To not have any play dates this holiday?

[missmash]

I have always had playdays for my DS(6) friends in the holidays, ranging from one friend to "parties" with up to 6 friends but after a distinct lack of return invites I decided no more!!
But now I'm beginning to wobble, DS is asking if x and y can come over but I just have such a lack of enthusiasm for it, some of the children have one parent who works full time so I understand that it is difficult but really AIBU to expect an invitation in return, I think it's good manners but maybe it's ok not to reciprocate and just expect your child to play at other peoples houses.
I'm really trying not to get annoyed but it's hard! Whenever DS has gone to other peoples houses the parents always say he has been good so I'm fairly sure it's not because he's badly behaved.

[Fourarmsv2]

DS1 is pretty much at the 'call for each other' stage. He has one friend who lives further away so things have to be organised. We're probably in play date debt to that mum. I acknowledge this frequently and buy flowers when I've asked for childcare.

DS2 doesn't get invited half as often as we invite his friends. However, all his friends are eldest children and I think that makes a difference. I don't mind, but DS2 does notice.

I'd rather be in 'credit' because as a WOHM those mums are the ones I ask for favours when my childcare arrangements break down.

[burgatroyd]

Yanbu. One mother told me she couldn't bear the thought of hosting but regularly has her child around mine.
Later found out she did host play date but didn't invite my dd.
I still invite her dd over though. Am glad you raised this thread, op.

[tobysmum77]

yanbu to think it's rude not to reciprocate but yabu to deny play dates for it. I would never dream of having more than one child at a time over though

And I thought it was accepted practice that the parent drops and collects?

[MsVenus]

I just sent a text saying if you want to meet up in x park/place please let us know. This way my ds gets to play with friends in a neutral place & hosting doesnt fall on one set of parents.

[Happy36]

You are not being unreasonable.

Firstly, playdates should be reciprocated.

Secondly, the school holidays are a nice chance for family time and perhaps to make some friends with children on holiday in the pool or the playground etc. There's no need to have the hassle of arranging to see schoolfriends too. Arrange a nice family picnic or bikeride or something and your son will forget about asking for playdates.

[missmash]

The drop and run thing was more because the mother in question always drops and runs which is how i like it but on the rare occasions DS has been invited back she always invites me in, lovely, but then proceeds to let me oversee our combined (5) children while she "gets some jobs done"!!
DS has been to all of his friends who have been to mine but in most cases it's once while their children have been 15-20 times and 2 of them I regulary pick up/take to school as well.
I just wanted to see if others experienced this and how to copeI'm not going to stop it for DS sake and actually all his friends seem to love coming here, at least they seen greatful!

[shebird]

I think it is difficult unless you know the circumstances of the family concerned. I always try and reciprocate but with work and after school activities there just aren't enough hours in the week sometimes. Before I know it months have slipped by and my DD is no longer that friendly with the child and not to keen to have her round . Having said this I would no way accept so many play dates as the OP has said without a return invite.

[Jinty64]

I very rarely have children to the house to play. I really don't enjoy can't stand it at all and ds3 and the other child often dont want to play with the same things end up squabbling. If he is invited to someone's house I usually reciprocate by taking the other child to soft play and buy lunch at the weekends.

[Stormbrewing]

This used to drive me mad when my children were young. One do my daughters had a best friend who came to our house several times a week. We always had to drop her home in the evening and I went along with it for some months, thinking that the mum didn't have a way to collect her. I eventually twigged and asked the mother whether she used taxis/buses? She replied 'oh no, I have a car but I don't ever drive in the evening or weekends or I'll lose my parking space in the road outside my house!'

[missmash]

Haha Storm what a brilliant bit of entitlement!! Just wow!!!

[Hulababy]

Happy - when you have an only child, ime meeting up with school friends in the holidays are important - well, important to the child anyway and also often important for the parent to get some time out of playing for a short while. I love spending time with dd, always have. But it's so much easier when she has a friend round.