... Not to have spoken to this mum?

[Cooroo]

Driving home after horrible stressful day, I saw a woman with a 4 yo or thereabouts. They were skipping down the pavement together. Mum was waving arms about with every sign of having great fun.

I wanted to stop and say 'you are a fantastic mother and your daughter is going to have fun growing up with you'. And probably hug her. Mainly because i was feeling emotional.

Maybe best not to do this? But thank you anyway, unknown mother, for cheering me up a bit.

[bauhausfan]

I am n/c with my own mum but a year ago a lady told me what a fab mum I am and how she'd been talking about me on the phone to her own daughter and saying what a great mother I am. It was all I could do to not start blubbing in pathetic gratitude.

If you don't have a kind family, you don't get many people telling you that you are doing a good job.It means so much to just hear those words. Let's hope that when we are all older, we remember to pass this on to the mums that we see out and about.

[Dubjackeen]

I often admire babies or small kids, to their parents, just in passing. It always brings a smile to their faces.

[CatWitch]

Oops, YANBU. Kindness from strangers is something I always treasure.

[NotOneThingbutAnother]

When DD1 was only a few days old I took her out to a cafe and was in the mother and baby toilets changing her, a lady with what I presumed to be her adult daughters came up and looked at her, we started talking and she said how wonderful I was to be taking her out when I'd only just given birth, how beautiful she was, and what a fabulous job I was doing, how well I looked etc.

I realise she was doing that on purpose to make me feel good, she went out of her way to be nice. My own mum died when I was 13 and I was so overwhelmed by her kind intent I was fighting back the tears. I'm crying now typing this and I'm not entirely sure why. I don't think I will ever forget what she said and the thought behind it as long as I live.

[CatWitch]

Haight Ashbury San Francisco, dh and I stop with toddler dd to watch Reggae street band, dd boogies with delight, we boogie with her. Two people standing next to us say "Juicy kid, Juicy parents." We were thrilled. My state cop, shaved head, stern looking dh has been called many things in his life, Juicy not being one of them.

[RonaldMcDonald]

cooroo

it was lovely that watching their happiness made you happy

sometimes what we want to give is what we want to get?
so mebbe you could think about that

[Mrsjayy]

There is nothing wrong in playing with your children who cares if she looked a bit silly

[Mrsjayy]

The op wasnt suggesting the mum and dd were perfect but was happy to see them skipping along

[Seriouslyffs]

Not flaming you llive
That's a really sad outlook on life you've got there. If it's just a habit, snap out of it!
If you've a deeper sadness I hope you can mend.

[Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost]

You don't know what goes on behind closed doors. That mother could have had a terrible day with her D.D the day before. Her kid could be kicking off now. It's very easy for people to paint a perfect picture. Hey we all do it. We're human. Sorry to be cynical. Just that no mother or child is perfect. We all have our good and bad days and her good day was today. Your good day might be tomorrow.
She must have looked a ejit TBH. skipping along the street. Runs away from the flamers........

[Cooroo]

Home again. I should point out that wasn't a script, I probably wouldn't have use those words! They were what came out at Oh God o'clock this morning when I posted. And obviously I didn't jump out of my car and accost the poor woman. But if I'd been walking past I would have said 'that looks fun'. That sort of thing.

Lovely to read people's stories. Just wanted to have a cheerful AIBU o redress the grousing and carping. Which I do plenty of myself!

[PersephoneInTheGarden]

I think that would have been lovely. The other day I took DS (nearly 3) for a walk as he was being a little horror. We stopped near the village shop and spent a good quarter of an hour jumping in puddles (had to go home and change afterwards, we were so muddy). Several people stopped to say how much fun we were having, and how nice it was to see us enjoying the rain, and it really cheered me up. DS loved it and had a nice chat to several people and their dogs too. Since my son was born I've seen how lovely and friendly people can be.

[PonyoLovesHam]

Miggsie my dd would love it if someone did balloon modelling for her!

Grunt I smile at very pg women and tiny babies all the time now! I really did find it odd at the time, but like I said where I live you'd usually get a "what the fuck are you looking at" if you smiled at someone! Also, when dd was first born I had severe anxiety for weeks and being out in public made me anxious. I'd hate to think I'd made someone feel dreadful or like a weirdo.

[jellybelly701]

grunt I've had similar. I was on a bus once and a child of about 4/5 kept turning in his seat to look at me, his mother was tapping away on her phone and he looked bored so I stuck my tongue out at him which made him giggle. we must have spent a good five minutes pulling faces at each other. Mum then turns around and see's me pulling faces at her son (who was still giggling) if looks could kill I would dead ten times over.

[PlantsAndFlowers]

I would have found it patronising.

I might often look like I'm having an amazing time with my DD skipping and singing and stuff, and I am also a crap mother who gets lots of things wrong.

It would also make me feel self conscious.

[jellybelly701]

Maybe she did lock her in a cellar, but maybe they removed their shoes and slid about on the kitchen floor. They might have even baked a cake or painted a picture.

[Gruntfuttock]

"I remember when I was very pregnant, and then when dd was a tiny baby, so many people would smile at me and her when out and about. It really threw me at first, we don't live a particularly 'friendly' area and at first I thought people were being weird"

Yes, I have frequently been made to feel dreadful because I've smiled at a baby or said how gorgeous one is and been treated like an unhinged weirdo.
I don't understand why so many people react like that to seeing someone smiling at a cute gurgling baby. I never approach them or try to touch them, just smile because I adore babies and can't help noticing them.

[RiverTam]

at SuitSplashMan, he sounds like someone who maybe isn't a dad, but the Best Uncle Ever to a gazillion nieces and nephews.

[diddl]

The thing for me is that in the examples given, people aren't saying "you are a fantastic mother", & that makes a difference imo.

[Nancy66]

I think it would be a bit weird to say anything.

Thing is you don't know that she is a 'fantastic mother'. Maybe she locked the kid in the cellar when she got home...

[Miggsie]

DH does balloon modelling and the comments we get on train stations when he starts blowing up balloons and making animals for bored kids - well they've always been positive.

Ii IS nice to be appreciated and to see people genuinely taking pleasure from the small things in life.

It is often overlooked that to experience joy and kindness really makes a difference to the quality of life and people who walk around disapproving of everything really get my goat. I had a grandmother whose sole purpose in life it seemed was to neither enjoy nor approve of anything. How sad that was for her, and those around her.

[PonyoLovesHam]

I like reading all these stories

I remember when I was very pregnant, and then when dd was a tiny baby, so many people would smile at me and her when out and about. It really threw me at first, we don't live a particularly 'friendly' area and at first I thought people were being weird

A few weeks ago dd (now age 3 and a half) had a massive screaming strop on a packed train, which resulted in me taking her out to the toilet bit, telling her off and waiting for her stop screaming and calm down, which after felt like hours she did. Then we sat down, had a cuddle and she fell asleep. I felt a lot better when the lady sitting opposite me gave me a smile and did an "aww" face. I rolled my eyes

[LikeSilver]

I love this thread! I have two that are memorable; one when I sitting in a cafe with dd who was about 9 months and baby led weaning. An elderly lady made a point to come up to us when she had finished her meal, to say how lovely it was to see dd (who was covered in pasta sauce) enjoying her lunch and that she had loved watching her. The other was a winter walk splashing in puddles with dd when she was a bit older, the woods were pretty empty as it was chilly but we bumped into some ladies walking their dogs who stopped us and said how lovely it was to see a child outside enjoying themselves even in the colder months.

I try to say nice things to people with newborns as I remember how hard I found it, and I also recently said to another mum how beautifully and kindly her daughter had played with my dd (who was younger) at a soft play centre, I don't know if she felt patronised but she definitely looked chuffed!

[jellybelly701]

until he said 'Oh for gods sake, shut up woman, you call that a spash? THIS is a splash' and he jumped in the puddle soaking us all! We all just fell about laughing, and so did quite a few other people in the area!

You just made me choke on my tea!

[PinkAndBlueBedtimeBears]

I took my 20mo dd puddle jumping yesterday, and had 4 week old ds in the sling, an old couple walking their dog said that it was wonderful to see a young mum (I'm 22, look about 12!) enjoying getting messy with her children.. It really cheered me up and make me smile, I've been battling pnd and sometimes you just need someone to say your doing it right!

I always feel like a bit of a numpty complementing parents about their childrens behaviour but I'm going to make an effort from now on :)