'm no debretts etiquette expert here, but by golly that's a new manners low.

SisterMoonshine · 10/07/2015 09:22

What I mean is, the bride has led her on there.