To request that my DH doesn't suck my nipples when I'm asleep

[Luxme]

I was just asleep in bed (hectic day with LO) and my DH woke me up by sucking my nipple. I absolutely hate this and have always done (he knows this and i wasn't able to breastfeed for very long as the sensation of anything on my nipples makes me feel disgusting) and then says 'you used to let me' (he's confusing me with his ex i think as i have never let him). then after i tell him off says 'ok ok' (he said this last time and has done it again).

Childishly i have put his toothbrush down the toilet. because without screaming at him, this is the only way i can think of getting him to realise how much i hate this as the only comparison i have is that he hates not being able to brush his teeth as that also makes him feel disgusting.

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[CatMilkMan]

its simple, you have told him not to do something to you when you are vulnerable and can't stop him and he does it anyway.
If I was you and this was the only issue I might explain how wrong this is and if he ever did it again the relationship would be over.

[Flisspaps]

If you think the OP isn't telling the truth, report to MN. Don't call her out on here

Seeing the lack of belief in the OP - however unlikely it may seem to you - may put other women who are being sexually assaulted off asking for our help for fear of not being believed.

[ShimmeringCobalt]

Yes people make things up quite often and post them for a reaction.

It just seems a very bizarre thing to do and is wrong on so many levels.

It's really giving me the cringe to think that a grown man would suck on a nipple (uninvited and unwanted) when the recipient is sleeping. Is he trying to simulate breastfeeding or something?

He sounds like a creep!

[Klayden]

[ShimmeringCobalt]

And you ADDDNBU to not want this!

[Cornonthecob]

YANBU!!! I agree with pp to work on your assertiveness, otherwise paint something disgusting tasting onto your nipples before bed!! I wouldn't report him unless you feel threatened and frightened of him!

[Luxme]

Ick!!! That would be gross!!!

It is bloody weird which is why I'm asking you guys as I don't really want to discuss it with someone in RL. Why didn't he just talk to me?

Considered grabbing his balls when he's on the sofa and then saying 'how does that make you feel?'.

[jumpinghoops]

I absolutely get how awful this would feel. I cannot abide nipple sucking, it is the most toe curling, nails-down-a-blackboard type feeling for me. What is his explanation for doing it despite knowing you hate it?!

[Luxme]

sorry when he's asleep on the sofa.

Re Trolls- some people have far too much time on their hands!!!!

[Iliveinalighthousewith2friendlyghosts]

This is assault. No one has the right to touch or suck your body with out your say. His behaviour is sick

[Cornonthecob]

Uhm what he's doing is gross and weird!!

[PushAPushPop]

Ok then, assuming this is genuine.

You have been a couple for
six years and he is still mistaking you for his ex...?

LTB.

He is doing something he knows you detest?

LTB.

He is hurting you by indirectly telling you his ex was basically "up for this" (hence why he confused your preferences for hers) ?

LTB.

YANBU.

[DawnMumsnet]

Evening all,

Just popping in to remind everyone about our rules on troll hunting - you can take a look at our Talk Guidelines here.

If anyone has any doubts about a poster, please please come directly to us with your concerns, rather than raise an eyebrow on the thread - it's bad form!

We have no reason to think the OP isn't for real, btw.

Many thanks.

[WhoKnowsWhereTheTimeGoes]

If you threaten the police then you've got to be prepared to go through with it, which is likely to mean the end of the relationship. I'm not saying don't do it, but you need to be prepared for all that is likely to follow, are you financially ok etc.

[loveareadingthanks]

Buy him a dummy.

[TwinsetBeck]

You need to get a bottle of that stuff people paint on their nails to stop them biting them. Keep your nipples liberally painted at all times! Should sort him out.

[snowglobemouse]

[DancingDinosaur]

Thats horrible op. I used to go out with someone who was like that. I'd wake up with him on top of me. He never stopped, seemed to think it was funny. I left the bastard.

[Jessica2point0]

This is definitely sexual assault. I don't agree that you "need to work on your assertiveness". I think that he needs to learn what is and what isn't considered sexual assault. Your friendly neighbourhood PCSO should be able to educate him.

[Icimoi]

I agree this is something that can only be done by consent, and I know that everyone has different tastes. But I'm a bit bemused by the number of people who suggest that licking, sucking or kissing nipples is automatically revolting. They are after all a recognised erogenous zone.

[Miggsie]

I had a cat who did this - in a cat, it is forgivable, as they have brains the size of walnuts and can't learn to respect boundaries.

[Piffyonarockbun]

To those suggesting a visit from a PCSO, they have minimal law training and wont be able to identify a sexual assault either. Its not something they would be able to deal with so they wont have been trained on it. If police are contacted about this they will send an officer with appropriate training, not a local PCSO.

[DoJo]

But I'm a bit bemused by the number of people who suggest that licking, sucking or kissing nipples is automatically revolting. They are after all a recognised erogenous zone.

I think only one poster expressed their shared distaste of the action itself, everyone else seems to just be sharing their belief that a sexual act that one person doesn't like should be off limits, including when they are asleep.

[Sallyingforth]

If you've made your dislike clear, that should be an end to it. But the toothbrush thing was silly. If he does it again, hold his balls - and then squeeze very hard!

[Icimoi]

DoJo, I've counted 4 so far, not including OP, who seem to think the action itself is yukky.