breastfeeding in the supermarket

[wtfisgoingonhere]

Ok so I'm all for breastfeeding and think all mums should (assuming mother/baby are able to) but WALKING AROUND SAINSBURYS breastfeeding. . . Seriously? ?

Maybe it's only me that's shocked and I am not a mum myself if that makes a difference.
Don't get me wrong I certainly disagree with mums being ushered into toilets and the like but I felt a bit of modesty could have avoided awkwardness for both mum and others she may come across.

I have no issue with nudity either, i enjoy sunbathing topless and strolling around my home in various states of undress but I couldn't imagine ever feeling comfortable doing this myself

The last thing I expected on a Saturday afternoon trip to sainsburys was to round the corner of an aisle to come face to face with a woman with her top down and FULL BOOB OUT (I saw nipple and all!) strolling down the home entertainment aisle feeding baby. Yes I know this is what they are intended for but when men aren't allowed to enter shirtless is this not a bit much? Had she been sat outside the store on the benches or in a cafe (if they had one) I guess i or anyone else wouldn't have batted an eyelid

Just interested in others opinions

Is this taking things a bit far or perhaps it is just a multitasking achievement extraordinaire?

[Pepperonipeteczar]

I've fed everywhere, that's the nature of BF on demand you do it everywhere, if I had to find a quiet polite corner to BF every time my baby wanted feeding I would never get anything done! So sorry YABU. Mind your own business

[Pepperonipeteczar]

WHY IS EATING PRIVATE AND PERSONAL!!!! WHY!!!!

[oabiti]

Agreed, sh#tebag.

[oabiti]

pepper "if I had to find a quiet and polite corner....."

Since when have corners been polite? That made me giggle pepper

[puffinrock]

I breastfed in shops, weddings, kids parties, whilst working. I bottle propped whilst pushing a trolley with all my other kids sitting in it. I brought the whole family to the supermarket. I have done all the mn no nos but in rl everyone does these things in the pursuit of keeping all your kids alive/quiet!

[ToniMumsnet]

This is all getting a bit heated. Its a contentious thread, but can we not make our comments personal and keep it civilised.

[SaulGood]

Appleblossom, you can do what you want with regards to feeding your babies. That is your right. What you are doing is making sweeping assertions about how other people should do it. You don't want to feel criticised for how you intend to feed your child (nor should you) and likewise, you should not be critical of what is a completely appropriate and fundamental right.

You're doing what the op did. You're confusing what you would do with what everybody else should do.

It is not inappropriate to feed a hungry baby. It really is that simple.

Nobody has to feel 100% comfortable with anything. You do have to share public spaces though and understand when it is your own peculiarities and foibles which make you uncomfortable, you do what the rest of us do. You avert your gaze and get on with your day. You don't get to decide that other people are doing it incorrectly.

You're right that breast feeding is personal. It isn't necessarily private though. Unless you also think that bottle feeding should be private? In that case you then think that a baby eating is somehow private and why would that be? More likely, it's the fact that it involves breasts. So one of two things is true. Breasts, a part of the human body with the primary function of feeding babies are somehow deeply shocking in essence. Or we live in a society which has sexualised and fetishized breasts so that their primary function is viewed by some people as something which needs to be controlled and hidden.

[ribbitTheFrog]

Yabu. Do you object to chicken breasts on display in the supermarket? All those dead animals chopped up in the fridge? Why would a mother feeding her child bother you? There's more flesh on display on the front of the tabloids usually....

[milliemanzi]

It pisses me off that's there is so much pressure to breastfeed these days but yet so many people finding it "uncomfortable" or think it's "inappropriate", I know people can't help how they feel and they're entitled to their opinion but I do find it slightly depressing that something so natural could cause such a shock to someone.

[tobysmum77]

Apple of course you are entitled to your opinions.

However, there must be a lot of things you find inappropriate in life because this is pretty low key.

[53rdAndBird]

i will primarily bf at home and only feel comfortable doing so in front of dh. If at other people's houses i will excuse myself and go to another room to feed. I will also express for when we are out and about. If absolutely necessary i will find a quiet corner and feed under a shawl as a last resort.

Appleblossom, you're free to do whatever you're most comfortable with of course, but you might well find it isn't as easy as that.

For example: expressing doesn't work for everyone. Even when it does, if you have oversupply and a baby who feeds very frequently (like I did), skipping a feed to give expressed milk instead can quickly result in swollen, painful breasts and a blocked duct (about as pleasant as it sounds). Not all babies will feed under a shawl. Not everywhere you will be will have a 'quiet corner' you can head off to. It's very, very hard to breastfeed mainly at home if you have a very very frequent feeder and you want to leave the house ever. And so on.

You're entitled to do whatever you want and need to in those circumstances, of course. But maybe ease off on the judginess for other women also doing what they want and need to in their own circumstances?

[tobysmum77]

I can never understand the angst around breastfeeding. Go onto a beach in the med and there are bare breasts everywhere. But a baby feeding

[BumpTheElephant]

YABU.

[Dawndonnaagain]

I understand that my views on breastfeeding are unfashionable but i do think its a private and personal thing and i dont see why people should be flamed for having a different view. Im a woman too why are your views more valid?

1. I bet you use restaurants. I bet you use them in daylight too. Not that private and personal then.
   2)Because women spent a long time fighting to be able to feed their babies when their babies needed feeding, not when a paternalistic society told them to. Despite quite a few thousand years, babies still do not feed according to a clock.
   
2. Because actually, it's really, really important that society realises that this is not a private and personal thing, but an essential and normal thing.
   
3. Breastfeeding in a supermarket is no different to me giving my daughter (who is disabled and occasionally needs food quickly) a biscuit in a supermarket.
   Whilst you may not comment, you have these views, were it ever put to a vote (unlikely, I know) you would vote against public breastfeeding. That does not normalise that which needs to be. That's why you are flamed for having a different view.

[SaulGood]

Appleblossom...

Of course you are entitled to your opinion. There is, however, a difference between a opinion and being right or wrong.

For example (and I don't mean this comparatively):

Person A: I think oranges are nicer than apples
Person B: I think apples are nicer than oranges

^ That's a difference of opinion

Person A: She was wearing a short skirt and therefore was asking for people to sexually harass her
Person B: She can wear whatever the fuck she wants and has the right to be left alone

^ One of these people is right and one of them is wrong

Appropriate means suitable or proper in the circumstances. The circumstances are that a baby is hungry and needs feeding. Inappropriate in that instance would be not feeding the baby. It really is that simple.

You can feel however you want to feel about public breastfeeding but that says everything about you and nothing about how appropriate public breastfeeding is. You don't like it. That doesn't make it inappropriate. It makes you uncomfortable with the situation. That's fine. We all have our feelings. Feelings are not fact however.

[tobysmum77]

I don't particularly like topless sunbathing either in so far as I leave my own top in, although people have the right to do what they like.

Ironically enough the op says she sunbathes topless..... so is of the opinion that it's fine to get both breasts out in a public place to avoid straplines but not one to feed a hungry baby. This is a very odd view imo!

[tobysmum77]

I don't particularly like topless sunbathing either in so far as I leave my own top in, although people have the right to do what they like.

Ironically enough the op says she sunbathes topless..... so is of the opinion that it's fine to get both breasts out in a public place to avoid straplines but not one to feed a hungry baby. This is a very odd view imo!

[Dawndonnaagain]

I dont agree its the same as giving a bottle or a biscuit
Why not?

[NinkyNonkers]

Topless sunbathing is massively different!

[Iggi999]

Anyone trying to feed according to AppleBlossom's personal criteria (at home; in a separate room; corner under a shawl; lots of expressing) will be using formula quicker than I can say Cow and Gate.

[ElaineVintage]

I've also seen this in a supermarket. Breastfeeding can be done discreetly however some women choose not too. There is no need to have them out in full view in public. And don't get me started on breast feeding toddlers!

[SaulGood]

Believe me Elaine, nobody wants to get you started on feeding toddlers. I can't quite imagine your opinion.