Not to tell my DCs they have Trust Funds?

[Onthedoorstep]

We are NOT well off but a relative has recently died and I've discovered my children have (shockingly) been left enough money in Trust funds to pay for their university education (nothing for the rest of us!). :)

I don't want to tell them. At the moment they are not of the age where it matters, but I am worried that if it gets out that (a) they will take it for granted and (b) ex-husband will stop saving for them!

What is the right way of handling this?

[Namechangeyetagaintohide]

Actually I'd be very confused and probably upset that my parents kept something like this from me - presumably because they didn't trust me. I can't believe people actually do that.

Thankfully they did not although they did not approve of my choice of purchase with my inheritance (suppose it could be defined as cosmetic surgery although it wasn't exactly - I had just missed he window to have it done on the NHS).

[Namechangeyetagaintohide]

Plus the threshold to pay off the newer loans is even higher.

[Namechangeyetagaintohide]

£200 a month trilby gosh how much does he earn ?!

I don't even notice mine going out it's so insignificant.

[Namechangeyetagaintohide]

I personally really dislike the idea of lying by omission about something like this.

They would be better getting the loans anyway as most of the time they aren't even paid back or at least not the full amount. I fully expect to never pay off mine. I'd suggest keeping the funds for left over living expenses at uni or as a deposit on a house.

[mix56]

my dad left money for my kids, they don't know about it, I will give it 'em when they need it, fortunately for them they haven't so far....!
If it had been a question re Uni/other big finance dilemma I would have told them at that time.
I know for a fact if they had the money in their account it would have been burnt instantly !!
It was stipulated that it only be given by me if I was OK with the manner with which it would be spent, so for me that would mean travel, deposit on flat, new car, or obviously if they are set up with their own family they would have it..

[trilbydoll]

Just to add to the 'student loan is no big deal' - I hate DH's student loan, I really resent it. We could use that £200 a month, we are not on the breadline by any stretch of the imagination, but that £200 a month would make a big difference.

I didn't go to uni, I am a chartered accountant. The big firms are doing 6 year apprenticeships now, you do a degree and the ACA from 18. Really good idea imo.

[OneNight]

My father left a very modest amount of money for each of his grandchildren to help with their future education or other necessities. So far, nearly all of the youngsters have been remarkably sensible about it. (One found out about it and within days it seems that the rest knew.)

I only wish the same could be said for their parents, most of whom appear to be factoring the money into their own spending plans.

[2rebecca]

My kids knew about money they had like this and my ex knew and I knew about money my ex's relatives have put in trust for the kids.
If you wouldn't expect your ex to tell you about a similar issue on his side of the family then don't tell him.
It's handy for kids to know money isn't a big issue when deciding on careers age 16-17 though.

[TeWiSavesTheDay]

Bizarre Hatie! Was she mean or confused?

A friend of mine used to yet birthday cheques made out for shillings etc from an elderly relative in the 90s!

[HatieKokpins]

My grandmother spent years and years and years telling me about the money she was putting in a bank account for me, and how she'd give it to me when "the time was right".

Eventually the time came, and she handed over the passbook telling me to be responsible with it, and not waste it.

There was 7.50 in there. Can't even remember what I spent it on now.

[LineRunner]

I wonder what the trust fund document actually says.

[Runnyhunny]

Why is it even an issue? When discussing their futures, just say "when you go to uni.."

[IHaveBrilloHair]

If I had my way dd wouldn't have got her money until 30, but it wasn't my decision to make.
I am putting plans in place now so she can live at home rent free and have a decent choice of uni, and it's still 5 years away, she will not be told about her trust fund.

[skylark2]

I think you need to be careful that they don't make uni plans without full information, for instance discounting going to somewhere with higher living costs because they think they can't afford it when in fact they can.

They don't need to know about it before that point.

[IHaveBrilloHair]

Dd has one which she will get at 21, I have no plans on telling her about it.

[MaryWestmacott]

Cottage, not sure I agree with that, I don't think students work ethics are particularly higher now than 'when I were a lass' and it was free (until the year I went - not bitter), and many got living grants that were perfectly enough to pay hall fees with a bit left over.

(Plus the current system, they might not have to pay it back if they don't earn enough, it's not like you have it hanging over you when in a low paid job post uni, if you don't earn above a certain level, you never pay it).

[TeWiSavesTheDay]

I'm not sure that's true. I know quite a lot of people who went to university with trust funds or parents behind them sorting fees (& often more!) the only one that dropped out had a serious mental health breakdown and did eventually go back.
They're also all now in gainful employment.

They were all well aware that it was money for a specific purpose and that they would be in unbelievable family relationship ruining trouble if they wasted it which may also be relevant!

[cottageinthecountry]

Re buy to lets - you can't spend your children's trust fund on a buy to let property can you? Surely it depends on the wording of the Trust.

And I agree with others that paying up front for Uni fees is pointless. I think it will make them work harder at Uni if they know they're going to have to pay it back. If it's all paid for already they might think it's OK to drop out.

[BoredChurch]

We have always been open with our kids about the fact that all uni costs will be paid. I think it has encouraged them to work hard and be responsible with their money. Three of them are at university and none of them are wasters. I think the fact that the money was given to the makes them feel more responsible for doing it justice. They don't take it for granted at all and understand they are very, very fortuanatel. We have all had time to discuss it and 'enjoy' it. It takes so much stress out of the whole process and allows them to fully focus on their work. I can't see any reason why we would not have told them early - although it's probably of no interest to them until they are in their early teens.


I hope I'm not speaking too soon though as DC4 is yet to start Uni

[Babycham1979]

Elvera, the loan is only except value if the children either a) fail to get sufficiently well-paid jobs or b) decide to become SAHPs immediately after university. The loans are, in fact, appalling value for any potential medium- to high-earners. If they're particularly bright and ambitious, the money is better spent up-front on fees.

[Theboodythatrocked]

Yep travel while young agree.

Or in our case maybe with saga.

[SuisseRomandeMaman]

I wouldn't say anything.

My parents did that to me and my siblings. I obviously knew we were not poor when growing up but wasn't aware of any trust fund until i was mid 20s. My parents never made money a part of our childhood and i am really grateful for that.

[WillBeatJanuaryBlues]

*
Best to see what they want at 18 not what parents or family expect

very very true and to be honest I think funding a year out is also invaluable....travel world while young and free....people rarely get that chance again.

[WillBeatJanuaryBlues]

Interesting issue, but as its all new and exciting I would want to tell dc too, but dont....wait until much later....

[seaweed123]

Surely at some point it would be good to tell them, so they are aware of the options open to them? E.g. choosing the right subjects to allow them to do medicine/architecture/etc if they fancy it, rather than choosing a subject by its speed to earning potential.