Jesus Christ this mother on Child Genius, AIBU to think it's so ironic?

[MamaPain]

Putting aside the fact she has in all seriousness pointed out how she is far more intelligent than her daughter who can only operate in an intelligent manner due to her parenting.

Is it just me who thinks it extremely a tad ironic that she is a psychologist, yet seems to lack the insight or understanding as to how her comments may affect her child or appear to others. Also surely being so informed and intelligent, she knows that yes you can parent without a detail understanding of neurolinguistic programming?

[DiaDuit]

I loved that jocelyn said her parents should be proud of her because she was proud of herself. Such a contrast to aliyah being told she should be grateful to her parents and her parrotting it to the camera like a robot.

[SiennaBlake]

Halfway through now and I'm giving up. How is the amount of pressure on Aliyah not a form of child abuse? It's making me stress just watching and imaging her regimented life with that mother!

[DiaDuit]

It wasnt so much the strict regime that pissed me off but the language the mum used when talking about her daughter "she's not a intelligent as me" "like having stubby legs" and the attitude which, i have no doubt, oozes from her when she is talking to aliyah. She said herself she never lies to to her daughter so she will be 100% aware of her mothers not so great opinion of her.

[toomuchtooold]

I'm going to have to watch it, aren't I? Aargh. Is there is a kid with a bowtie? There's always a kid with a bowtie.

I hate these programmes because they make it more difficult to get high IQ recognised in school as a special need, but it is. It's bloody boring being sat in a classroom for 12 years hearing stuff you've already picked up from the TV and reading. And of course you never get the experience of someone knowing more than you or of having to try hard unless some enlightened teacher thinks about it and starts throwing you stuff to challenge you. You can drift through a whole education, come out with a bunch of great qualifications and precisely none of the emotional skills that you need to take your big brain and do something useful with it.

[bigTillyMint]

Thenapoleonofcrime, re Ruth Lawrence becoming a successful professor of maths, she did NOT need to be home-schooled by her dad, etc to get to this level! Most of the chairs of maths, never mind professors at our top Russell group universities will have gone the normal route of school and university to PhD level (as did my mate from school)

The psychologist mother is clearly bonkers, but given her childhood, it's not really surprising.
Poor little Tudor. I don't think I saw him smile once - what a joyless life
Jocelyn was sweet, but rather indulged. I wonder how she will cope if she ever wants to take external exams, or study something she needs to attend a school/college/university for.
I loved the little boy who had books on how to make friends. If only it was that simple!

[He11y]

I haven't watched the show yet but, in response to the comments about the home-educated child, I can say autonomously educated children tend to do very well at college/university.

They haven't been worn down by years of formal education and have many skills.

Most of all they tend to be happy, confident, balanced, lateral thinkers, motivated and self-driven - all attributes that help them in further/higher education and indeed in the work place.

You'd be surprised how easy it is for them to go to college and catch up/overtake peers who have been in school for 11 years.

[Mercythompson]

Ds1 has a very high iq, (and lots of other issues)

YES to the person who said that things like this are why it's hard to get it recognised as a special need.

And this is why when they do the tests (suggested by and done on the NHS) you get a lecture on how "even these children can be pushed too far!"

Ds1 does karate and swimming as extra activities, that's it! I just wish he could make friends.

[GretchenWiener]

We were approached to be on the show. Got into the first stage. Phone calls Tests etc. I knew I'd never go through with it. Just was curious.
So we watched. S3 said "they're all pricks". Job done.

Plus my make up and hair wasn't bad enough

[Picturesinthefirelight]

I hope dds friend comes out of this ok. Both she & her fdmily would have been quite naive about the whole process.

[KnackeredMuchly]

I can't help but watch these shows and think "If your child was so clever, you wouldn't need to work so hard".

[LRDtheFeministDragon]

I'm just watching this now and I knew there would be a MN thread.

I can see Shoshana is a strange one, and I don't like what she's doing. But I think her point, that her DD's IQ is 135 but she can perform above that, could be a really good one. These shows usually act as if IQ is the be-all and end-all (because of MENSA I guess). It really isn't. You can have a very high IQ and be almost unable to use it and you can have a relatively low IQ, but be very good at using it. I wish people would say that more.

[DiaDuit]

Is there a free test you can do for finding your IQ? I could be harbouring an inner genius but had parents who didnt care enough to unleash it on the world.

[Crinkle77]

Lemondough I had exactly the same thoughts abut Aliyah's mum being like Leonard's mum off the Big Bang Theory. I couldn't believe it when she said she didn't know how parents without knowledge of all the various parenting theories managed to parent successfully. How does she think all the billions of people have managed over the centuries? In fact her parenting style will do more damage to that child than anyone.

[Hakluyt]

"I haven't watched the show yet but, in response to the comments about the home-educated child, I can say autonomously educated children tend to do very well at college/university. "

You forgot the all important some. "Some autonomously educated children .........etc"

I think it's a real shame that, as far as we know so far, the only HE family on the show was such a tedious stereotype. Mind you, all the others were tedious stereotypes, so I don't know why I was expecting anything else!

[tenderbuttons]

Re Jocelyn, DD's best friend has a very similar personality (and is extremely good at art). She is not impressed with school and sees it as an unwonted interference which stops her from drawing and making things all the time. I don't think that being sent to school has changed her attitude at all, so I'm not sure that sending Jocelyn to school would make much difference either!

[ChazsBrilliantAttitude]

At some point children need to learn to motivate themselves. How can they do that with parents who virtually timetable their every breath. How can they ever develop their own interests and personality when they are being forced to conform to their parents' ambitions.

DS1 is the same age and has a similar IQ to Aliyah. He spent the weekend making loom band bracelets. Have I failed as a parent?

[LRDtheFeministDragon]

dia - there is, but they're typically crap and will tend to tell you you're a genius. There's at least one out there that was very popular on FB a while back, which goes up to 200 IQ points.

I think Jocelyn comes across as a sweetie and it does seem she gets a perfectly decent amount of education in, doesn't it? I sort of hope she 'decides' to go to school in a bit, because I can see her actually enjoying it, but she seems pretty happy.

I'm just coming to the end of watching and I feel so much better about something ... my parents are not remotely as pushy as those on there, but they were quite pushy. My mum and brother can do that sort of mental arithmetic, no trouble. I always felt such an idiot I can't (mum teaches maths so she talks about this stuff, and I'm always about three calculations behind her saying 'erm, I believe you ...').

I can do bits of what they're showing - I can do the multiplication and division ones, but not the adding up mostly. I know I'm competing against ten year olds but damn, they're bright ten year olds!

Please tell me I am not the only one feeling proud I got one or two right?!

[DiaDuit]

There's at least one out there that was very popular on FB a while back, which goes up to 200 IQ points

They were expecting me to take the test, no doubt

[AuntieStella]

I took to Jocelyn's parents because they seemed to be the only ones who were paying attention to what their child was actually like, and seemed happy with her exactly as she is. They came across as the least competitive too.

[GretchenWiener]

jocelyn made a great point about smart kids not needing to be challenged - they need to be left alone to be curious

[LRDtheFeministDragon]

But of course, dia!

I wonder if Jocelyn's parents had a bad time at school? I've no reason to say that, I just wonder what was behind their choices. They seem really nice people and I can imagine if you'd hated school, you might do what they're doing.

I don't know I agree about smart kids not needing challenges. I know what she means, and I know people who would have been perfectly happy to do that. But other bright people get bored and don't understand why they're bored, don't they? Maybe this is different if you're super-super-super bright, but its certainly true of plenty of 'normally bright' children I reckon.

[DiaDuit]

Yes i also liked jocelyn's parents. Her education was/is entirely led by her. And she was learning! I mean "old macdonald" in Latin! A very bright young girl, following her own interests, being supported entirely in that by parents who facilitate her interests and create opportunities for learning, with no pressure to win/achieve/perform/score high. I wish i could do that for my dcs.

[DiaDuit]

And she was happy to top it all off.

[DiaDuit]

I have two children. Ds1 is very bright (in school) but gets bored very quickly. He wont seek to entertain himself, and will whinge about having nothing to do. DS2 is only turned 5 so is in early stages of school life but appears very capable and apart from a speech issue doesnt struggle in school/reading/writing/counting etc. he is always 'doing' singing/talking/drawing/jigsaws/digging etc etc. he is never bored. He seems to be happy just being. I have no idea if it is linked to their IQ's (which i dont know) or if just personalities. Not sure which, if either, would do well with home education.

[GooseyLoosey]

I liked Rubiyat and his dad. The child seemed genuinely gifted at maths (as opposed to merely bright and pushed) and to have amazing recall. His dad smiled at him throughout and they had both recognised the importance of social skills.

I was saddened by Aaliyah's parents. They have failed to grasp that they cannot make their daughter a genius or a success - she has to control her own life and meet the world on its own terms.

The most intelligent people I know are not the happiest or most successful by any stretch of the imagination. Those accolades go to those with the best people skills and work ethic. I am not sure that by controlling every minute of your child's day you are achieving either of those things.