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AIBU?

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Original poster

To ask at what age (if ever) do you think guns are appropriate toys for children?

58 replies

RunRunRun123 · 12/08/2014 17:30

My 3yr old has been playing with some other boys today and has come home obsessed with guns and war games. I had visited a friends house and her ds same age had lots of these pretend machine guns and gave my ds one. there was a group of children so it got quite raucous with the children running round killing each other and shouting 'die, die, die' and I ended up making an excuse and leaving (we'd have had to leave shortly after that anyway). I was just really uncomfortable with DS playing war games at 3 yrs old and running around playing guns. My DH shoots (purely for our food) so we have a gun and wonder if this is partly why I am uncomfortable with the concept of this dangerous machine being viewed as a toy. Also I don't want DS ever really associating violence, war and guns etc with fun and play but know as he grows up I can't protect him from this, just thought 3 is still too early. Not sure if I'm valid in my concerns or being pfb?

OP posts:
Fooshufflewickbannanapants · 12/08/2014 18:53

I banned guns and swords and any play that involves hurting each other, I have six well adjusted, caring, kind kids, as I'm sure many parents on here who have allowed guns etc do. I just really don't think playing to hurt each other is nice.
They never bothered making them either, so it's a personal choice and it depends how you do it I guess.

ICanSeeTheSun · 12/08/2014 18:56

I have my very own nurf gun, that taught DH not to shoot me.

icanmakeyouicecream · 12/08/2014 18:58

My son is 4 and I would be upset if it started this early. Inevitably it's going to happen but I hope it's not anytime soon!

UselessNess · 12/08/2014 18:59

I never bought guns for my DC and I didn't let them play first person shooting video games until they were 15/16 (v.old!) but I didn't stop them playing 'shooting' games with homemade Lego, toast, hockey sticks, toothbrush etc guns.

My boys and girls were never particularly 'rough' but the boys both made guns from a very early age. I was surprised but didn't worry about it too much.

musicalendorphins2 · 12/08/2014 19:02

The only toy guns we allowed were water blasters.

Pregnantberry · 12/08/2014 19:08

I don't think the age would be the issue for me, it would be the broader nature of the child. So, if he were quite a laid back boy who happened to have seen some superhero with a gun or his friends had them and he saw one in a shop and showed an interest, I wouldn't be worried. I would be tempted to treat it like any other toy so that it didn't gain special appeal.
If he were shouting 'die die die' in games and showing some kind of aggressive/destructive impulse and he asked for a toy gun, I wouldn't let him have one as it would be something I would consider worth discouraging.

Original poster
RunRunRun123 · 12/08/2014 19:32

Thanks all, it is the first time we have encountered this and probably not the last I am sure! I do remain concerned especially as we have guns in the house, DH is always extremely careful with them etc but the thought of my son ever, ever thinking this is a toy really concerns me. It also not so much the running round with gun (though I was shocked at the realistic look and sound of these pretend machine guns) it is the level of acceptable violence that kids associate with this. I think we need to work out our own boundaries to it all. I must say though I was surprised that none of the other mums seemed bothered and my DS was mid way in the age range,so there were three or four others who were younger than him playing the same game.

OP posts:
wobblyweebles · 13/08/2014 00:39

Do you have to keep the guns in the house?

Personally that would worry me far more than a child playing with toy guns.

RonaldMcDonald · 13/08/2014 00:46

Toy guns any age
Shotgun 11 ish
Rifle 13 ish

ICanSeeTheSun · 13/08/2014 00:55

I hope the gun is in a locked cupboard with the bullets kept separate.

AstonishingMouse · 13/08/2014 01:01

I have children who are a good bit older and would not regard this as acceptable, so no, I don't think you are being pfb.
I seem to remember reading years ago that if children make guns out of lego and sticks, you should probably leave them to it as long as they are not actually trying to inflict violence on each other. The lego or stick will then probably become something else at some point and the play is likely to remain creative. A toy gun can only be a gun, so is not a good or appropriate plaything for a small child. This sounds true to me. So if my children pretend a stick is a gun I would leave them to it, but I wouldn't encourage them by buying a toy gun. And certainly not a toy machine gun, which seems particularly inappropriate for a 3 year old.

Pickelback · 13/08/2014 01:08

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

bigTillyMint · 13/08/2014 01:12

We were always staunchly against the DC having guns as toys. DS still remembers one summer on a camping hol in France drooling over a pocket-money type one in a supermarket when he was about 5! We did give in eventually, but he was never really that bothered (DD showed no interest whatsoever) and has never asked for a nerf gun or anything. He did ask for GTA so he would have it if mates came round, he doesnt play it at all otherwiseConfused

DoubtfireDear · 13/08/2014 01:19

DS (5) has had a couple of nerf guns, a small hand size one and one of the bigger ones. I bought them for him, generally I let him play in the garden or in the hallway and he knocks down skittles or something, rather than "killing" anything.

His Papa bought him a cheapo but quite realistic one a couple of weeks ago, it shot rubber sucker things for sticking to windows and I "forgot" to bring it home with us. I don't like them when they look like the real thing and are associated with violence but I think it is easy to keep things like nerf guns or water pistols seperate from that.

dreamingbohemian · 13/08/2014 01:22

Never

I am massively anti-gun for personal reasons

My DS is 4.5 and has never made a gun out of his hands or duplo, never shouted die die die, I think that's crazy that kids so young are doing this (sorry)

I'm going to try to stay reasonable about it as he grows up, in terms of pretend play and such, but he will never have a toy gun. I actually think they should not be made, and indeed in some US cities they are illegal because so many kids got shot by police who thought they were real guns.

I would have left too OP, I don't think it's PFB at all.

Squtternutbaush · 13/08/2014 01:25

I was shot by an air rifle whilst stupidly messing around with friends as a teenager so I hate the bloody things!

I've never bought my 8yo one and he knows why, unfortunately from the age of about 5 the IL's have deemed this a suitable boy present (DD gets suitably creepy dolls) despite my protests.

Our rules are that they are not aimed at anyone and games get stopped if language gets too violent.

ICanSeeTheSun · 13/08/2014 01:27

I agree about creepy dolls, DD had a baby bride doll. I mean come on babies don't get married

Squtternutbaush · 13/08/2014 01:38

Icansee you actually own the bride of Chucky?! Shock:o

Original poster
RunRunRun123 · 13/08/2014 07:31

WE have a farm so yes we have to keep the gun in the house as there are very strict laws about how they kept and secured - all of which we follow rigorously. Reading all of these is making me feel that maybe I am right in my instincts about this. I don't really want D to play these games and he hasn't mentioned it since that evening. I think it is something we will remain vigilant about. I can't really see him playing too many computer games etc certainly not in the next few years as we are quite anti-technology as entertainment - he watches a maximum of half an hour of CBeebies before bed and we don't have any game consols.

P.S. Totally agree about weird dolls!!! totally and completely freak me out also!

OP posts:
Sirzy · 13/08/2014 07:34

DS is 4. He has no toy guns but doesn't stop him from making them from sticks or bricks or just his fingers!

purplemurple1 · 13/08/2014 07:42

My partner also hunts so we have several guns in the house, and toy guns already around from older cousins. His cousins have been taught from an early age that guns are dangerous, not toys and never to be touched etc they are used for hunting when you are old enough and pass your hunting test. But it's fine to play hunting with you toy rifle it's not fine to pretent to shoot people, or scare younger kids etc. This has been helped by them seeing the animals and really learning what a gun actually does, as and when they have got old enough to be interested in it.
I'm sure like all kids mine will have a phase but unlike other kids ours will need to learn they aren't all toys.

maninawomansworld · 13/08/2014 08:32

Practically my whole family is / has been involved in shooting (either pests or for food/sport) since forever, seeing as we are a farming family. DW and I have almost a dozen various guns in the house between us (all legal and kept under very tight security obviously) so it is highly likely our will end up shooting when they get older as it's a way of life in our house.
I don't mind plastic toys guns when they're little but air BB guns that fire those little plastic pellets or air guns that you often see older children / teenagers mucking about with when they get a bit older are an absolute no-no. By the time they get to 5 or 6 they need to start having some respect for guns and realising that they can be dangerous if misused.

maninawomansworld · 13/08/2014 08:36

purplemurple
That is a great lesson for a kid. I'm teaching my 12 year old cousin to shoot at the moment and showing him the damage a bullet does to a deer or fox is an excellent lesson. Not in a gory 'look at this it's horrible' way but in a factual 'the bullet travelling at x fps enters here, and travels through the body, deforming, causing this damage, and this is what causes death etc..'
Really shows then first hand why you need to respect guns.

BathroomTiles · 13/08/2014 08:37

I don't mind waterguns, toy swords, laser guns, nerf, light sabers them fashioning guns out of Lego etc. but I wouldn't have a replica machine gun in the house and I wouldn't like 'die die' being shouted. And if anything it's me who actively encourages rougher play and swords and I think I say 'fight' as mine are both extremely sensitive and I worry about that, especially the one at school. Just don't like little ones running round pretending to use look a like guns.

sashh · 13/08/2014 09:59

Did anyone see the programme about US kids and their guns, not toy guns but real ones. And the 6 year old telling his parents he was too young for a gun?

We were not allowed toy guns as kids, so used sticks or bananas until we were old enough to buy our own with pocket money, I was very proud of my luger cap gun.

Strangely enough I am very anti gun now.

I think there is a huge difference between playing with toy guns and violence.

Children are often quite morbid. We actually played a game where someone would suggest a form of death and we would role play dieing that death whether it was gas or machine gun.

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