AIBU to not know about babies and petrol stations?

[Beth2511]

Since DD was born I've always avoided filling up on my own so not to have this problem but need to figure it out. Say I have 6 month DD in car when I need petrol, when it comes to paying do I leave her? Do I take her with me?

Baffles me.

[however]

I've alwas left them on the car. No locked doors, windows open mostly.

I am either entirely reasonable, or unfit to parent, depending on your point of view.

[TheForger]

I've left them I. The car -did take pfb in once and then decided it wasn't worth it. I would love to know how I would have taken my twins in? When babies I couldn't carry both out of their seats and if they were in their seats my back wouldn't have taken it ( I once tried carrying both and spectacularly knackered my back). The only way would be to get the pram out fasten both in and hope it would go through the door. Reverse it coming out again. Bet everyone would love to be behind me. They were both used to being left from an early age and weren't worried about it. I never plan my life down to the detail of having someone else in the car with me when I need to get petrol or going out in the evening to get it.

[however]

In the car, not on.

[MissDuke]

^however if you read all the replies, you will see the posters who leave the children in the car are being really offensive to those of us who won't leave them, I just don't understand why! I don't care if they leave their children, why do they care if I take mine?

[Rainicorn]

I've always left in the car and paid. You'll only be a couple of minutes.

[Rainicorn]

Plus if someone did actually take my car with DC in they'd sharp bring the little sods back.

[Goatlington]

Because when I am waiting to get fuel someone faffing around removing a perrfectly safe child, tottering in to pay, back out , re faffing is a right PITA, that's why!!

[kungfupannda]

Like previous posters, everyone I see leaves children in the car.

I once saw someone lugging a baby-seat while trying to haul two other small children across the forecourt, but otherwise people just run in and pay.

[TheFairyCaravan]

I always left mine in the car with the doors locked. It takes 2 minutes to pay for petrol, not 2 hours. Now I get left in the car, they fill up and pay!

[pictish]

Forger I didn't have twins but a small age gap and your post just made me lol. Of course what you say is bang on.

[Summertimeplease]

I used to leave mine. You can usually see your car from the kiosk anyway.

Once though I left my dd in the car while I took shopping bags into the house. Within seconds she had got into the passenger seat and let the handbrake off. The car was on a slight incline and off she drove down the road.

My whole life flashed before me.

[kungfupannda]

Also, as a criminal lawyer for 14 years, I have never heard of anyone being arrested for child neglect in any 'exercising common sense' type situation. Never represented anyone for leaving a child in the car when paying for petrol/popping into a small shop/going to the cashpoint/running into a nursery with a carpark directly outside etc

The cases I have dealt with involving children being unsupervised have been young children being left home alone for long periods of time, children getting out and wandering away from home while a parent slept during the day, young children being left in a park while parent went shopping, toddler being left sleeping in a camper van while parents socialised at a house completely out of sight and round a corner.

If the car is in sight of a parent, no-one in authority is realistically going to be making accusations of neglect. If a car is out of sight and the children are left for more than a minute or two, words of advice would probably be given. If children are left entirely unattended with a parent nowhere near, with no prospect of knowing if something was wrong, that's when people like the police are going to get involved.

[Beth2511]

I went to the petrol station this morning, all ready to leave her in the car knowing it is actually perfectly acceptable. As soon as I went out of view she went into meltdown mode so had to come with. I do feel happy now knowing that if she was happy I would be fine to leave her.

[Beth2511]

Got the filthiest look from the person behind for taking her but there wasn't much I could do when she was having a massive meltdown

[MehsMum]

I always left my kids in the car. There was never an issue. Not once did anybody get out to come and find me, let the handbrake off or anything like that. The worst that ever happened was the odd sibling squabble, or a seatbelt being undone to pick up something the baby had dropped.

My theory always was - in as much as I thought about it all - that it was more dangerous to herd the cats DC across the forecourt than leave them in a warm, dry, car.

[ChocolateWombat]

I always left mine in the car.
The thing I didn't like about doing it, was the phase when DS didn't like being left anywhere alone (he would cry if I left the room to go to the loo, or to make a cup of tea, or to go into pay for petrol). So I would be going in to pay and through the kiosk window could see DS with a huge red face and tears and know he was crying at top volume. And of course, people did look around to see who was the 'cruel' parent who left her child alone.

However, I continued and didn't take him in....I knew he had to just learn to cope being alone for a minute or two. It is why I continued to go to the loo alone too. In the end, I trusted my judgement as a sensible parent and wasn't prepared to bow to the baby (who would have then found it harder to be left in the car as a toddler, as would have got used to getting out) or to the glances of the public. The important thing was I knew he was safe and I assessed the situation. I trust my own judgement and think more people should do this rather than worrying about what other people think.

[confused79]

I've always left my kids in the car. The way I see it, it's safer for them to be there than dragged across the forecourt.
But some parents would argue that that's just laziness

[Writerwannabe83]

As a previous poster said, there are plenty if posters on here being quite nasty, critical and patronising towards those who take there children in yet nobody is having a dig at those who choose to leave them in the car.

Some women perceive there to be more risk at taking the children across the forecourt and other women perceive there to be more risk at leaving the children in the car.

I have no idea why 'risk assessment' keeps bring thrown around with the implication that women who take their child/baby with them are not able to do it. Of course they can. They have risk assessed and they simply came up with a different result to the women whose risk assessment led them to leave their baby/child in the car.

I didn't realise that there was one correct answer to this debate and that every mother who takes their baby/child with them is a moron who obviously can't risk assess and it's pretty offensive to suggest it.

[drspouse]

I found out the hard way that if you can see the car, and the children, but put the alarm on, the toddler can set it off.

[ilovesooty]

I've never seen anyone faffing around taking children out, taking them into the kiosk and putting them back in the car, thank goodness.
I hope it doesn't become a thing in my area. Queues for petrol are long enough as it is.

[cleoteacher]

Leave in car and lock the door. I would take my 3 mo dd in if she was crying and not happy though but would leave ds 2.5.

[MissDuke]

writer what a relief to see someone thinking the same!

ilovesooty if queues are that bad, then it is not going to take just two minutes to pay, is it. And to clarify - it really does not take long for me to get my dd in and out given that I am well practiced at it!

[Writerwannabe83]

I wonder if the older the child gets the easier it is to leave them in terms of not worrying about it so much?

DS is 14 months now and I could imagine myself leaving him in the car whereas when he was a baby/infant I would never have left him.

[YouMakeMyHeartSmile]

Who are all these people faffing so long with car seats? My baby seat clicked in and out on an isofix base. Toddler seat is just a case of toddler jumping in and me doing the straps up!

[ilovesooty]

MissDuke it still takes longer than leaving your child in the car and just because you're quick it doesn't mean everyone is. I certainly hope I don't get stuck behind someone taking four children in. How unbelievably inconsiderate.