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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

leaving apples on the ground?

41 replies

LiverpoolLou · 30/09/2014 09:18

We live in a small rural village. Our property has an old apple tree in the far corner of the front garden. Some years it doesn't produce much but this year it's gone bonkers. Inevitably some of the apples end up on the road.

A neighbour further up on the opposite side of the lane seems to be really angry about this. He's just swept them down the road from the corner and up my path. So instead of being all together under the tree they're scattered all over my front garden. He's then walked the length of the road to pick up a few strays which the school kids have picked up and then dropped and thrown them over the hedge at my house before stomping off home.

My husband picks up as many as he can at the weekends but it's dark when he gets in from work so can't do it then. You can see he's been doing it because there are buckets of apples by the tree waiting to be taken to the tip. I can't do it during the week because I am disabled.

I suffer from severe anxiety (have AS) and am now really stressed. I also have executive function deficit and so have problems with prioritising. I get help from social services with this so feel paralysed at someone making an issue of a task which hasn't been worked into my routine yet.

I actually want to cry of these fucking apples now. It's not even like they affect him at all other than having to see them when he drives past to get to his house.

So AIBU to leave them?

OP posts:
TheCuriousOwl · 30/09/2014 13:40

Do you have food waste recycling in your area OP? Because our dustmen will take apples as food recycling. I have the same issue in that I have a tree that sometimes goes mad and I work full time, the idea of picking up apples in the dark is so anxiety provoking I just can't cope. But finding out they'll take a box of apples each week for recycling, makes things easier now. (I have depression hence the above anxiety comment, I'm not making light of how you feel- I get it).

Your neighbour sounds like he has his own issues that he needs to deal with more appropriately. Or he is just an arse.

Vycount · 30/09/2014 13:42

Er, very bad for horses to be fed bucket loads of apples.

He might be thinking they could be a hazard on the road. I'd be tempted to go and ask him.

70isaLimitNotaTarget · 30/09/2014 14:34

Your neighbour sounds like the type who would watch some dog walker allow their dog to foul, scoop it up on a shovel, follow them home and deposit the turd in their doorstep.

Maybe he doesn't like the idea of wasps? (You will get plagues of them)

Next year, cut the branches back so there's no overhang.

I cut all the pears off our tree while they were still berry sized. Last year we had bucketsful of rotting pears . And wasps.

FullOfChoc · 30/09/2014 14:40

Idiot!

Can you sweep them back down his path?

ithoughtofitfirst · 30/09/2014 14:49

You've just given me an amazing idea pp who mentioned wasps...

PolterGoose · 30/09/2014 19:10

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MrsPiggie · 30/09/2014 19:16

Your neighbour has obviously got too much time on his hands. Ignore. All I would worry about is all those apples going to waste.

Jasonandyawegunorts · 30/09/2014 19:27

The stupid village neighbour
Out there with his brush
I wish it were his brains
cars ran over in a rush

Would it help if you said that to yourself?

AdmitYouKnowImRight · 30/09/2014 19:32

Rotting apples could cause someone to slip and injure themselves.

I know its nature, I know it's a village, and therefore countryside - but you do have a responsibility to keep the highways clear.

You talk at length about your anxiety and routines, maybe he has similar issues.

Im a great advocate of talking, it solves many a problem - I reckon if he knew you were ill he'd probably help rather than getting mardy about the apple-fest!

unicycle · 30/09/2014 20:24

Well if someone tripped over your apples and injured themselves they might seek compensation from you. It's not too difficult to see how this could happen especially in the poor light conditions of early morning, evening or night. And if they could convince a court that you have been negligent in clearing up the apples they may well succeed in their claim. You might have more concern for passers by then.

I don't know how much space there is under the hedge, but it seems feasible that apples there could roll or be kicked back out onto the pavement inadvertently by passers by. Really, you should be clearing the apples away, not leaving it to your neighbours.

Whippet81 · 30/09/2014 21:12

If you are only collecting the apples to throw them away how about just chopping the thing down? It's causing you work and you don't get any benefit and it's causing you grief.

Harsh but job done.

Original poster
LiverpoolLou · 02/10/2014 17:26

Some of you wise ladies were spot on.

DH went round last night to talk to him as DH has apparantly been clearing them every evening before he comes in, which I didn't know. But there was nobody in.

Just now he's knocked on my door and has gone ballistic about these apples. I tried to explain that DH does it but the guy just got angrier and angrier. He knows DH does it but says he doesn't do it properly. To be honest I couldn't really understand his line of reasoning as he was too angry and getting worse. I asked him to stop shouting at me a couple of times but it didn't help.

Then his wife stepped in and asked if he could cut back the the tree. I said yes and she sent him off to do it. She then explained that he has terminal cancer (he's in his 30s) and that he's really angry at everything and focusing on small stuff and blowing it out of all proportion. She'd told him to come over and apologise for acting like a twat and ask nicely about cutting it back but the anger took over. She said nobody can reason with him at the moment. He's so fixated on making their home perfect before he dies that he's redecorated the entire inside three times so far this year but still rages because it isn't perfect.

So I've said he can chop off what he likes and he's out there with a chainsaw at the moment. I figure if he gets carried away and chops the whole thing down then I don't care if it makes him feel a bit better, although I can't imagine anything would.

It's very, very sad. :(

OP posts:
ithoughtofitfirst · 02/10/2014 18:24

Woah plot twist.

AcrossthePond55 · 02/10/2014 19:57

You just never know, do you? Bless you for being so understanding and ok'ing the cutting back (or down) of the tree.

SirChenjin · 02/10/2014 20:53

That is just so, so sad Sad. I had a feeling there was more to it, but had no idea it would be that bad. You're a gem for letting him taking out his anger on your tree - and hope he gets some peace in the remaining months.

LuisSuarezTeeth · 02/10/2014 20:57

Oh crikey. Poor man. So sorry Sad

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