that one child might inherit more than another....(logical people needed for this!)

[thelmasmonkey]

I'm in the process of writing will with dh but don't know if what is a fair division of assets between dcs.

Dc1 is mine from a previous relationship. DC1's father is well off. Dc2 is from current relationship.

Dh and my assets are tied into our property.

Should our property be split fifty fifty between dc1 and dc2 in event of both our deaths?
Or should my half be split fifty fifty between children while his half goes to dc2. That means dc2 stands to inherit 3/4 of estate but dc1 might potentially inherit all of her fathers.
Dc1 would inherit from her father. Dc1 will also reside with her father in event of my death. If dh and I both die then dc 2 will be orphaned and need money to help with her upbringing.

What makes me uneasy though is that there's a small risk that dc1 might not inherit anything from her father and will only have 1/4 of current estate. But if we do split 50/50 dc1 stands to inherit a lot more if her father does leave her everything.

Confused?

Yes I am aware that dcs might not get anything as estate could be used to fund me and dh in old age but l also want to prepare for alternative too.

Any advice would be great.

[kawliga]

if dh and I die together then dc2 will be orphaned but dc1 will not

This is a risk, but at least your dc1 an dc2 will have each other, and you will have died in the knowledge that you did not do anything to break the bond between dc1 and dc2. So many threads on MN show the importance of treating children in the same family equally. Anything else tears them apart.

[Hassled]

I had similar issues - have 2 DC by ExH and 2 DC with DH. Oldest 2 will inherit from their father (who will probably have more to leave them than DH and I will).

In the end - DH and I leave everything to each other. We have mirror wills - so once we're both dead, DCs 1&2 get 1/8th of the estate each, DCs 3&4 get 3/8ths of the estate each. It looks hard on the oldest, but they have another parent to inherit from whereas the youngest obviously don't and mathematically it's fair, IYSWIM.

[thelmasmonkey]

Dcs are very close and under 10. I really don't want either to be left out.

The truth is dc1 is likely to be left a humungous amount as her father is very rich and dd2 a meagre amount. So yes dividing estate fifty fifty may well be fair morally but it certainly isn't fair financially. At the end of the day wills are about finances.

[ClashCityRocker]

Another one saying discount your ex h.

IMO, life is made much easier when inheritances are split equally between children. You run the risk of creating a large rift between siblings if you go about it any other way.

[MrsBennington]

You still need to make sure you are Tenants in Common otherwise if you are down as Joint Tenants DH will automatically get the house under Suvivorship Rules and your kids could potentially get nothing (assuming home is the bulk of the Estate).

[MrsS1980]

We are in a similar position. My dsd is 21, my DS is 3. My half will all go to my DS, my DH's half will be split between the 2 of them. This seems completely fair to me.

[thelmasmonkey]

Out of interest are those that are saying estate should be split fifty fifty from blended families?

It just seems that a lot of those posting about 1/3 split are those who have step children or children from a previous relationship.

[YouAreBoring]

I think it makes it easier if you stop trying to make it perfectly fair. Its impossible because you haven't got a crystal ball and you have no way of knowing what will happen in the future. Your best bet is to make it logical. Ie each parent leaves their personal estate to their child or children.

[Applefallingfromthetree2]

I agree that putting the house as tenants in common is sensible to ensure the property doesn't have to be sold on the first death. The children's inheritance needs to be secured in case of re-marriage by either partner.

[thelmasmonkey]

clash but I find it simplistic to say discount. How can I discount the very high probability that dh1 will inherit loads from her father?
If she does the inheritance will not be equal. That's basic maths.
I can't just pretend this isn't the case.

[kawliga]

So yes dividing estate fifty fifty may well be fair morally but it certainly isn't fair financially. At the end of the day wills are about finances.

You are wrong to think wills are mainly about finances. So many threads (and so many posters) have said how much ill feeling comes from feeling 'morally' left out. Moral fairness is more important than financial fairness - after all finances can be affected by so many things, like winning the lottery, marrying a wealthy partner, having a successful career, etc. You have seen what happens when parents decide to leave more to a dc1 who has a struggling career and no prospects, and leave less to dc2 who has a successful career and has earned lots of money, on grounds that it is 'financially fair' to treat them differently. That never ends well. It breaks the bond between siblings no matter how 'financially fair' it might seem to you.

[FishWithABicycle]

Are you planning that whichever of you dies first will be leaving everything to the other and the will covers what happens when the second dies, or are you going to leave stuff to the children with the surviving spouse having a life interest?

Could you set up some kind of trust whereby each dc gets 1/3rd at first and the remaining 1/3rd is kept back in some way pending the eventual death of dc1s dad. If dc1 inherits significantly then, the last 3rd goes to dc2. If not, it gets split equally.

[MrsBennington]

But unless you specifically split ownership of your home it WILL go to your spouse and they can spend, do whatever they like and if they remarry then it passes to their new spouse and your children may get nothing no matter what you intend! Research it and Protect your childrens interests!

[thelmasmonkey]

I'm beginning to see why people leave money to the cats...

[thelmasmonkey]

bennington I plan to leave percentage of house to kids with surviving parent having right to reside. Am I missing something?

[Hassled]

I got my head around the maths/fairness by drawing pie-charts :o.

[YouAreBoring]

I don't have a blended family and wasn't bought up in a blended family and I think you should leave 1/4 to DC1 and 3/4 to DC2.

I always thought that was the normal way to split estates and I'm surprised that so many posters think each child should get 50%. It would be different if DC1s Dad had abandoned her.

[thelmasmonkey]

If I do as most of what posters here suggest then dc1 will be left with much more money than dc2. I personally don't see how this is morally fair. Its really a tough one....

[Schoolname]

50/50 - whatever DC1 inherits from her father is irrelevant

[thelmasmonkey]

youareboring please elaborate. These are my thoughts too but it will be interesting to hear your reason behind this.

[ClashCityRocker]

Yes, but your exh's affairs are completely separate to your affairs. The money is not guaranteed - particularly if he goes on to have other DCs.

You can't account for every financial possibility. What if dd2 gets a better job and is less in need of money than dd1? What if dd2 marries someone from a wealthy family etc?

All you can do is account for your estate as equally as possibly, ignoring outside circumstances.

Honestly, can you imagine how shit she'd feel if her half-sibling got three quarters of the estate on an assumption that she'd get something from someone else?

[Schoolname]

Yes I am from a blended family and I know that everything is split absolutely equally between all the children, step or not and it's absolutely the only fair way to do it. As it happens neither of the partners from the first marriages have anything to leave but even if they did 50/50 is the absolute only fair way.

[thelmasmonkey]

I'm sorry why is dc1 inheritance irrelevant?

Also if my parents wanted to leave money to sibling as they weren't as well off as me that makes sense. Money should go where its needed.

[ClashCityRocker]

And I was bought up in a blended family (albeit somewhat complicated) and currently live in a blended family.

I would feel a bit hurt.

[Applefallingfromthetree2]

Hassled, how have you secured the existing children's inheritance if after the first parent dies the survivor remarries and maybe takes on / creates a new family?

In this scenario what is to stop them making a new will and leaving everything to the children of the new relationship?