Not to tell my DCs they have Trust Funds?

[Onthedoorstep]

We are NOT well off but a relative has recently died and I've discovered my children have (shockingly) been left enough money in Trust funds to pay for their university education (nothing for the rest of us!). :)

I don't want to tell them. At the moment they are not of the age where it matters, but I am worried that if it gets out that (a) they will take it for granted and (b) ex-husband will stop saving for them!

What is the right way of handling this?

[Onthedoorstep]

Good idea about buying a property to live in during university....

[Theboodythatrocked]

Nice problem to have though op.

[MaryWestmacott]

So do they get the lump sum at an older age (21? 25?) but the trustees can release funding early to pay for education if needed? So they wouldn't get it at 18 to fritter anyway?

I'd not tell them, closer to uni application age, you could mention there's some money they could access if funding was going to be a decision making factor, or even then, if it looks like your exH will have saved and offer to pay, keep it quiet that it could be accessed early, just "when xxx died they left you some money, it's held in trust until you are 25".

For those saying about the current loan system, if the ops dcs are younger than 13/14, I really wouldn't bank on the current funding and loans system being the one in place by the time her dcs get to uni age. Over the last 15 years the funding system has changed over and over and I wouldn't bank on the most recent change being the last.

[GokTwo]

I've been saving along with my parents for Dd. I'm hoping she'll end up with enough for a car or some funds for uni. I'm not going to tell her for a good long while. I can't see how it would help. It's not a life changing amount but at the same time I think if my parents had told me something like that at a young age I'd have obsessed about the various fripperies I wanted to spend it on!!

[Onthedoorstep]

It IS a lovely problem to have and will give the such an advantage - I'm very jealous!!

(Although I would have p*ssed it up the wall)

I don't think it DOES go to them at any age; it remains the responsibility of the Trustees to use it on their behalf.

[Theboodythatrocked]

Mmm we always told ours they were going to uni.

Ds1 although academic felt the pressure too much and had a complete breakdown. Had to leave. He's doing well now but uni wasn't for him.

Ds2,did great at uni.

Best to see what they want at 18 not what parents or family expect.

[Theboodythatrocked]

Ha ha I would have pissed it up the wall too op.

[MaryWestmacott]

Ooh, you need to find that out. And decide a point when you'll just trust them to make the decision about when/how it is spent if there's no specific stage it's accessible without trustee (and your) approval. (Otherwise you might find yourself morphing into that MIL who insist on going to view properties with their adult dcs and their DPs to decide if you think it's suitable, or deciding to judge if their wedding plans are quite how you'd like them... )

[ajandjjmum]

We were advised that it would prove difficult to hold off Trust money once a 'child' hit 21, as they could legally contest. Furthermore, our accountant is a Trustee, and said that he would be legally bound to advise them of the Trust when they were 18.

When my DC were early teens, they knew there was a 'small' amount of money coming to them. When they were 17/18 they became aware of the sort of figure (not a great unveil - just ongoing conversations). DS was fascinated, and has used his making sensible investments that are sound and have paid off. DD still has her sat in building society accounts! The difference in the level of interest is staggering.

I've always suggested that it's something they don't discuss with others, as it can make people think differently of you.

We have always emphasised that this money was hard earned, and that they need to think long and hard about spending it. DS will always ask 'What would have thought of me doing this?' It hasn't affect their work ethic.

[seaweed123]

Surely at some point it would be good to tell them, so they are aware of the options open to them? E.g. choosing the right subjects to allow them to do medicine/architecture/etc if they fancy it, rather than choosing a subject by its speed to earning potential.

[WillBeatJanuaryBlues]

Interesting issue, but as its all new and exciting I would want to tell dc too, but dont....wait until much later....

[WillBeatJanuaryBlues]

*
Best to see what they want at 18 not what parents or family expect

very very true and to be honest I think funding a year out is also invaluable....travel world while young and free....people rarely get that chance again.

[SuisseRomandeMaman]

I wouldn't say anything.

My parents did that to me and my siblings. I obviously knew we were not poor when growing up but wasn't aware of any trust fund until i was mid 20s. My parents never made money a part of our childhood and i am really grateful for that.

[Theboodythatrocked]

Yep travel while young agree.

Or in our case maybe with saga.

[Babycham1979]

Elvera, the loan is only except value if the children either a) fail to get sufficiently well-paid jobs or b) decide to become SAHPs immediately after university. The loans are, in fact, appalling value for any potential medium- to high-earners. If they're particularly bright and ambitious, the money is better spent up-front on fees.

[BoredChurch]

We have always been open with our kids about the fact that all uni costs will be paid. I think it has encouraged them to work hard and be responsible with their money. Three of them are at university and none of them are wasters. I think the fact that the money was given to the makes them feel more responsible for doing it justice. They don't take it for granted at all and understand they are very, very fortuanatel. We have all had time to discuss it and 'enjoy' it. It takes so much stress out of the whole process and allows them to fully focus on their work. I can't see any reason why we would not have told them early - although it's probably of no interest to them until they are in their early teens.


I hope I'm not speaking too soon though as DC4 is yet to start Uni

[cottageinthecountry]

Re buy to lets - you can't spend your children's trust fund on a buy to let property can you? Surely it depends on the wording of the Trust.

And I agree with others that paying up front for Uni fees is pointless. I think it will make them work harder at Uni if they know they're going to have to pay it back. If it's all paid for already they might think it's OK to drop out.

[TeWiSavesTheDay]

I'm not sure that's true. I know quite a lot of people who went to university with trust funds or parents behind them sorting fees (& often more!) the only one that dropped out had a serious mental health breakdown and did eventually go back.
They're also all now in gainful employment.

They were all well aware that it was money for a specific purpose and that they would be in unbelievable family relationship ruining trouble if they wasted it which may also be relevant!

[MaryWestmacott]

Cottage, not sure I agree with that, I don't think students work ethics are particularly higher now than 'when I were a lass' and it was free (until the year I went - not bitter), and many got living grants that were perfectly enough to pay hall fees with a bit left over.

(Plus the current system, they might not have to pay it back if they don't earn enough, it's not like you have it hanging over you when in a low paid job post uni, if you don't earn above a certain level, you never pay it).

[IHaveBrilloHair]

Dd has one which she will get at 21, I have no plans on telling her about it.

[skylark2]

I think you need to be careful that they don't make uni plans without full information, for instance discounting going to somewhere with higher living costs because they think they can't afford it when in fact they can.

They don't need to know about it before that point.

[IHaveBrilloHair]

If I had my way dd wouldn't have got her money until 30, but it wasn't my decision to make.
I am putting plans in place now so she can live at home rent free and have a decent choice of uni, and it's still 5 years away, she will not be told about her trust fund.

[Runnyhunny]

Why is it even an issue? When discussing their futures, just say "when you go to uni.."

[LineRunner]

I wonder what the trust fund document actually says.

[HatieKokpins]

My grandmother spent years and years and years telling me about the money she was putting in a bank account for me, and how she'd give it to me when "the time was right".

Eventually the time came, and she handed over the passbook telling me to be responsible with it, and not waste it.

There was 7.50 in there. Can't even remember what I spent it on now.