... Not to have spoken to this mum?

[Cooroo]

Driving home after horrible stressful day, I saw a woman with a 4 yo or thereabouts. They were skipping down the pavement together. Mum was waving arms about with every sign of having great fun.

I wanted to stop and say 'you are a fantastic mother and your daughter is going to have fun growing up with you'. And probably hug her. Mainly because i was feeling emotional.

Maybe best not to do this? But thank you anyway, unknown mother, for cheering me up a bit.

[Flipflops7]

I told a young mother on a train that she was doing a great job (lovely and lively twin boys of about two - she was communicating brilliantly with them and staying so calm). I think she was pleased.

[SanityClause]

If it was me, it would've come out all wrong.

I was at a zoo, recently, waiting in a queue for a little train. The previous train was still there, as a family with a child in a wheelchair were wanting to get on, but the wheelchair lift on the train wasn't working, and the driver was trying to fix it.

Eventually, he gave up, and they waited for our train, instead.

I saw her later and smilingly said something like, I hope they had enjoyed it, after all that wait.

I'm sure whatever I said came out like, "well, I hope it was worth it, making all those people wait for you!" which wasn't my meaning, at all!

[flanjabelle]

Since dd has been born I have had a really tough time in all aspects of my life (too much to go into here) and it's been the little interactions like this that have kept me going sometimes.

It is usually elderly ladies who take an interest in dd, and their compliments really give me a boost. I love to chat with them and tell them all about dd, it seems to make them happy too.

I think if more people were friendly like that, the world would be a much less lonely place for a lot of people. You never know how much a little chat will mean to someone. You could be the only person they have spoken to that day.

[Gruntfuttock]

diddl What would you have said to the OP if she had said it to you - or would you have just given her a filthy look and said nothing?

[NewEraNewMindset]

Lovely thread aside from a few miserable posts it warms my heart to see parents enjoying their children too. Ialways make sure I give a reassuring look or smile if I see someone who has had a bad day and you can see they are gritting their teeth trying to get through another tantrum.

My son decided last weekend to lay on the floor of SportsDirect and HOWL. I had him in one of those animal backpacks with the reins and he was scurrying along the floor under all the clothes getting tangled or laying on his back like an upturned beetle screaming. The only reason we were there at all was to get a refund and find two tops to the value of £10. My god the drama in having to cope with 10 minutes shopping lol. Thankfully everyone who was navigating past us was absolutely lovely and making funny comments that had me roaring. Made a very crappy situation a little better.

[Flipflops7]

I also recently told three young lads (about 8 yo) that it was nice of them to stand up unasked for elderly people getting on the bus, and would be very much appreciated. There are a lot of kids using the same bus who ignore less able people and have to be shamed into moving so I thought a bit of praise wouldn't go amiss.

[NewEraNewMindset]

Grunt I think diddl is having a bad day. How anyone could get so shitty about the prospect of someone saying something kind and complimentary to them is beyond me.

[spidey66]

This couple up my road have 2 kids (about 9 and 12 years) .They're lovely kids, with delightful manners. I've said to the dad how he's doing everything right as his kids were so nice. He was delighted.

[Sootgremlin]

The other thing I have remembered was a particularly stressful time on the bus, when I got my buggy wedged somehow in the space right in the gangway, baby was screaming, people queuing up behind me, I had bags of shopping and had to find my toddler a seat. I was beetroot by the time I'd sorted it all out and settled the baby, chatting away hysterically to the toddler the whole time, inwardly cursing all buses, everywhere.

When I finally dared to look up an elderly lady behind me gave me a big grin and breathed an exaggerated sigh of relief and we both laughed. That was as welcome as any comment at the time and just as memorable. So, yes, there is no need to go OTT, sometimes you don't need to say anything much at all and can have the same impact.

Thinking about it this sort of stuff happens more than I'd think, but it's more common perhaps to dwell on the negative incidents and let them effect you more than the positive ones.

[Seriouslyffs]

DD and I had just been to an interview for a new school- she was miserable but leaving was going to be a real hassle, expensive and she'd have to repeat the year, we'd been so anxious and the new school might not take her...
We stopped off at a pebbly shit shop on the way home- the interview had been a success and bar the hassle we felt we were on the home straight.

The lovely lady in the shop said, 'you too look so happy- it's lovely to see'

I have less of a gift for the right word and will invariably get the gender wrong when praising babies or sound patronising

[Sootgremlin]

And yy flanjabelle, lovely bus lady got twenty minutes of smiles and 'chat' from my 7 month old for her trouble, which she looked absolutely delighted with (both lady and baby!)

[5madthings]

Aww I think it's lovely and I try and say something nice or at least smile or if someone is struggling to give that Bern there smile etc.

We had a few comments on holiday last week, once on a train and another at a restaurant where two different couples told us how lovely the madthings were and that they were a credit to us :) it does make your day.

With 5 kids I often feel that when you go in a restaurant etc there can be a bit of omg from other customers and staff who may be worried about behaviour/noise so I sometimes think the comment is because they are surprised there was no bad behaviour/noise!

But compliments about my kids never fail to cheer me up and when I am having a bad day or they are being a pita I always remember them.

[Gruntfuttock]

"We stopped off at a pebbly shit shop on the way home"

Blimey! You can buy everything these days can't you? I'd love to know where that is, in case I ever feel the need to buy some pebbly shit one day. Maybe for a birthday present for someone I don't like much.

[NewEraNewMindset]

[Tvseemstobemyhobby]

I think this is a reflection on you OP that you're a lovely person who appreciates seeing those fun moments. I would have glowed for a week after a comment like that.
Asleep that also made me do a little gulp!

And why do people feel the need to say "you've got your hands full" I had that from a shopkeeper yesterday. DD1 was standing ready at the till being her usual well behaved self and DD2 was in the pushchair for once not yelling to get out or pulling a display down. I was a bit confused.

[Sootgremlin]

I've nearly howled in Sports Direct before now newera, something about being in close proximity to all that Lycra sends me peculiar. That and the GIANT MUGS. Your ds sounds entirely reasonable to me

[windchime]

Performance Parenting. I cannot bear it. Skipping down the road and waving arms about? That woman has issues

[Sootgremlin]

What sort of issues? Are you never silly with your kids windchime? Or do you just say no if you're out in public ?



My ds used to like me to chase him and pretend to be a shark, jaws noises the lot. One time he wanted me to do it over the park, it was just after I'd had his sister and been out of action for playtime for a while. Well, I nearly didn't do it for fear of someone thinking I was a show off 'performance parent', but then realised I'd be more of a tool if I didn't. It made him happy and who cares about the smacked-arse faces? They're not important, but he is.

[Gruntfuttock]

I think it's very mean-spirited to say the mother described in the OP was "performance-parenting" Maybe she was enjoying playing with her 4 year-old daughter and they were both simply having a bit of fun. Maybe she didn't care if anyone else saw her or what they thought about her. Why would strangers matter more to her than her own little girl?

[fuzzpig]

It doesn't sound like performance parenting to me (and I hate PPing so am aware of it generally) - just someone who is uninhibited.

DH is like that - he is happy to be silly with the DCs and genuinely doesn't give a toss what other people think (if he even considers that they are looking at all). I wish I was so free! :)

[jellybelly701]

Performance parenting? Really windchime?

I didn't pretend to be a gorilla in pizza hut to draw attention to myself or show off, I did it to make my child happy. Believe me scratching my pits and jumping up and down is one of the last things I want to do in public.

[jellybelly701]

oops clicked send too soon.

.... and I'm sure the lady with 'issues' waving her arms about was just trying to make her child happy too.

Life is too short to spend each and every day being boring and serious.

[Mouthfulofquiz]

A nice lady stopped and said I was doing a grand job when my toddler was lying on the pavement wailing because I'd just said he COULD have an ice cream. Yes, that's right, COULD!!! We had a little chuckle about it, then he started laughing too and I felt very happy :-)

[Tournesol]

This thread has reminded me that I must curb my very British impulse so denigrate.

I have had some lovely comments on my kids in the past but by reflex I always seem to reply with a negative like "you should of seen them ten minutes ago" or "they weren't so cute when they were screaming at 3am".

Will note to self not to do this again. I don't know why I cannot take a compliment even on my lovely kids

[Gruntfuttock]

Completely agree, jellybelly Fooling about and laughing with your child is a lovely aspect of being a parent IMO. It's good to be a bit daft sometimes, whatever your age. Of course, that applies to being a grandparent too, (not that I ever had any fun with either my parents or grandparents*)

*I imagined Marvin the paranoid android's voice saying that bit.