To think £40 is not too much to put in a wedding card?

[Chuckitinthefuckitbucket]

Going to the evening reception of a wedding tonight. Dp wants to put £20 in card, I say £40.
It was a small wedding ceremony and I've known the bride a couple of years. I think £20 would probably just cover what she's spending on feeding us and feel £40 is better to give.
How much do you guys put in cards (when they've asked for money instead of gifts)
Th

[Dreamiesrcatopium]

Our circle of friends all seem to stick to the same amounts. 50 for all day 30 evening. If its family or myself or DH are in the wedding party(which seems to be a lot the last few years) we either go up to 80 or give a nice meaningful friendship kinda thing along with the 50.

[GatoNaranja]

Jeez, MN is a different world sometimes.

£20 is plenty for an evening guest, even a day guest. I wouldn't judge anyone for the amount they spent on me, if anything I'd feel slightly embarrassed by anyone feeling they had to be extravagant.

A wedding gift is supposed to be given voluntarily anyway. It's not a question of value, it's a case of just giving whatever you feel inclined to as a token of affection and best wishes for the happy couple.

I was invited to a big wedding as an evening guest. I couldn't make it but gave the bride a card with a tenner in it to spend on a couple of drinks at the airport! She was v thankful even though it wasn't much, and I would have been too, had it been me.

Gifts really are a token not compulsory, at least that's how I see them, whether I'm giving or receiving.

[stolenview]

O don't for evening.

Usually 50 pp for day

[MrsTedCrilly]

You'll always get different answers on here as there is such a wide spectrum of people! Totally depends on you and what you can afford.. I gave £40 for a close friend and felt that was very generous.

[redshoeblueshoe]

MrsTed - she said this is a friend of a friend, therefore not a close friend

[MrsTedCrilly]

Yes I'm just giving context, I felt £40 was generous for my close friend, so a friend of a friend would be less.

[Shakey1500]

I'd just meet on the middle and put £30 in

[MissBattleaxe]

That'a a £30 invite in my book. £100+ - family and close friends, £50+ - friends, £30 - evening do

Great if you've got that kind of money spare. Many couldn't afford those figures.

[Anotheronebitthedust]

Ooh, I'm going to piggybank onto this thread (sorry OP) and ask if people would give more if two good friends were marrying each other, as is happening in a wedding I'm going to soon? Originally I thought yes, I'd give roughly double, because that's how much I would have spent if they were marrying separately, iyswim? But then if, as here, people are equating it roughly with the cost of feeding/paying for you as a guest then maybe not, as I would only be costing them one wedding's worth!

OP, in your case I'd go for £30 as a compromise, as others have said.

[Artandco]

£50 per adult attending is usual here. So usually £100 in card in cash or vouchers for dh , myself and x2 little ones attending.

Unfortunately we also have a large number of friends living abroad due to ourselves also living there at some point, so wedding attending usually costs a fair bit as involves flight and hotel and car hire costs. But we generally stay a few days before or after and turn it into a small holiday as family also to make flights more worth it

[BabyMurloc]

I usually do £20. Our usual "budget" for anyone outside of our family unit of kids/parents/siblings/nephews&nieces is £10 - £20 birthdays £20-£30 weddings, depending who it is and what we have available money wise at the time. If that makes me "tight" I don't care tbh. It is what I have and what we can decently afford as a benchmark. Like it or lump it.

[crustsaway]

£20 in my mind is a bit mean, £40 is fine.

[WeAreEternal]

As a general rule we give £100 as a day guest. As an evening guest we give £60.

Although if it is a close friend or family we give a lot more.
when my best friend got married a few years ago we gave her 5k

I think the important thing it to just give what you can afford.

[MrsItsNoworNotatAll]

It would be £20 here. Nice if you can afford to give more but I can't.

[MelodyPM]

I've never given money in evening invites - just a card. DH & I didn't expect our evening guests to give us presents / cash - it's just not the done thing among our friends. As day guests we always give £20, it's all we can afford. I have ended up playing the violin at several of my friend's weddings and it's saved them ££££, so that's been my main gift to them.

[ThroughThickAndThin01]

£40, definitely.

[PrincessOfChina]

I really don't think MN is a "different world" if the vast majority of posters are suggesting they give similar amounts. And every single poster has also said that giving nothing but a card is also more than acceptable.

Guests at our wedding have anything from nothing to a card to £1k. I would say the average was £30 for evening guests though which tallies with what I generally give. We were rather embarrassed when several guests logged back on to our travel account after the wedding and gave more as we had a free bar!

[3luckystars]

In Ireland so its different. Feel free to ignore.
The average here is to give (per couple) €150 for full day, €200 for good friend
€250 for family member

Then for afters €50 to €100 and same amount if you cant attend.

Weddings are poisonous expensive to attend as a guest here, between hotel, gift and everything it could be €600 to €700. That's probably why I hate them.

[lightgreenglass]

£30 for evening guests I would say is fine. We give close friends £100, not so close £50-60.

[Szeli]

£20 is about average from our wedding. More people gave booze

[RichPetunia]

I'd say it's best to meet in the middle, so give £30.

[youareallbonkers]

I Wouldn't give cash. And to ask for cash? How rude and grabby

[lozster]

I used to go for £40 until I read a similar thread on here where the most common figure mentioned was £20. I then went down to this especially as evening do's now seem to involve no food and no drink. Heck, the last one I went to had no seats- just the tables from the day do with the day guests still sitting on them. What happened to hospitality?!

[drinkscabinet]

I think it depends how much you can afford. Obviously if you are on a low income £20 is generous but if you are comfortable £40 is a reasonable amount for an evening guest. Having said that some people are just tight FIL so as a quick tip if you afford several holidays abroad a year then £20 is too little for a wedding present.