... Not to have spoken to this mum?

[Cooroo]

Driving home after horrible stressful day, I saw a woman with a 4 yo or thereabouts. They were skipping down the pavement together. Mum was waving arms about with every sign of having great fun.

I wanted to stop and say 'you are a fantastic mother and your daughter is going to have fun growing up with you'. And probably hug her. Mainly because i was feeling emotional.

Maybe best not to do this? But thank you anyway, unknown mother, for cheering me up a bit.

[NewEraNewMindset]

Soot - PMSL at the giant mugs, I have one in my cupboard

[Gruntfuttock]

Sorry to go on about it, but I'm still curious about the 'pebbly shit shop' in Seriouslyffs's post. If it's a typo, I can't work out what it should have said. If it's not a typo

[Gruntfuttock]

Tournesol Yes, it's nice if your children hear themselves being praised for good behaviour and you being pleased with them for that, rather than disagreeing with the nice comments.

[desertmum]

I was complemented on my children last week in Waitrose because they were packing the shopping into bags - which is very unusual apparently. My kids are 18 and 19! They do it so they can eat

[OhHelpOhNoItsaGrufallo]

I've had a few that stand out.
Twin boys, about 1.5 at the time, had always loved the bus, but this one day, for no particular reason had decided they HATED it, they screamed, I was frantically trying to placate them, there was no way I could get off I was miles away from where I needed to be.. Instead of dirty looks and tutting, two very nice old dears told me I was doing a wonderful job and made every effort to help me calm the boys down... It didn't work very well, but I appreciated the fact they tried.

We can't take DD (2) to a restaurant, it's more stress than it's worth at the moment, but we went out one evening when she was tiny, about 3 months. Just before dinner was served (as the waiter was bringing it over to us in fact) she threw up all down me (milk type sick, not poorly sick), I wiped it off as best I could, and sat to eat my meal, with baby on my lap. The boys were impeccable (they always are at restaurants at the risk of sounding smug) and a family on the table next to us commented how lovely it was to have sat next to us, the children were lovely and I had the patience of a saint not to be annoyed that my lovely new top was ruined... and I smelt of sour milk (I was annoyed, but determined to enjoy my first meal out in months, with friends that live so far away we only see them once or twice a year)

And the one that really sticks in my mind, when DD was 9 months we had tickets to see a pantomime with the boys (age 6) and our baby sitter for DD let us down, we ended up taking her with us (checking with the theatre first)
When we got there luckily we were right at the end of an row, and right by a door, so I sat at the edge, with DD on my lap, then the boys, then DH, next to him was a middle aged couple, who loudly tutted and gave us dirty looks when they saw DD. I was more than prepared to take her out if she started fussing, as was DH. I'd never have let her disturb others. DD LOVED the panto, she shouted in all the right places, laughing her head off, there was a bit with water guns being shot into the audience and she wanted more... She was an absolute angel tbh, and at the end, the woman of the couple asked to talk to us and apologised that she'd tutted at the beginning and that actually all three children were fantastic and DH and I were great parents. She told us to keep up the good work and that her and her DH had just loved watching DD bouncing and singing and how happy she was.
It made my day and I will never forget it.

I remember all the comments, because they were lovely, not patronising in the slightest. So many people are quick to complain about a 'naughty' child, but not to compliment a happy well behaved one!
I try to always make a point of telling children and their parents how impressed I am with their behaviour, and I do also try to help in some way with a child throwing a wobbly. Sometimes a kind strangers interaction can make all the difference with a bad day.

[OhHelpOhNoItsaGrufallo]

Oh, I've remembered another sweet one. I was doing the weekly food shop, boys in buggy, distracted with chocolate buttons (I know I know)
When two little old ladies started cooing over them, both boys held out a chocolate button to each of these ladies, smiling away.
The ladies awwed, complimented me on how lovely they were and how good they were for sharing at that age (only 1) then carried on with their shopping.

When I was leaving the shop having completed my own shopping I was stopped at the exit by the same ladies who then produced a 3 pack each of buttons for my boys, saying they hoped I didn't mind, but they were so impressed with how nicely they sat while I shopped and the fact they tried to share, that they wanted to treat them.

I was so touched by that, I smiled the rest of the day.

[Bowlersarm]

Aw these are lovely stories. I need to start complimenting people.

Although SanityClause made me laugh. I'd probably say the wrong thing too.

[SouthernComforts]

Dd (4) had a (very rare) huge tantrum in the park last week when it was time to leave. She was stood wailing at the top of her voice and refusing to walk.

I was doing the walking away trick and talking calmly but firmly but I felt like I was being stared at by all the other parents.

When I got level with one mum she just said "you're doing right, keep going" and I felt like kissing her!

[diddl]

"diddl What would you have said to the OP if she had said it to you"

I would probably have forced a smile & inwardly rolled my eyes.

"Grunt I think diddl is having a bad day. How anyone could get so shitty about the prospect of someone saying something kind and complimentary to them is beyond me"

I don't find it kind or complimentary. I would find the Ops comment patronising.

[Bowlersarm]

Glad to see you're in the minority diddl.

[TheSkiingGardener]

We were on holiday and my two boys were splashing in muddy puddles and having a whale of a time.

I got many comments, interestingly about a 50:50 split between me being horribly irresponsible and the best mother ever.

It's nice to get comments that cheer you up and I try and share that when I can.

[zeldapinwheel]

When DD was about 2.5 we took her to a restaurant that gave children crayons and pictures to colour. She was beautifully behaved, sat patiently for her food, said thank you to the waitress and ate everything without making a mess.

As DH and I were finishing our coffees and DD was colouring her picture a lady who'd been sat behind us walked past on her way back to her seat. She stopped by our table and commented on how well behaved DD was. We said thank you and she sat back down.

She'd been sat down for all of 30 seconds when DD decided to throw the plastic pot filled with about 20 crayons high into the air, ( when questioned she did it because she was trying to give them to the "man on the ceiling". A picture of James Dean) raining them down on nice compliment lady and her friend.

We apologised profusely, thankfully she was very nice about it. Though she did say that maybe she'd spoken too soon as she removed a crayon from her pasta.

[OhHelpOhNoItsaGrufallo]

TheSkiingGardener

My boys and I were puddle jumping on the way back from Nursery one day and I was trying my best to make sure they didn't splash anybody else, we were doing a good job of it until a man walked around the corner, smartly dressed, and a great big splash of water hit him. I was mortified. I was apologising and so red faced, until he said 'Oh for gods sake, shut up woman, you call that a spash? THIS is a splash' and he jumped in the puddle soaking us all! We all just fell about laughing, and so did quite a few other people in the area!

I often wonder whether he had to go back to work that day, or whether he had come from an interview maybe... or maybe just liked to dress in a suit
If he had to go back to work I do wonder what his boss said to him, as he was covered in muddy water

[diddl]

"Glad to see you're in the minority diddl."

[PinkAndBlueBedtimeBears]

I took my 20mo dd puddle jumping yesterday, and had 4 week old ds in the sling, an old couple walking their dog said that it was wonderful to see a young mum (I'm 22, look about 12!) enjoying getting messy with her children.. It really cheered me up and make me smile, I've been battling pnd and sometimes you just need someone to say your doing it right!

I always feel like a bit of a numpty complementing parents about their childrens behaviour but I'm going to make an effort from now on :)

[jellybelly701]

until he said 'Oh for gods sake, shut up woman, you call that a spash? THIS is a splash' and he jumped in the puddle soaking us all! We all just fell about laughing, and so did quite a few other people in the area!

You just made me choke on my tea!

[LikeSilver]

I love this thread! I have two that are memorable; one when I sitting in a cafe with dd who was about 9 months and baby led weaning. An elderly lady made a point to come up to us when she had finished her meal, to say how lovely it was to see dd (who was covered in pasta sauce) enjoying her lunch and that she had loved watching her. The other was a winter walk splashing in puddles with dd when she was a bit older, the woods were pretty empty as it was chilly but we bumped into some ladies walking their dogs who stopped us and said how lovely it was to see a child outside enjoying themselves even in the colder months.

I try to say nice things to people with newborns as I remember how hard I found it, and I also recently said to another mum how beautifully and kindly her daughter had played with my dd (who was younger) at a soft play centre, I don't know if she felt patronised but she definitely looked chuffed!

[PonyoLovesHam]

I like reading all these stories

I remember when I was very pregnant, and then when dd was a tiny baby, so many people would smile at me and her when out and about. It really threw me at first, we don't live a particularly 'friendly' area and at first I thought people were being weird

A few weeks ago dd (now age 3 and a half) had a massive screaming strop on a packed train, which resulted in me taking her out to the toilet bit, telling her off and waiting for her stop screaming and calm down, which after felt like hours she did. Then we sat down, had a cuddle and she fell asleep. I felt a lot better when the lady sitting opposite me gave me a smile and did an "aww" face. I rolled my eyes

[Miggsie]

DH does balloon modelling and the comments we get on train stations when he starts blowing up balloons and making animals for bored kids - well they've always been positive.

Ii IS nice to be appreciated and to see people genuinely taking pleasure from the small things in life.

It is often overlooked that to experience joy and kindness really makes a difference to the quality of life and people who walk around disapproving of everything really get my goat. I had a grandmother whose sole purpose in life it seemed was to neither enjoy nor approve of anything. How sad that was for her, and those around her.

[Nancy66]

I think it would be a bit weird to say anything.

Thing is you don't know that she is a 'fantastic mother'. Maybe she locked the kid in the cellar when she got home...

[diddl]

The thing for me is that in the examples given, people aren't saying "you are a fantastic mother", & that makes a difference imo.

[RiverTam]

at SuitSplashMan, he sounds like someone who maybe isn't a dad, but the Best Uncle Ever to a gazillion nieces and nephews.

[Gruntfuttock]

"I remember when I was very pregnant, and then when dd was a tiny baby, so many people would smile at me and her when out and about. It really threw me at first, we don't live a particularly 'friendly' area and at first I thought people were being weird"

Yes, I have frequently been made to feel dreadful because I've smiled at a baby or said how gorgeous one is and been treated like an unhinged weirdo.
I don't understand why so many people react like that to seeing someone smiling at a cute gurgling baby. I never approach them or try to touch them, just smile because I adore babies and can't help noticing them.

[jellybelly701]

Maybe she did lock her in a cellar, but maybe they removed their shoes and slid about on the kitchen floor. They might have even baked a cake or painted a picture.

[PlantsAndFlowers]

I would have found it patronising.

I might often look like I'm having an amazing time with my DD skipping and singing and stuff, and I am also a crap mother who gets lots of things wrong.

It would also make me feel self conscious.