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AIBU?

Not to tell my DCs they have Trust Funds?

59 replies

Onthedoorstep · 14/01/2015 16:14

We are NOT well off but a relative has recently died and I've discovered my children have (shockingly) been left enough money in Trust funds to pay for their university education (nothing for the rest of us!). :)

I don't want to tell them. At the moment they are not of the age where it matters, but I am worried that if it gets out that (a) they will take it for granted and (b) ex-husband will stop saving for them!

What is the right way of handling this?

OP posts:

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TeWiSavesTheDay · 15/01/2015 16:38

Bizarre Hatie! Was she mean or confused?

A friend of mine used to yet birthday cheques made out for shillings etc from an elderly relative in the 90s!

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2rebecca · 15/01/2015 16:50

My kids knew about money they had like this and my ex knew and I knew about money my ex's relatives have put in trust for the kids.
If you wouldn't expect your ex to tell you about a similar issue on his side of the family then don't tell him.
It's handy for kids to know money isn't a big issue when deciding on careers age 16-17 though.

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OneNight · 15/01/2015 16:59

My father left a very modest amount of money for each of his grandchildren to help with their future education or other necessities. So far, nearly all of the youngsters have been remarkably sensible about it. (One found out about it and within days it seems that the rest knew.)

I only wish the same could be said for their parents, most of whom appear to be factoring the money into their own spending plans.

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trilbydoll · 15/01/2015 16:59

Just to add to the 'student loan is no big deal' - I hate DH's student loan, I really resent it. We could use that £200 a month, we are not on the breadline by any stretch of the imagination, but that £200 a month would make a big difference.

I didn't go to uni, I am a chartered accountant. The big firms are doing 6 year apprenticeships now, you do a degree and the ACA from 18. Really good idea imo.

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mix56 · 15/01/2015 17:08

my dad left money for my kids, they don't know about it, I will give it 'em when they need it, fortunately for them they haven't so far....!
If it had been a question re Uni/other big finance dilemma I would have told them at that time.
I know for a fact if they had the money in their account it would have been burnt instantly !!
It was stipulated that it only be given by me if I was OK with the manner with which it would be spent, so for me that would mean travel, deposit on flat, new car, or obviously if they are set up with their own family they would have it..

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Namechangeyetagaintohide · 15/01/2015 17:24

I personally really dislike the idea of lying by omission about something like this.

They would be better getting the loans anyway as most of the time they aren't even paid back or at least not the full amount. I fully expect to never pay off mine. I'd suggest keeping the funds for left over living expenses at uni or as a deposit on a house.

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Namechangeyetagaintohide · 15/01/2015 17:25

£200 a month trilby gosh how much does he earn ?!

I don't even notice mine going out it's so insignificant.

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Namechangeyetagaintohide · 15/01/2015 17:28

Plus the threshold to pay off the newer loans is even higher.

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Namechangeyetagaintohide · 15/01/2015 17:31

Actually I'd be very confused and probably upset that my parents kept something like this from me - presumably because they didn't trust me. I can't believe people actually do that.

Thankfully they did not although they did not approve of my choice of purchase with my inheritance (suppose it could be defined as cosmetic surgery although it wasn't exactly - I had just missed he window to have it done on the NHS).