... Not to have spoken to this mum?

[Cooroo]

Driving home after horrible stressful day, I saw a woman with a 4 yo or thereabouts. They were skipping down the pavement together. Mum was waving arms about with every sign of having great fun.

I wanted to stop and say 'you are a fantastic mother and your daughter is going to have fun growing up with you'. And probably hug her. Mainly because i was feeling emotional.

Maybe best not to do this? But thank you anyway, unknown mother, for cheering me up a bit.

[ChablisChic]

I always make a point of complimenting parents if their children are well-behaved in restaurants/public spaces. I was quite strict with mine when they were little and it drives me up the wall to see children being loud/disruptive/uncontrolled in inappropriate places (I'm not talking about child-centred places like McD's, more in hotels and the like).

[Flingmoo]

PoppyAmex I notice parents saying mean things like this a lot in front of their children. I do try not to be all judgeypants but I can't help thinking "I'll never be like that with my DS"...

I probably will be guilty of snapping at my kids just like everybody else, but seeing it from the outside has made me more aware and determined not to be.

[Mrsjayy]

Aww thats lovely I saw a mum going to pick up her child from nursery and she had a sneaky scoot on her childs scooter I am sure she said weeeeeeee! Made my day she thinks nobody saw her but I did scooter lady

[Itsjustmeagain]

I took mine to the bank last week, it is a tiny tiny bank and there are 5 children under 9 so they were on show to everyone in the queue. They sat down on the side and read their books, I was desperately trying to get them not to be too loud or disruptive. I was there quite a long time trying to sort something urgent out and thankfully they sat nicely and at the end we left. As we left a woman came out after and stopped us and said " your children are so well behaved its lovely to see - they are a real credit to you" . I nearly cried there and then, I have had such a terrible few months and it just made me think maybe I am not a TOTAL failure after all.

[YourMaNoBraBackOfMyCar]

Mrs jayy I saw a dad riding his little girls silver and pink bike complete with doll in a seat wearing a helmet. He obviously thought he'd perfected the best route to ride and not be seen. I saw you girlie bike dad. :o

[Mrsjayy]

see never to old to have fun to many parents have stressful lives and dont do the silly things I know you cant be fun parent all the time the children will thank you for it ,

[Mrsjayy]

A neighbour came up to me years ago and said my dds were the politest children she had ever come across she is a retired teacher so I guess she has seen a lot of children so that really gave me a boost especially as I was going through a bit of a bad spell

[evalyn]

I've had several people recently tell me how much they've enjoyed watching me and DGC having fun together. I don't feel patronised, but pleased, that my daft behaviour generates such thoughts.

One old fellow sidled across the other day to tell me he'd been watching me play with (2 year-old) DGC in the city centre, saying he thought that what we were doing was 'what life's all about, really!' I couldn't but agree with him.

Of course it's easier playing out with a grandchild. Much less stress than being a parent first time around! Nice to get such interactions with people, though.

[Dunkling]

When we think of all the times people have come on here stresses at cruel comments or looks as we all do our best to raise our sometimes unruly children, it is nice when people speak out on the positive stuff. I have on a couple of occasions had an elderly couple come to our table on leaving when we have been eating out, and told us how beautifully behaved out little family has been and they are a credit to us. I found it neither patronising or blurgh!

[QuintessentiallyQS]

Is having fun with your kid so unusual that it needs commenting on?

I dont know where you are diddle, but it is a rare sight around here! Plenty of shouting and telling off though.

[Sootgremlin]

Why does commenting on it mean that it is unusual anyway? The Op was thinking about the niceness of what she saw, and that it cheered her up on a bad day, not how uncommon it was.

The other day my ds had a tantrum about not being able to sit in the trolley seat, when his baby sister got to. He is the size of a 4-5 year old at 3.4 so is too big now anyway, and his legs come down to my knees when I carry him. I made a big fuss of carrying him around the shop like a baby instead and it cheered him up, I got lots of nice smiles and comments as I waddled around with my enormous giggling child. It wasn't because I'm Mum of the Year or anything and they'd never seen the like of it before I'm sure, it's just nice to be nice and share friendliness with strangers, it doesn't have to be all eyes to the floor and get on with it.

[tittifilarious]

I think the comment in the OP may have been a little OTT but random kindness from strangers can be incredibly touching.

[CustardLover]

I think it's absolutely lovely to pass on a bit of happiness like that - what's the worse that can happen? Someone might think you're a bit soppy or patronising? Weighed against potentially making someone beam with delight and have a warm memory forever? It's a risk I'm happy to take.

[makingdoo]

I think these stories are lovely. I've wanted to say things to parents a few times but have always held back. I don't have DC but love watching little ones interact with their parents. Thanks to mumsnet I'm not as judgemental when I see tantruming kids anymore and always try to give the parent a sympathetic smile.

This thread has just prompted me to message my exsil to tell her how lovely my DN is after she spent a week with me. We have a minimal contact replationship but the reason my DN is such a wonderful child is all down to her and I wanted to say that. I'm sad to sat my DB had very little to do with it!

[LadyRabbit]

It's never patronising IMO. You cannot know how much a positive comment from a stranger can mean - it's so rare that humans break out of their self consciousness to do it - and when it has happened to me (hardly ever!) I have treasured those moments so much. Being a parent can be so fraught with worry and "am I doing this right?" days that all the support we can offer one another is wonderful.

[sweetnessandlite]

I wanted to stop and say 'you are a fantastic mother and your daughter is going to have fun growing up with you'. And probably hug her. Mainly because i was feeling emotional.

What a lovely thing to think OP!
It's also refreshing to read of somebody seeing the positive things in life, instead of constantly focusing on the negative things in the world.

I'm glad they brightened your day, but you did the right thing 'not saying anything'.
The moment would have passed and they might have thought you were being ''weird'' (which we know you weren't).

[diddl]

I can see how saying something supportive if someone is struggling could be appreciated.

but to call someone a "fantastic mother" for doing something which i would have thought most of us have done at some point just seems way OTT.

[NoodleOodle]

I've been given positive comments that have brightened up my day, and try to pass this on, especially when I see a parent dealing with a difficult child where they might feel they're being negatively judged.

[feelingmellow]

makingdo I'm sure your exsil will appreciate your message. Its a very thoughtful thing to do

[HouseAtreides]

I was a single parent with DD1 when she was small. I used to collect her from nursery after work and we'd get the 'long way bus' home. One day we were chattering about what was going to be for dinner (broccoli and cheese pasta IIRC) and an older lady sitting behind us tapped me on the shoulder, smiled and said "you're a good mum". I don't think anybody had ever said it to me at that point! (DD1 was around 2.5) It made my week, month, year :)

[fuzzpig]

We got told we were a lovely family recently. We were on a 1.5hr train journey back from a little trip away and we'd spread out (two adults two 16yos and 7/5yos) over two tables, four of us were playing games while the little ones were eating drawing, and also we were calling out random stuff as we had an I Spy competition ongoing throughout the journey there and back.

As a man got off the train he told DH how lovely he thought we all were and how great it was to see us all interacting so nicely. Made my day and I cling to that comment when they're being terrors :)

I worried that he was going to say we were too noisy - could've gone either way really!

[jellybelly701]

When my DS was 8 months old DP and I were in pizza hut at the food court of our local mall waiting for our food. DS was being incredibly grumpy and started crying quite loudly. The whole restaurant turned to look at me which made me embarrassed and flustered. They continued to watch for a good few minutes as I grew more embarrassed so having nothing to loose I counted to ten then stood up and pretended to be a gorilla, complete with armpit scratching and 'ooh ooh aah aahs' which sent DS into a fit of hysterical laughter.

About five minutes later an eldery couple approached us on their way out of the restaurant and told me that they had had quite a rough time recently and seeing me be so silly with DS had brightened up their day. They was both beaming from ear to ear.

I haven't once hesitated to sing a silly song or pull a silly face in public since

[VacantExpression]

I was complemented by an elderly couple just last night after dinner out, they had been on the table next to us (my youngest two are 4&5) and said what a pleasure it had been sitting next to a lovely family. Made my day, and it had been quite a long and stressful one so was extra-appreciated.

[MokunMokun]

I had lunch with some friends and my baby was with us and someone told me how wonderfully calm and easygoing my baby was and I was obviously a wonderful mother. I had to laugh as she obviously hadn't met my other kids. It's weird because I've had so many judgy rude comments that my son is so noisy and over active because I'm a bad mother. It just all seems so ridiculous. It's just their personalities nothing to do with me, I don't think. I'm certainly not noisy!

[PlumpPartridge]

I do my best to spread the love, but have remembered the following:

My mum was once told how nice and well-behaved me and my brother were, on a train journey. She repeated it every so often, a bit wistfully, always finishing with 'Why on earth can't you be like that all the time?' It wasn't a jokey question either oh well.

I am resolved not to be like that with my kids?