AIBU to not know about babies and petrol stations?

[Beth2511]

Since DD was born I've always avoided filling up on my own so not to have this problem but need to figure it out. Say I have 6 month DD in car when I need petrol, when it comes to paying do I leave her? Do I take her with me?

Baffles me.

[YouMakeMyHeartSmile]

sanfairy true! I wasn't actually using it as an argument for or against people leaving their children in the car, as I said above I neither notice nor care what others do. Just info to form part of a risk assessment!

[Stanky]

I have always taken mine in with me. I suppose that I thought that a weirdo might take them, or the car could catch light. This is all in my head, and I seem to like making my own life more difficult. I do not judge others for leaving dc in the car while they pay. I like it when I can pay at the pump, but they're always disabling it because there are so many drive offs.

[Mehitabel6]

I judge those who hold everyone up removing children - it would be such a pain to be behind them in the queue. It is completely selfish behaviour.
What astounds me is that in 30yrs or so of filling up at petrol stations I have never once seen it happen- everyone is in a hurry.

[MissDuke]

I am starting to think I must live in a very quiet part of the world, as I rarely have to queue for petrol when I have the children with me - maybe this is because if I have them, then I am using a local petrol station, not a supermarket one and it is usually mid morning or early afternoon rather than rush hour. Sometimes if I stop at sainsbury's on my way from work then I would have to queue, but the children aren't with me then.

Also, all my local stations have shops too so I would usually be getting a few groceries, and perhaps using the cash machine.

Apparently though that is selfish behaviour, as I might hold someone up who is in a hurry

Some people on here are shockingly impatient, perhaps you would be better sticking to the pay at pump places if in such a rush, then this wouldn't be an issue?

[treaclesoda]

When my first child was a baby I always took dd and into the kiosk, not really because I was convinced it was wrong to leave her, but because that was what I saw everyone else doing and then I was scared that I would be judged as being neglectful . I never saw anyone leave their babies in the car, and like most first time mums I was terrified of doing something wrong.

By the time I had my second, I was thinking 'sod it' and I would leave him for the minute or so that it took to pay. And I brazened out the dirty looks and the tuts.

But, having said that, my eldest is now 9 and has never sat in a car alone as she is terrified (claustrophobia - she can't bear to be in the car alone as she is afraid of getting locked in). She has been like this since she was big enough to speak and voice her fears. It is like in some weird way I was instinctively right from the start with her, even though I didn't actually know it.

[ilovesooty]

My local per station has a few bays at the side of the forecourt for people shopping. If I use it I buy my petrol first then move the car if I want to shop for anything apart from picking up something quickly at the counter. There are three petrol pumps and it would be exceptionally selfish to leave my car at one while I shopped.

And yes, I'm invariably busy when I stop for petrol but I can't use pay at pump
I don't have a card that's accepted.

[MissDuke]

squeaky I walk my 10 year old right to where she must line up outside school, I do find it sad that others might see this as a sign that I am judging them as negligent for not doing the same? The truth is, she has ASD and would have a meltdown if I didn't. Lots of the parents are unaware of this.

I know some people do make it clear they think they are superior due to their parenting choices, but why does this only apply to those who are more careful? The people on this thread who leave the children are the only ones being rude and nasty, and judging others choices. I really am shocked that people (like ilovesooty) think I am rude and selfish for doing it.

Not having a go by the way, you are one of the few who have been polite here

[ilovesooty]

MissDuke I doubt that taking a ten year old into the kiosk adds any time or holds anyone up.

I do think taking toddlers in, unloading and reloading several children, readjusting car seats and blocking petrol pumps while you drop fall into the inconsiderate category though.

[ilovesooty]

Shop not drop.

[Mehitabel6]

If I am going to get shopping I would get petrol first- move the car from the pump and park and then get it- if it was more than a quick grab of a few items. Even if it is quiet as you go in you can't know how it will be when you are inside. That way you can remove the baby without upsetting anyone if you are going to be longer and you don't cross the forecourt.
I can't see a problem with a 10 yr old getting out- they can be quicker than you and do their own seatbelt.

[Squeakycleansparkle]

Stankey do you find yourself doing other similarly overprotective things?

[girliefriend]

I never gave this a second thought when dd was a baby, she was normally asleep in the car and there was no way I was going to wake a sleeping baby up to pay for petrol. As long as I could see the car from the till I would always leave her in the car.

Mind you I would quite often leave dd asleep in the car in front of my house rather than risk waking her to bring her in, I could see the car and would check on her frequently.

Some how she has survived!!

It is only through mn that I have ever heard of cars spontaneously bursting into flames.

[GiraffesAndButterflies]

If I was selfish I would leave DD in the car and not care that she would be distraught when I got back. Just because I'm not prioritising the person behind me in the queue doesn't make me selfish. I've weighed up the minute's inconvenience to the person behind vs the distress to DD and decided which one is worse.

[pictish]

Have a chocolate medal.

[Marynary]

I avoided getting petrol when dds were in the car . Unless your are a single parent or live miles from any petrol station it is quite easy to do.
If you have to get petrol while they are with you I think it would probably be safer to leave them in the car.

[Mehitabel6]

If you get your baby used to it from the very start they are not distressed- they expect it. Half the time they are asleep anyway.
If they are going to be distressed then go for petrol if they are asleep in the car.
It will be far more than a minute's inconvenience to the person who makes the mistake of getting behind you.

[Stanky]

Squeakycleansparkle, possibly. I don't leave them alone any where. I walk with them to school, and go to the park with them. Worst case scenarios are always running through my head.

[treaclesoda]

Mehitabel I left my son in the car whilst I paid, when he was a newborn, so you'd imagine he would have been used to it. But by the time he was about nine months old he screamed blue murder if I tried to leave him in the car, so getting them used to it doesn't necessarily work unfortunately.

[sashh]

If you are paying cash then you could try honking the horn to get attention.

This is what you have to do if you have a disability and can't fill up the tank.

Maybe there should be a 'baby in car' sign you could wave to get attention.

[TheEggityOddity]

I had this parental angst the first time round. This time I will leave them to wail in the back while I pay if it isn't a queue, and watch them with mock concern from the window while secretly enjoying not having to listen to the crying for two minutes.

[TheEggityOddity]

Also, am I the only one who has tried to play peekaboo with child while filling up to keep them entertained, only to completely freak them out and get calls of "mummy, mummy, come back, booby!"

[ilovesooty]

Having a baby in the car is hardly the same as having a disability. I don't see why staff should have to come out to assist people on the basis that they have a baby with them.

[DeidreChambersWhatACoincidence]

I used to leave mine in the car (3dc 3yrs and younger) and only if I could see the car. The logistics of getting them all out and back in again was too tricky and more dangerous to them. Like many things in life and esp in parenting you make a risk assessment.

The only person in rl who tried to make me feel bad about it had 1dc to manage not 3.

[Cheby]

Finding this thread quite refreshing actually, I've always left DD in the car (she's now 2), as long as I can see her from the window. I judge the risk of getting her out of the car seat to be far worse; my arse would be stuck out of the car while I wrestle with the straps to get her in/out, there's always the risk that she will decided she doesn't want to go back in (she's a toddler!) so then it would take longer and she would be squirming, she could easily bolt and probably most likely idiots drive off without looking so even if I was carrying her there is a risk of us being run over.

I said all this on an FB parenting group recently and was absolutely slated! Nice to see the majority of people here assess the risks in the same way as I do, was starting to worry I was being unreasonable (despite never having seen anyone bring their kids into a petrol station anyway).