for not wanting colleagues/new friends to see scars? *possible trigger*

[FickleUsernameChooser]

When I was younger and suffered a few setbacks that I don't particularly want to go in to, I self harmed. As a result one arm is pretty chewed up, especially above the elbow. Around the home I'm comfortable enough with close family that it doesn't matter, but in this heat my long sleeves are causing comment at work or socializing with newer friends that don't know history.

DP thinks I'm being silly and nobody would care or say anything, but I think it may even harm me professionally. My scars, although fading, are still quite red, raised and angry looking despite the amount of time elapsed.

WWYD? Anyone else dealt with this? Also, any nice summery fashion recommendations welcomed :)

Sorry for depressing thread.

[Outforanotherwalkbitch]

I'm in the process of covering mine with tattoos. Top of the arm is done and will be completed this Sept. It's costing a fortune but is giving me tonnes more confidence than I've ever had before.

[Outforanotherwalkbitch]

When I did wear short sleeves I've had strangers and drunk people in clubs and pubs hassling me a lot.

[cardamomginger]

Try Kryolan Professional Make up for cover up. It's used by the Royal Ballet, and at least one of their recent Principal dancers was heavily tattooed (with extremely pale skin!) and not a thing showed!

uk.kryolan.com/product/dermacolor-camouflage-creme-4-g

It's pretty specialist stuff, but you might be able to find a stockist near you, where you can try it out and they can advise. If you are in London Charles Fox in Covent Garden is the place to go:

CHARLES H FOX
22 TAVISTOCK STREET
COVENT GARDEN
LONDON
WC2E 7PY
MON - WED: 9.30AM - 5.45PM
THU - FRI: 9.30AM - 6.45PM
SAT: 10AM - 5.45PM
SUN: 12NOON - 5PM
Website:CHARLESFOX.CO.UK
Phone: 020 7240 3111

[cardamomginger]

Oh, and what sort of place is it where short sleeves/sleeveless is somehow mandatory?!?! I tend to wear elbow length plus in summer. What's their deal with it??

Very strange....

[MaidOfStars]

DP thinks I'm being silly and nobody would care or say anything

He's right, on the second half. You're not silly but nobody cares nor would say owt.

[FredFlintstonesSister]

I have this problem every summer. I work in a secondary school and unfortunately kids do ask. They often comment on the long sleeves and ask about the many scars on my hands that I can't cover. I SH prolifically for about 2 years over 15 years ago and am left with lots of scars. I still don't have a reply when someone asks about them. I am usually a confident person but this totally flusters me. I'm sorry I don't have advice but I do know what you're going through.

[Pilgit]

What rude people to comment on your sleeves! Lots of people don't want to show off their arms (although in fairness that is mostly vanity about bingo wings and not in the same league). If comments are made you could always revert to the mumsnet staple of 'did you mean to be so rude?'you have every right to dress how you wish. They need to wind their necks in and piss off.

[Bonsoir]

I have no scars and quite nice arms but don't feel the need to wear sleeveless tops in this weather...

[Thenapoleonofcrime]

I never show my arms in summer, not for self-harm reasons, just have flabby upper arms and prefer elbow length or below. I also burn very easily, sounds like you do to, so it's easier to put on a floaty/light cover up than worry about suncream. I don't think I would find anyone wearing long sleeves that odd, one person asked me if I was a bit hot and I just said I always cover up due to burning easily- you could say the same very plausibly if you don't want to go into the whys and wherefores.

[sunbathe]

Yes indeed, pilgit, how rude of people. I can't fathom why they're so nosey.

[Shetland]

I go for floaty tops mostly but I have gone for short sleeves lately as my office is just too hot. Mine are on the inside of my forearm and I just cover them with my other hand if any one comes near. I would love to not care what people make of it but I'm a long way from that. No one has every commented though.

[HillyHolbrook]

I have scars on my upper arms and I wear tops with lace sleeves. They hide the scars but are still cool, or I go for floaty chiffon blouses or a cami with one of those kimono cardigan things with loose sleeves to the elbow.

It's not that I'm embarrassed it's more I don't want to make people uncomfortable as they will notice and not want to comment and will then most likely go on to make assumptions about me. I'm not about to whip them out and say to everyone in the office 'Hi, these are my scars and I have them because I used to self harm and this is why.'

[CallMeExhausted]

While my marks are not from self harm, I am very scarred but rarely get asked about them.

What I do get asked about are the bruises I constantly sport. I bruise badly and deeply and have had "well meaning" individuals try to intervene, assuming that I am the victim of abuse. The bruises (primarily on my arms and legs) are mostly from moving my disabled DD and her equipment.

I do my best to choose my clothing to conceal them, and stay as far away from swimming pools as I can. When in a swim costume, I just can't hide them.

I hope you can find comfort, and be proud of yourself for making this part of your past.

[Toizzy]

My left arm is absolutely covered in scars and I find it so hard to deal with. I'm absolutely fine now, very happy and haven't sh in years but I just don't know what to do about the scars.Every summer is spoilt quite a bit by this.
I have very recently been considering getting a tattoo done but don't know if it's a possibility on my arm and if I could afford it

[trappedinsuburbia]

I hate sleeveless tops because I hate underarms, I tend to wear elbow or 3/4 length sleeves. Could you say you have bingo wings or something?
How rude of people to comment on your sleeves !!

[FickleUsernameChooser]

Toizzy - a friend of mine covered his scars with tattoos. It works well although they have to have healed for a few years first. You should be able to get a consultation :)

Cardamom - it is an office where there is no air con and a serious overheating problem. All the guys are in short sleeved shirts and the girls in short sleeved or sleeveless blouses/tops/dresses. I seriously stand out right now

[JsOtherHalf]

Have you ever tried silicon gel on the scars? I used a sheet on a scar with good results. It also comes in a tube of gel now too:
www.amazon.co.uk/Kelo-cote-Advanced-Formula-Scar-Gel/dp/B004Q1QKGW/ref=pd_sim_d_5?ie=UTF8&refRID=1DM7MFTA17NHJX449ET1&tag=mumsnet&ascsubtag=mnforum-21

[FickleUsernameChooser]

Js... that sounds amazing. I've never heard of that. I know it's pricey but I might just invest in some of that :)

[Star8369]

my boyfriend has scars from self harming in the past, my friends little boy saw them and asked how he got them and he told the little boy he got them from fighting a bear

[GilbertBlytheWouldGetIt]

Sorry you feel this way Fickle, it's horrible people make you feel self conscious.

Have you seen these tattoo covers for days when you'd like to wear short sleeves?

www.ebay.co.uk/itm/like/161291656931?limghlpsr=true&hlpv=2&ops=true&viphx=1&hlpht=true&lpid=108&device=c&adtype=pla&crdt=0&ff3=1&ff11=ICEP3.0.0&ff12=67&ff13=80&ff14=108

www.ebay.co.uk/itm/like/161078055821?limghlpsr=true&hlpv=2&ops=true&viphx=1&hlpht=true&lpid=108&device=c&adtype=pla&crdt=0&ff3=1&ff11=ICEP3.0.0&ff12=67&ff13=80&ff14=108

[Bardette]

I saw a plastic surgeon who said he could skin graft the whole area, it would still be scarred but less distinctively.
I decided not to go through with it and I'm so glad I didn't. I stopped wearing long sleeves all the time about 3 years ago and have had several conversations since with people who are worried about a daughter/friend/colleague who SHs. It's been great to be able to try and offer some advice and support to others now I'm in a place to do so.
Plus I've found that the scars add a certain credibility if I'm talking to teens, like I've been there so I understand.
Be proud of your scars OP they are your badge of courage and survival.

[FickleUsernameChooser]

Gilbert- I hadn't seen those before but I had wondered whether they existed, thanks :)

Bardette - I selfishly hadn't thought about how showing your scars could help other people open up. I'm glad you were able to help!

[PhaedraIsMyName]

I've gone as far as elbow length sleeves at work but that has been about it for now

I wouldn't even notice. I don't think there is anything odd about wearing elbow length sleeves at work. I have several summer dresses that have bracelet length sleeves, not odd at all.

[Player67]

it is an office where there is no air con and a serious overheating problem. All the guys are in short sleeved shirts and the girls in short sleeved or sleeveless blouses/tops/dresses. I seriously stand out right now

Same at my work. Floaty top is perfect. I wore several this week