To think we've accepted the invite so ds should go to this party?

[Sleepswithbutterflies]

Ds was invited to a party (reception year) ages ago. Party is at 4-6 tomorrow afternoon. We accepted the invite.

Dh has now come back from PiL and announced that brother in law is having a BBQ tomorrow afternoon for niece's birthday, she's 27 by the way so not a child.
Dh wants me to text party invite mother and say ds can no longer go. I don't think this is very fair. Besides which BBQ will be full of adults getting drunk and no other children and ds will get bored. It will be too late to go afterwards as wouldn't get there before 8ish and ds has school on Monday.

Aibu to think we have accepted the invite so should go? Dh's family is huge and there's always something or another of theirs to go to so it's not like we never see them, in fact I don't think we've missed anything else ever. I've suggested popping round beforehand with a present and to say happy birthday, but apparently this isn't good enough.

[CombineBananaFister]

This is a bit poor of your DH because its doesn't ring true. I don't think personally everything should revolve around kids but it's clear he just wants you to be designated driver.
Let him go alone and you do t6he childs party, then have a nice relaxing day tomorrow when he does nice stuff with Ds - not because of tit=for=tat but because he needs some quality time with him after not seeing him.

[MaryWestmacott]

Does he really think they'll be annoyed if you and DS don't go but DH does?

If it's important he goes to DN's party, then he can drive and just not have a drink.

[CrapBag]

So basically your DH wanting to get pissed takes priority over his sons party plans. Selfish arse. And his family getting shitty takes priority too?

So where are you and your son on his priority list? Not very high by the looks of it.

[Catsize]

They'll be annoyed because you are honouring a previously accepted invitation and not dropping everything at a day's notice?
Me thinks they wouldn't be bothered at and DH is laying the guilt on.
Did you give up drinking when pregnant? If so, surely DH could give it up for a night?

[LadyMacbethWasMisunderstood]

You must just not enable his unreasonable behaviour with anymore discussion. DS is going to a party. You are taking him. DH is free to do as he wishes. Repeat. And repeat.

[TheRealAmandaClarke]

If its the family party that's important then he can go, and drive himself.
If its the drinking that's important he can do that at home. Alone.

[TheRealAmandaClarke]

Ladymacbeth absolutely.

[Andro]

To PiL - I'm sorry, DS has a commitment tomorrow/today (depending on when you're answering) so he and I will be unable to attend. Please pass on our best wishes to DN though.

To DH - You're an adult and a father, unfortunately you can't always have what you want.

[TestingTestingWonTooFree]

If your attendance at DN's birthday was crucial you would have been given proper notice/it would have been arranged when you were available. You're not available. As it happens it sounds like you and DS have already accepted a much better offer. Honour it.

[WaitMonkey]

Take ds to the party. Your dh sounds very selfish I'm afraid. I hope this is a one off.

[grobagsforever]

Will DH even be able to do your injections if he has been drinking?

[dreamingbohemian]

grasping at straws here but... could DH get a taxi there in the afternoon, and then you pick him up after DS's party? So you don't have to stay, you just literally pick him up. I know that probably won't work for all kinds of reasons but just if you're desperate.

I think he's being a major twat though so I hope you will just put your foot down and say no.

[Gileswithachainsaw]

Please go to the little bits party. He will be upset about leaving all his friends and this party will mean the world to him.

Let dh drive himself. Tough crap he will have to be a grown up and drink responsibly in order to be able to drive home.

[Gileswithachainsaw]

Little boys

[GoblinLittleOwl]

There is no issue; you and son have accepted an invitation, therefore you have a prior engagement; husband has his own transport to the barbecue, therefore he is able to attend.
The only problem is: do you really want a second child by such a pig-ignorant man?

[FunkyBoldRibena]

could he drive and stay over, and go straight to work from there in the morning?

[Coughle]

So what are you going to do op? You have a pretty unanimous set of opinions here.

[Waltermittythesequel]

If having a drink is really that important to him, you have much bigger problems than a BBQ/kids party conundrum.

[sharonthewaspandthewineywall]

The only problem is: do you really want a second child by such a pig-ignorant man?
^^^ this with nobs on

[DejaVuAllOverAgain]

The only problem is: do you really want a second child by such a pig-ignorant man?

This has been going through my mind too while reading this. OP I sincerely hope your DH has some redeeming qualities because he's not coming across too well atm. Certainly won't be on the long list for father of the year much less winning it.

[Gillian1980]

Ring up the PILs and say "sorry DS and I can't make it but of course you can understand how upsetting it would be for DS and his friend if he missed the party".

I'd bet their response is "no, of course, he must go to the party!"

Then merrily relay to DH that he family weren't in the least annoyed and fully understood how important the party was.

I think he's being very selfish, I'd be most upset with my DH if he behaved like this.

[ThinkIveBeenHacked]

Your dh sounds a delight

Take ds to the party, ask dh if he wants a lift home it will be at X time after you have finished at the party and to be ready to go there and then or he can make his own way home.

[Sleepswithbutterflies]

Taking ds to the party. Dh has popped round with ds to see PIL and niece this morning, I'm just back from the clinic so didnt go.

I just want a second child. Very very badly.

[Waltermittythesequel]

So is he going to the BBQ?

Is he always like this sleeping?

[FatalCabbage]

Sounds like you already have two children but all the very best with the IVF.