To think that women's refuges are not "outdated"

[BertieBotts]

Article in the Guardian today about closure of women's refuges.

www.theguardian.com/society/2014/aug/03/domestic-violence-refuge-crisis-women-closure-safe-houses

This is so, so sad and frightening and should not be happening. Outdated, FFS. I wish the need were outdated, but it is very much not. I presume that the "outdated" comment is borne of some pressing need to include men, somehow forgetting that refuges are not just about having a safe place to flee to (of course, this is important for male and female victims) but also about a recovery, a shared female existence, the acknowledgement that male violence against women is not "just a domestic issue", but happens within a culture which excuses and condones it, for the most part. Female abuse victims need specialist support because of this. Not to mention that women are far more often fleeing with children, meaning different kinds of facilities are needed. Female violence against men (or male on male partner violence, which is actually more common) still exists of course and yes should be taken seriously, with victims supported and given a safe space but to say that it is the same, and that the same kind of support, recovery and facilities are needed is a fallacy.

It absolutely gobsmacks me that one was closed because they were having higher numbers of women return to their partners. Removing it altogether helps how? And the closing of specialist Asian and BME centres is an utter disgrace.

What can we do? There have been petitions, fund raisers. They don't seem to be DOING anything.

I would imagine being in a women refuge is like a living support group.

When your children have had to leave all their toys and personal items behind, maybe school friends and all the routines ect I can see why a mother is very tempted to go back. Within the refuge the other victims of abuse can encorage each other to get a better life than suffer with abuse every day.

Also, a MNer myself and a few others supported was in a refuge a couple of years back. Went back to her partner, the refuge was empty over Christmas and she was feeling very low and alone. Later left again and was offered a flat rather than refuge space. The stories she told about the flat were horrendous - wardens letting themselves in for spurious reasons, emergency call button not working properly. She was alone with a very small child. It's not a good situation. Refuges aren't perfect either but they are the baseline that we need.

This from December - over 150 women being turned away from refuges each day.

Please don't tell me men are in greater need of refuge places than women are. (not that it should need to be a competition)

www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/refuges-turn-away-more-than-150-women-a-day-because-of-budget-cuts-8978713.html

With regards to Men's refuge I have found my notes there is only one Men's refuge in the UK that takes children. This place currently is full.

I think though that it is awful that any Woman refuge places are shutting and I can't see how the answer is keeping the woman at their homes. I really think that this is a backwards move.

According to the google search I've just done, that would be Kendal Lodge in Shropshire, which has only three bedrooms, so it wouldn't take much to fill it up. In the article I read, it said they had helped 50 men since opening (which at the time of the article was 5 years). If four months is an average stay, which sounds likely, then that one probably is full to capacity.

Yes we do need more services like this, but you can't take them away from women either. I just can't see why this is being presented as some kind of solution.

If they were offering extra money in order to set up services for men I could see the logic, but witholding money unless charities take away services for women in order to reassign them for men is awful.

I have not said you need to take from woman's refuge for men again I think this would be wrong.

Also thanks for the info about the place in Shropshire Bertie I will pass that on to course leader if that's ok as this is information that is going out county wide that there is only 1 refuge place for men and children in the UK. (The one you have mentioned is not the same as the one in the meeting.)
I really think that there should be a MN campaign re the closure of Woman's refuge as like I have said would be backwards and would literally put lives at danger.

I'm surprised if they weren't aware of that one, because it looks like they had quite a bit of press about three years ago when there were several interviews with residents. Of course for obvious reasons, it's not usually easy to find details of refuges on google.

There is a thread in Campaigns if you want to add support :)

It is totally unacceptable

Two women a week are dying at the hands of their partner or ex partner not much change in the last 10 years yes still this is as always is derailed by the argument that men need support too

More support too is needed for women to get into programmes like the Freedom programme this may stop the need for so many women having to flee from an abusive parter regardless they are needed and no woman should ever be turned away

Men being abusive bastards needs to become outdated. Until that happens, the need for a safe space for a woman to escape to remains very much current.

YANBU.

Agreed :(

Similar problems have happened with adoption actually, especially for children who were adopted not so far from their birth families 5-10 years before the advent of facebook etc. It doesn't take a teenager long to find their birth family given a name, and when they're in the next town they can just hop on a bus. Nowadays they place children much further away to minimise this but the world is changing, it's definitely harder to stay hidden, let's hope this is a catalyst for tougher controls on people who perpetrate abusive behaviour.

Mumsnet Campaigns thread

Another article, this time on why refuges are so important as opposed to community based care options. www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/vera-baird-qc/domestic-violence-womens-refuge_b_5647973.html