that one child might inherit more than another....(logical people needed for this!)

[thelmasmonkey]

I'm in the process of writing will with dh but don't know if what is a fair division of assets between dcs.

Dc1 is mine from a previous relationship. DC1's father is well off. Dc2 is from current relationship.

Dh and my assets are tied into our property.

Should our property be split fifty fifty between dc1 and dc2 in event of both our deaths?
Or should my half be split fifty fifty between children while his half goes to dc2. That means dc2 stands to inherit 3/4 of estate but dc1 might potentially inherit all of her fathers.
Dc1 would inherit from her father. Dc1 will also reside with her father in event of my death. If dh and I both die then dc 2 will be orphaned and need money to help with her upbringing.

What makes me uneasy though is that there's a small risk that dc1 might not inherit anything from her father and will only have 1/4 of current estate. But if we do split 50/50 dc1 stands to inherit a lot more if her father does leave her everything.

Confused?

Yes I am aware that dcs might not get anything as estate could be used to fund me and dh in old age but l also want to prepare for alternative too.

Any advice would be great.

[PenguinsandtheTantrumofDoom]

I think you need to factor in that the likelihood of you all dying whilst your children are young-ish is pretty slim. It's one thing to say that your eldest may inherit from her father, but (all things being equal) there is a good chance that that might not happen until she's well into her 60s herself, and that a lot might get eaten up in care for an elderly parent.

Remember that your wills we operate consecutively in almost every scenario. If you die, do you really want everything to be split between your children? That can actually make things quite difficult for your husband whilst living with and raising your younger child. Do you have advice from your solicitor? I'm suspecting that they will advise at least some form of trust.

[MsCoconut]

I'm agreeing with hassled on the 1/4 and 3/4 split but coming at it from the point of view of a child of divorced parents with step parents.

My DF has 3 children: my db and me with his ex-wife and 1 DC with my step mother. A fair split in my mind is if my Dd's 1/2 is split equally between his 3 children and my stepmother's half goes to my half brother. This works out as 1/6, 1/6, 2/3. I'm not sure what has actually been written into the wills but this is mathematically equal in my mind.

It's good you have already made provision for dc1 if you die first such that she gets something from your estate. This stops the worst-case scenario other posters are warning against, wherein you die first, your current DH remarries or changes his will at a later point, and dd1 is excluded altogether from an inheritance from you.

[slithytove]

Your DH can choose to leave his share to his only daughter.

If he had a child (your stepchild) would you split your half 3 ways?

[PenguinsandtheTantrumofDoom]

Viva - that's actually potentially really difficult. If you have grown up children from a previous marriage owning the family home you need a very solid relationship with those grown up children to be sure you can continue to live there. I'm guessing your sister is lucky enough to have that though from what you've said

[MrsBennington]

People need to realise that if you are Join Tennants nobody owns half the house and the survivor gets the lot regardless! Tennats in common means you can leave your % of the house as you wish - people need to get so much more clued up about financial matters.

[PenguinsandtheTantrumofDoom]

Yes, that is a good point. I was assuming that a solicitor was checking for TinC or dealing with severing a joint tenancy.

[Applefallingfromthetree2]

Mailings-I really get your point, but what if one child is not your biological child and that child has a good relationship with her biological father. In the interests of fairness should the stepdaughter of one parent be treated equally in relation to inheritance?

Both my parents have remarried and I have a stepsister who is not the biological child of my father. She has a relationship with her real father who supports her financially, she lived with my father and stepmother.

My stepmother is now dead having left her assets to my stepsister, her biological child. My father has divided his money assets 5 ways,1 share to each of his 4 children including me and one share to my stepsister. His house is left to his biological children.

Do you think this is fair?

[VivaLeBeaver]

penguin. I don't know but I'd assume you can put some sort of thing in the will to say that if your spouse is still alive then they can live in the house without having to pay compensation and the house can only be sold after the second person has died??

[fiverabbits]

When my DDad died in his will he left me and my 4 siblings different percentages of his money. Then he left his 2/3 rds of the house that my brother owned 1/3 rd of to him. It had been brought 10 years before by my Mum, Dad and brother.

I never understood why he did it like this but it was his decision and we couldn't contest it even though my brother was a millionaire who owned 4 other houses and the only one with no children. He never even gave any of us £1 of his inheritance.

[aprilanne]

hi i would split 50/50 because your ex may remarry and have other children .or if he has a wife on death it would go to her .not your eldest anyway .i would hope your present hubby would do the same and not make adiffrence between children .i would not be happy if he left all his to his own child .lets be honest your eldest would feel very hurt .and if she inherits from her father she may split it with her sibling .

[missymayhemsmum]

While the children are children then your priority should be ensuring that the surviving parent and children are cared for/ provided for/ educated.
Once they are adults you can decide if you want to split it fairly/ according to need/ give it all to the cats home and make them stand on their own feet.
Take out enough life insurance to ensure there is enough for everyone to be alright, for starters.

[GoodKingQuintless]

Is it fair that one child inherits TWO dads, and another child only inherits ONE?

Is it fair that the child who inherits a rich dad also inherits from the dad of the other child?

Is it fair that the child with a "normal" dad share his/her inheritance with the child who also has a rich dad to inherit?

[YouAreBoring]

ThelmsMonkey if you look at other threads on MN about this type of issue there is always a mix of responses with some posters being adamant that step and bio children should receive equal inheritances and other posters (like me) being adamant that bio parents should provide for their children equally.


I still don't understand why posters think you should discount the fact your DD is most likely going to inherit from her Dad. .

[YonicScrewdriver]

Ok.

Don't forget - wills can be changed. It's very unlikely that you, DH and xh will all die very close together. So if xh dies first and DD1 is a major heiress, you can adjust. If you and DH die first, it might be years before dd1 inherits from xh (if she does at all - he may remarry, need it for care home etc)

You can also add an expression of wishes which, whilst not legally binding, could cover some scenarios eg "in the event of dd1 inheriting x, I would like her to consider using some of her portion of the estate to set up a fund to contribute to the education of all offspring of dd1 or dd2"

[mamasilla]

50/50

[thelmasmonkey]

Thanks guys for replies.

To the poster who said dc1 has it harder as her parents aren't togeyher this isn't quite true. She really does have benefit of two families and is extremely close to her father and myself and her sister. She has amicable relationship with step dad.

Dc1 is likely to inherit her fathers entire estate as he is a confirmed bachelor. He has never married and only has one child. Yes, this may all change but its unlikely.

Dh isn't convinced he should split his estate fifty fifty. He doesn't see why he should as dc1 effectively as her own father to look after her financially in event of his death while his child's inheritance would be diluted.

Of course I would treat my dcs fairly but I also can't force him to see a step child as his bio child when the truth of the matter is they have an amicable but polite relationship.

If I leave my half completely to dc1 surely this isn't splitting my half equally between two dcs?

[thegreylady]

In the event of your death you leave your estate 50/50 to your 2 dc who you love equally.
Your dh does exactly as he wants to as will your ex. You are only responsible for your will, no one else's.

[slithytove]

I think this is terrible and really moot. Wills are a private business, even between spouses if need be.

As long as each of you are protected in the event of the others death, then you should each leave your portion to who you want.

Meaning DH leaves his share to all of HIS kids. Not necessarily all of yours.

[slithytove]

And I still don't think any other finances should come into it.

[slithytove]

Op, how old are your kids

[TheSteveMilliband]

I'm sure there was a short Gerry Robinson (businessman who did a programme on improving efficiency of nhs, improving provision of care for elderly, very inspiring and compassionate man) series on exactly these issues - might be worth searching for on YouTube (think it was on bbc). Don't envy you but fwiw I think your suggested split is fair though maybe your dh could leave a small amount to your dd1 so as not to be left out entirely

[code]

Your half should be split 50:50. Your DH should do what he wishes and leave his half to DD2. I don't think it's controversial at all. I would suggest explaining it to DC once they're old enough so nothing comes as a surprise.

[KidTheKidder]

We had a similar situation but split ours as follows:

My 50% between our DC
DH's 50% between all 5 DC (our DC and his DC from previous marriage)

Quite simple for us.

[PenguinsandtheTantrumofDoom]

Viva - I think that probably involves some sort of trust.

OP- I really think you need to concentrate on the fact that the most likely scenario where these wills would be used is that one of you dies and the other survives into old age. You need to think about how you feel about your home - would you want your husband and second child to continue to live there, for example. You probably need a trust set up and your solicitor can help you with suggestions.

[Cocolate]

I think you have to be scrupulously fair in a will. And that means Or should my half be split fifty fifty between children while his half goes to dc2

I have a dsd and MIL has decided that my parents are well off and therefore will leave mine and dh's children something decent when they die, therefore she is leaving everything of hers to DSD. She knows nothing of dsd's other grandparents financial situation but I think this situation could breed resentment. In my will, my share of our assets is split between my children & DH's is split between his 3 children.