hairy pits

[HeyKu]

I was on the train the other day in a sleeveless top and had a good stretch. I noticed the lady on the row of seats opposite looking curiously at my pits - I don't shave through personal choice, it doesn't personally bother me hence I see no point, I was just curious to know what people actually thought? I've not had any comments, save for people discussing how disgusting they think hairy armpits on women are in general and then looking horribly embarassed when they realise that I do .

[JapaneseMargaret]

Wiggly, I had an experience like that recently.

I have been having hypoglycaemic episodes, and was in hospital doing a supervised fast. I was having blood taken after about 40 hours of fasting. I fainted and went into a seizure. A nurse started hooking me up to do an ECG.

In the middle of my seizure, undergoing all the physical aspects of that - loss of bodily control, old-lady claw hands, and heart-rate dropping right down - I was overcome with shame and embarrassment that the nurse putting the ECG pads on me was going to see my unshaven legs.

That's how ingrained the pressure on women to be hair-free is.

[DontButterMyNaan]

I have huge admiration for women who strap hang on the tube with some hair or stubble in their underarms. Especially if they don't look the type from looking at the rest of their style (yes, I can stereotype with the best of them!).

I like challenges to social conventions, especially one as ridiculous as female body hair which is driven by men and industry. It shows strength, independence and sassiness ...all good attributes in a woman.

[Viviennemary]

I don't want to see people next to me with hairy armpits whether they are male or female. Strap hanging on the tube is simply not on with horrible hairy armpits. Dons hard hat. But that's how I feel.

[LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726]

D'ya know? Everytime I see a thread like this I've always jumped on with vehemence, defending my right to be waxed to infinity because "I like it". Well maybe I do, after a fashion. You can get to like anything, can't you? If I hadn't bludgeoned my brain with the mantra that broccoli is wonderful and delicious, I'd never have eaten it - and now I do think it's delicious and wonderful.

I now think the same about body hair... I'm changing my stance somewhat, or maybe even completely. We ARE conditioned where body hair is concerned. There's no getting away from it, if we would even do a mental double-take at seeing a woman's hairy pits, that's the conditioning right there.

I would be looking at you, OP, surreptitiously in the hope that you wouldn't see me, battling with myself that it's just 'hair' and both men and women have this - and internally shuddering at the thought of my having it - and then thinking that you were brave. Horribly patronising and I don't like myself for those thoughts but they're honest.

We really have fallen very hard into the notion that women must be hairfree except head, brows and eyelashes. It does make us more 'childlike' and it's the most successful, insidious method of female conformance dressed up as a beauty regime.

I know that I will still wax to infinity and beyond, nothing is going to change that, but I'm going to own it, to know where it's come from and what it means, and I won't be able to hide from that knowledge again.

Mindalina, it was your post in particular that slapped me between my (waxed) brows. Thank you.

[CaptChaos]

Then you might want to avoid tube stations east of Waterloo tomorrow, Viv, as I and my hairy pits will be there, and we wouldn't want to offend you

[Viviennemary]

It's a long time since I was on a tube. But I was once a frequent user. I can't remember seeing hairy pits but I wasn't looking.

[Writerwannabe83]

If I was on a train and a woman or man was holding the strap and they had their hairy armpit in my eye line I think I'd have to move.

[LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726]

JapaneseMargaret... Your post really does strike it home, the difference between men and women. My husband had to go into hospital for an ECG and he blithely unbuttoned his shirt and whipped off his trousers for the pads to be put on. He's extremely hairy - legs, chest, back, everywhere. He didn't think anything of it and I was thinking at the time that a woman would probably have concerns with their appearance even during times of stress when what you look like doesn't matter a jot.

I hope you're ok now? I understand your feelings too. Very much so.

[maddy68]

I am actually grossed out by hairy pits. I imagine all the sweat and deo clumps in there (I know it's irrational) but seriously grosses me sorry

[HeyKu]

maddy out of curiosity, does your disgust cover armpit hair of both genders? Never personally experienced or seen deo clumps but at least they'd be clumps of 'clean!' better than some other types of clumps that I've learnt about on here!

JapaneseMargaret really hope you're ok!

[MaryWestmacott]

Thing is, while I think you are perfectly within your right to have the pits of your choice, and indeed, to shave or no shave any other area of your body, I do think body hair shouldn't be on display on the commute.

I don't want to see body hair on men or woman in public.

You are right that men don't have the pressure to remove their body hair as woman do, however, aside from on the beach, mens normal clothing covers all areas of body hair. Few men in this weather are wearing shorts, and even then 'short shorts' haven't been in main stream fashion for men for a long time, and those who were sporting them this summer were also generally shaved/waxed.

Increasing numbers of men are waxing or shaving their chests, backs and arm pits.

Basically, if you don't feel the need to groom your armpits for display, why are you buying clothes like sleeveless tops to show them off? there are lots of clothing options for woman, sleeveless tops are an odd choice for someone who doesn't want to make a 'feature' of her armpits.

Plus it's strange to do a full on, theatrical, arms in the air stretch on public transport, I've never felt the need, perhaps the other woman was only looking at you oddly because you were doing this massive 'attention to my pits' style stretch? Unless it's like you've stuck a fake beard under each arm, she probably didn't notice them, unless you kept your arms up for a really long time to make sure she got a good old eye full.

Don't do attention seeking behaviour if you don't want attention.

[MrsKoala]

WHen you say body hair Mary, do you actually mean bodies? I just wonder because body hair is all over us and if you have dark hair usually very noticeable. So without removing the hair the only way to no show it is to cover it all. In the hot summer months i think a sleevless top/strappy dress is not an odd choice at all for someone. Why should they wear something less comfortable?

Also not sure about your commute, but i have seen loads of men with very hairy legs/pits in shorts/t-shirts where their hair is on display. Same as if i wore a t-shirt and held on to the rail, someone would see my pits. I wouldn't have to be theatrical about it.

i find this attitude very sterile, anti human, self loathing and misanthropic. Very sad to feel this way about ones own body and those around us.

I also fee quite uncomfortable about people saying how disgusting they find body hair. Would you feel able to say that about other things, like 'ginger hair' or 'fat people' without being criticised? Some of us cannot help our hirsutism and these attitudes can make us ashamed to leave the house.

[Mrsfrumble]

I buy and wear sleeveless tops because summers are bloody hot where I live! When I'm choosing my clothes I don't think "will this show off my stubbly pits?" because I really don't devote much thought to my pits. I don't spend much time with my arms in the air either! I might reach behind my head to tie my hair back or to lift a child onto my shoulders, but I've never noticed anyone react to the state of my pits during these interludes.

However, as a previous poster mentioned, I may be comfortable with my body hair because I'm just not very hairy. Even when I haven't shaved my pits for a few weeks the effect is more "shadow" than "rampant bush", so I can be lazy without provoking pearl-clutching and wretching from those with more conformist attitudes to grooming.

[maddy68]

Yes I get grossed out by men's pit hair as well, my own dh trims his. Couldn't cope if it was long, short hair on men for me, no hair on woman in my opinion

[MaryWestmacott]

MrsFrumble - but sleeveless tops aren't really a fashion for men (aside from the TOWIE lot, but they also wax their pits) - they are a fashion for woman but they do draw attention to the shoulder and arm pit area in the way a normal t-shirt wouldn't.

I don't like seeing armpit or leg hair on anyone - and if you are flashing your pubes on public transport, you really need more clothing. (thankfully, DH isn't a very hairy man)

But as I said, I think the other woman was more likely looking at the stretch, unless the OP kept her arms in the air for a really long time, a quick arms up wouldn't really register the arm pit area, OP, did you keep your arms for a long time? That's does strike me as an odd thing to do, that wasn't really a quick unself-concious stretch, it sounds more like a "show" - either she was just looking at you stretching out on the train, or at your pits because you did a really big stretch and showed them off.

If you were just holding the bar to stand up on the train or just sat normally, it's unlikely you'll show your arm pit hair, unless the hairs are really bushy and long.

[MrsKoala]

most men i knows hair is longer than their t-shirt sleeves when arm is up in the air. And being dark haired, with pale sensitive skin (why i don't like to shave) mine is also noticeable under t-shirt sleeves if i haven't waxed for a few months. Also mine grows quite far down my arm, at least a third of the way from pit to elbow. So even when shaved you can see the roots thru the skin usually further down than a womans capped/t-shirt reaches.

[Mrsfrumble]

On a really hot day I might choose a vest top over a t-shirt because it's cooler. I'll be thinking of the extra fabric of a t-shirt that will bunch up under my arms and get all damp and sweaty; I'll feel uncomfortable and may smell by the end of the day. In a sleeveless top I won't. I'm really not thinking about drawing attention to my shoulders or pits!

I appreciate that women's fashion allows me to make this choice.

[tobiasfunke]

I hate shaving my pits. I used to do it when I was younger and I used to get rashes and be itchy. So now I don't but then I don't wear sleeveles things. Occasionally I do it if I'm going on holiday and I'm swimming a lot- mostly because I have caught other women staring at me. They are not even that hairy.
I don't smell. I'm in my 40's and have stopped giving a shit what people think of me.

I think all that fanjo waxing is weird as well.

[KoalaDownUnder]

I don't like seeing armpit or leg hair on anyone - and if you are flashing your pubes on public transport, you really need more clothing. (thankfully, DH isn't a very hairy man)

Leg hair?! Sorry, but I think that's your problem to deal with, not anyone else's. Leg hair is not even in an intimate/sweat-trapping area.

Men are not expected to have completely hairless limbs, and women shouldn't be either.

[KoalaDownUnder]

(And I'm virtually hairless myself, btw; just have some very soft, light, sparse hair on my legs and can get away without shaving for weeks. But I'm aware that not everyone is like that, and am certainly not offended by other people's hairy limbs.)

[ChunkyPickle]

My armpit hair is lovely and soft like a little baby bunny if I leave it to grow out. My armpits when shaved are sweaty and stubbly and spotty.

I recently shaved them to take the kids swimming, and remembered how much I hated it. So sod it. Next time I go swimming I shan't bother. Let people stare. Legs too.

It's natural and normal on me, and I don't see why I should be ashamed by my own, normal body.

[ememem84]

I probably would have had a look. But only because I'm too afraid to bare hairy pits myself. Good on you.

[NinnyNoodleNoo]

Conversely I've found I've had less swearing/odour issues since I stopped shaving and using conventiomal deodorants (I make my own). And yes, I have asked people (including my brutally blunt 20 and 18 year old sons, who are usually covered from head-to-toe in Lynx!)

[NinnyNoodleNoo]

Swearing? I meant sweating ;)

[Darkesteyes]

To all those who dont want to see hairy armpits on the tube..............................

I await the change.org petition you are going to start to demand air conditioning on public transport in the summer.

That way it will be cool enough for ppl with body hair to cover up so it doesnt offend your sensibilities.

After all im 100% sure that you wernt expecting ppl with body hair to cover up in hot weather and sweat their guts out to please you.