To send DS2 to 11+ tutor against his wishes?

[Fourarmsv2]

We live in a county with several grammar schools.

DS1 took his 11+ and will be going to a grammar school in September. He started one hour once a week tutoring in about Nov of Y5.

DS2 is not a reader like DS1. He's also a July baby. So I've booked him in a little earlier (June Y4).

He doesn't want to go and is in tears. AIBU to send him anyway? I'd rather not, but because I don't want to deal with him being difficult about going. DS1 was the same and I sent him anyway. DS2 always feels a little more fragile to me so I know I give into him more than I do DS1.

He's due there in just over an hour.

:(

[Yarp]

SORRY

I just skimmed before and missed that you'd tried to tutor before

[ChuffinAda]

It is possible. I know my dcs levels and we get termly progress reports of how they're doing.

[Yarp]

Also, IME children change a lot in year 5, so I think you can afford to leave it a bit longer and then re-assess. He is probably getting tired at the end of this academic year, excited about Summer things coming up at school, and not wanting to face extra work

[tutorproof]

I rang a tutor last week on a bit of a recce.

He said he had some Y5 starting now which he thought was a bit late but after Christmas would be fine.

I suppose then it's whether the spaces will be taken up by then or not.

I know at least 2 of DS friends who've had tutors since beginning of Y4. This is madness in my opinion & both stand very good chance of passing regardless. However, I suppose it could mean that tutoring is more normal to them and it's not so fixated on 11+.

It's a minefield!

[Fluffcake]

Has ds2 been round to look at the schools yet? Some of the grammars do their open days in June/July. I found that ds seeing the schools helped to focus him. I wouldn't start the tutor until September but maybe work through some books over the holidays. Dcs used scholfield and sims for maths and bond for English and verbal reasoning. DS is not a reader but we found some books he liked and got him to read 10 minutes a night (never a minute more!) Also, the tutor we used was more a general tutor rather than 11+ specialist do it took a bit of pressure off but I had to make sure he did plenty of practice papers in lead up to tests. If he worked hard he got to do a bit of drawing (his passion and tutor also did art) at the end of the session.
That said, friend of ds's little brother drew aeroplanes on his exam paper as he didn't want to go to the same school as his big brother

[Fourarmsv2]

I bribed heavily.

I promised one week and if he hated it never again.

He is an angel at school - the best child a teacher could hope for behaviour wise.

He went in. Behaved like she was a teacher. And had a lovely time doing 45 mins of challenging maths with a bit of sneaky VR and NVR at the end.

He came home and immediately wrote his next session date and time on the calendar. :) :) :) :) :)

To tutor or not to tutor. I feel first do no harm. CEM tutoring helps them academically. It brought DS1 on - of course it would - school is 25h per week in a class of 30. An hour of tutoring 1:1 and two hours of homework with parental assistance has to help.

It's apparently a tutor proof test but improving exam technique, speed, general maths and vocab has got to help surely?

To the poster that asked - yes this was 'something new' whinging. I'm glad I trusted my instinct that he'd enjoy it once in. :)

[IvyBean]

Not everybody does Chuffin and kids can fluctuate.Think one of mine was just 4s at end of year 5. He flew through the 11+ and sat level 6s in everything.Primary schools differ hugely in how much they push kids,it's hardly a level playing field so going by levels is pointless imvho.

[Fourarmsv2]

He's been round my school and the one DS1 will go to. I will take him to the tours too though.

He wants to go to my school (super selective), but was just scared of going by himself to the tutor.

He does maths workbooks for fun, he wasn't scared of the work. :)

[morethanpotatoprints]

Whats the difference between selective and super selective?

[Fluffcake]

Sirchen, my dcs went to a tutor as to pass the test, children pretty much have to have finished KS2 curriculum by beginning of year 6. That's not likely to happen in state primaries. I could coach dcs for maths and vr but DS had to do English papers as well, which is very difficult to coach if you are not a professional. As op said, going to a tutor helps focus you and DC as well. All kids need to do practice test papers as many are multiple choice and kids don't tend to do that at primary schools.
Despite not going to a tutor since passing his 11+, we have regularly had letters home telling us that DS is in top 20% of his year (not so subtle boast).

[Fourarmsv2]

7 grammars in surrounding area.

For varying reasons one is the top choice for most parents. So you have to be in top 125 of all 2000 to gain a place.

No other reason - all entry criteria are the same.

[IvyBean]

Camel so do those who come from better,pusher primaries flounder hugely when the advantages of a better primary education and the very unlevel playing field are taken away?

I doubt mine or their mates will flounder,they're top groups for everything and several are G&T. They didn't find the tutoring a stretch just some material that needed to be covered.

Also not all kids are all rounders. Many kids will be less able in one area than another.They may well be say a genius in maths but need to work harder in languages.Or v able at science but less able at English.Hardly a hardship.

[HairyMcMary]

Mangolimes: has the OP said the comprehensives are 'not great '? She has said that having taught in one local gram and A Local Comprehensive she would prefer the gram (just to reverse the usual
way of talking about these types of schools).
OP: have you discussed this with him in advance ? How academically confident is he? Can you get a tutor to come to you?

It sounds as if the issue is to do with shyness rather than academics : can't you go with him the first time and stay, while he grew to know the tutor?

What happened in the end this evening?

[HairyMcMary]

Sorry, interrupted half way through post and missed your update.

[AtomicDog]

Lots of my children' peers have been tutored for years to pass 11+. There are so few places, and parents are desperate for them to get in. Some began in Y2 and Y3

morethan- super-selective don't have catchments so take far, far fewer children locally, as people from miles and miles around will attempt the entrance test. You don't just have to 'pass', you have to be in top 150 passing (i.e. way above the 'pass' mark).

[morethanpotatoprints]

Thank you camel hump

What I don't understand is why do parents sort out tutors to pass a test to go to a certain school.
why not wait and see if the children are interested, its they that have to attend the school.
Also, if they have to be tutored to pass the test, does that mean they're a bit dim then? Aren't you supposed to be able to turn up on the day, take the exam and if bright enough offered a place.
How will they keep up with the ones who didn't need 2 years tutoring to pass.
Some dc are a level 6 without even trying, my dds friend is like this.
she did all the nvr nr? books for fun, no tutor. We don't have grammars up here.

[Fluffcake]

Hi thought super- selective meant no catchment at all or majority of places going to no catchment (students ranked on test score), then other larger catchments in place.

[IvyBean]

You need to read the thread Morethan primary schools,experience,circumstances and home life differ hugely.All will have a huge impact.

I honestly believe the CEM needs good quality,thorough,rigorous maths teaching for a long time before it and a huge exposure to masses of books. If you haven't had that you are at a disadvantage which is probably why since it's introduction in some areas it was reported that numbers of privately educated kids getting grammar places actually went up.

[Fluffcake]

More than, I certainly wouldn't like to turn up to a test I hadn't prepared for!
When I was at primary school, whole borough took the 11+. My primary pretty much divided kids up from year 4 by ability and we were coached. I probably had more coaching overall than my dcs put together.

[IonaNE]

Glad for you and DS, op. :)

[ChuffinAda]

Problem with the super selectives here is that many of the children are doing commutes most adults would baulk at. They are simply exhausted.
It's why two of the most popular have set up a 10-15 mile radius for their catchment. Both to enable local kids to attend and also to stop the endless commutes and exhausted children. Problem is those parents simply send the kids to the schools further away in this county

The other issue with this aside from student welfare is why should I as a taxpayer in this Lea pay for children from other counties to be educated here? It really makes me angry.