To think £40 is not too much to put in a wedding card?

[Chuckitinthefuckitbucket]

Going to the evening reception of a wedding tonight. Dp wants to put £20 in card, I say £40.
It was a small wedding ceremony and I've known the bride a couple of years. I think £20 would probably just cover what she's spending on feeding us and feel £40 is better to give.
How much do you guys put in cards (when they've asked for money instead of gifts)
Th

[Bambambini]

We would give 40 rather than 20 but depends if you can afford it.

[irregularegular]

I've never given (or received) money as a wedding present. I'm surprised it's seem as a normal thing to do. Don't they have a list?

[irregularegular]

But I think £20 is an OK amount to spend on a present for someone you don't know very well and are only going to the evening reception. On the low side, but OK. I'd probably aim for about £30.

[Artandco]

Irregular - most couples live together now before married so often they don't need anything house wise like people used to. Hence money given now so people can use towards larger thing like house extension/ car/ honeymoon

[Redglitter]

I'd say £40. I spent £20 on gifts for a wedding I wasn't going to

[Fleecyleesy]

I think £30 is more than fine for an evening do.

[5madthings]

Dh and I have been together 17yrs and have five kid's, we didn't need Anything for the house really. So no gift list and we actually specified no presents at al, especially as guests were paying for their meal. But they still gave us money, drink and other gifts. I am just in the process of sorting out little Thsnkyou notes actually.


Out of the weddings I have been to in the last few years only one had a gift list. We gave cash to all the others even if they had said no gifts.

[irregularegular]

If people are at the stage in their life when they don't really need anything then I'd be less inclined to spend large amounts. Who ever said that just because someone is getting married you have to hand over cash?? I wouldn't give someone cash for a birthday or Christmas present, apart from tweens and teens who clearly appreciate £10-20 more than I do.

I've been to a few weddings in recent years for couples of various ages from 30 to 60. I've given fine wine, plants for the garden, restaurant vouchers, charity donations - as asked for or as seemed appropriate. Never cash and it's never been hinted at.

[irregularegular]

Giving cash just seems to take all the joy out of it - unless eg. you know that they couldn't afford a honeymoon otherwise and that is what they are spending it on. I guess I could live with that.

[Cherryblossomsinspring]

In Ireland it would be normal to get a lot more but England does very small wedding gifts so £40 would be fine I'm sure. It's honestly whatever you want to give but never give an amount that you are left worrying 'was it right' for months after. If you are worrying, it was either too much or too little.

[Cherryblossomsinspring]

Get=give

[timelyreminder]

I think a card only, or a small gift, would be fine from an evening-only guest.

[LaurieMarlow]

£40 sounds reasonable to me. If I was giving less than this I wouldn't give cash, but give it in the form of a present and tart it up/make it look nice. The wine glasses idea up thread is a good one.

[LaurieMarlow]

Cherryblossom, I totally agree, there is a cultural difference in Ireland and there giving more is very much the norm. Not sure why this is the case.

Same for work collections/leaving dos.

[whatever22]

How much your friends spent hosting you is irrelevant. Give based on the friendship and what you can afford. I give more for weddings than birthdays etc because it's a 'once in a lifetime' type thing, but the actual amount has varied over the years with my income.

[Salene]

We put £100 if day guests and £50 if night

£20 is in my eyes a bit stingy unless it's genuinely all that you can afford

[5madthings]

irregular we didn't ask for cash, we specified no gifts at all. But were given it anyway, wr also got alcohol and restaurant vouchers etc. The cash was given to treat ourselves as like many parents it's something we can neglect yo do. So we used it for meals out, cinema etc on our three nights away after the wedding.

I think it's just that people want to give a gift and sometimes cash is easiest and you know it will be appreciated, certainly that's how our friends felt and we're happy we used it to treat ourselves.

[123Jump]

Thread here on some of the differences between British and Irish weddings.
OP, if you're more comfortable with £40 then do it.

[VacantExpression]

If you are debating between £20 and £40 why not just give £30?

For someone I describe as a friend of a friend £20 would be a stretch. My sister is getting married this year and she will probably get £30-£40. Its relative to what you can afford and no decent friend would want you going short to give them a present surely.

[doublechocchip]

We do £20 for an evening do but we quite often gift wrap that days newspaper (the times usually) as well just as a little memento for the bride and groom to keep.

[MissBattleaxe]

I'd be embarrassed to give £20 but I can completely see it's acceptable among some communities. If the OP doesn't cringe at £20 maybe it's ok, but I think she knows her DP is just being tight.

You see I don't think that's being tight. Maybe I live in a poorer area but I would hate for any of my guests to have money anxiety just because I was getting married.